All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and of course...that old faithful wax!!!!!

Read on.........

My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet."

So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!)

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax," yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works!

OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this!

Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.

With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet.

Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip)

I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRRRIIIIPPP!!!!

I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!...

OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!

Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...must stay conscious. Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe.................. OK, back to normal.

I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair.

I hold up the strip!

There's no hair on it.

Where is the hair???

WHERE IS THE WAX???

Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip...it's not! I touch. I am touching wax.

I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.

Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut!

I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!" What can I do to melt the wax?

Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???

*WRONG!!!!!!!*

I get in the tub - The water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.

So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter "So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!"

There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?"

She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.

YEAH!!!!! Right!!

I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor . Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!

By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.

My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax.

What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!!

The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care.

"IT WORKS!!

It works !!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....

THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!

So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts.

I could have amputated my own leg at this point.......




Next week I'm going to try hair color......!!!

Great Story . . . but . . . .

Please, for the love of God go see a professional! I firmly hold to the belief that waxing ones nether regions is best left to those who know what they're doing.

And honestly, I swear up and down that it will not hurt nearly as bad as when you try and do it to yourself.

Don't tell me you've tried using eicosane for that....

Great story, and I can't help visualizing it

If this ever happens again (which I doubt ) you should just place back the 'empty' strip, warm the wax underneath with your hand and pull again. Most of the wax should stick onto the strip then.

You should write comedy, that made me laugh so much, especially as I've managed to get into similar situations...

Cold wax is definitely no good for the nether regions, you can get salon type wax that doesn't need strips to pull off for at home.

I've been doing waxing on myself for years using the stuff (I buy it in France or England, Wax-cellence is the most thorough, followed by Nair, DON'T buy the Veet stuff it's rubbish) because I've yet to find a brazilian waxer in Zurich that is a) thorough, b) doesn't cause unnecessary pain and c) is reasonably priced. Closest I've come to perfect is Roma in Zurich, as mentioned in the other thread.

Sorry if you heard me laughing out loud (I'm alone in the office right now, so nobody noticed), but the picture of you and your parts glue-waxed to the bathtub just had me in stitches. I sincerely hope there are no lasting damages!

you poor thing! But you are a fantastic story-teller - I am torn between pity and (sorry) laughter!
I knew there was a reason I have always been leery of DIY wax products for hair removal....

I have to ask.... a phone in the bathroom? I thought only posh hotels had such things and even then I always wonder why?

great story tho

Just wanted to make my mark, this person Bianca from Vanity tel: 044 201 8018 which have already been recommended form similar thread - is good. I have been to see her twice now and I will definitly keep going back. She speaks good English and once you overcome the point of lying on your stomach while you have been de-haired to a very highly bold degree - you will keep going back. She is thorough, quick and as painless as this process could be.

Just wanted to make my mark, this person Bianca from Vanity in Zurich tel: 044 201 8018 which have already been recommended form similar thread - is good. I have been to see her twice now and I will definitly keep going back. She speaks good English and once you overcome the point of lying on your stomach while you have been de-haired to a very highly bold degree - you will keep going back. She is thorough, quick and as painless as this process could be.

At first didn't know what to expect but reading it gave me both information and entertainment. Sorry for what you had to go through but I am lot more wiser now. Will surely not venture into doing by self. Razors are enough if I can't get to the professionals.

....OUCH but good story. I thought I had a high pain threshold, that is until I tried to epilate my armpits.....erradicating pit fuzz is never a pleasant experience but this method was soo painful it required copius paracetamol, some alcohol and finally ice blocks to numb the pain. However the end result was good (after the rash died down) and lasted ages.
God the things we do to ourselves!

Thank you for the recommendation, however, I find CHF 74.- upwards a bit steep for a Brazilian.

Really? Where were you before and how much were you paying? I've never paid less than USD $55, which is about on par with CHF 74. It may be steep for you but honestly I'd almost bet my right arm that you are never going to find good waxer at a cheaper price, particularly in Zurich. Most places I've seen are in excess of CHF 100.

I'm prepared to pay between 50 and 65 Francs and have been to places that cost that. I have also paid more and didn't see a great difference. My reckoning is that if something that I can do myself in about an hour is more expensive than what I earn in two hours work, it's not worth the price. Plus I get really annoyed at wax ladies who try to convince you that it ALL has to come off and then don't stick to your "design preferences", if you know what I mean. So I prefer to do it myself...

Well, then I guess you get what you pay for.

Is this me or is that actually quite a rude thing thing to say? I've been to waxers in several countries and have paid a lot more as well as a lot less, what I was saying is that the places where I would consider returning are in that price range, simple as that. It is a general thing that a lot of "beauty technicians" seem obsessed with making you completely bald, which neither I nor the persons directly involved find attractive.

Rude, no I don't think so. You quoted a price range with which you paid for a Brazilian wax and stated you didn't like the service you received but also said that you didn't want to pay more. Things come with a price and considering how much even a pedicure costs in Zurich, if you go the cheaper route you're often times not gonna get the best results.

Ok, lets look at this rationally:
The price of the treatment equals a) time spent, b) material used and c) location.
I've waxed other people and it takes me 30-45 minutes, I don't understand why it takes some ladies more than an hour to do the job.
The material costs practically nothing, when I buy wax kits it's 7 euros, and I'm not in a position to order stuff like the cosmetics ladies.
Both things don't add up to the price asked, so really, you are paying for location, because I know how much non-independent beauticians are roughly paid and it certainly does not justify the price tag.

But hey, I'm a student, I work part-time, so I have other financial means than most people here. As in, not a lot of them.

Fascinating. Isn't the web great?

Based on kittster and chemgoddess', er, discussion:
I have visions of a chemotherapy style minge hair from some dodgy back street beautician, as opposed to a immaculately buffed telly savalas from a quality joint