Wow! That most be a very boring place to live if this is the only kind of news they are able to provide!

i expect the Local will report on this in 2 weeks time...

I dunno, but it must be a very slow news day for a journalist to actually report and right that story. Geez can you imagine how the interview with the lady who found it went?

News update: Lord Lucan's head was reportedly inside the red bobble hat up the tree according to unconfirmed media reports. "Quite how I oversaw the rotting corpse is still a mystery" said Ethel Muggeridge (107); "I was so impressed by the knit quality of the hat and the attention to detail around the bobble", she added, speaking exclusively to old folks magazine "Colostomy Weekly".

Do you think that perhaps this was printed, say, nine says before the deadline of destruction?

Indeed

And with a more titillating headline. Perhaps -

"Dogger loser vital clothing - hypothermia suspected."

Though when you think of it, papers could save money by writing this kind of "recyclable" article... it wouldn't cost much journalist time and effort to turn a "Hat stuck in tree" article into a "Cat stuck in tree" article, would it ?

The Chichester Chronical had a bespoke automatic "<object> stuck in <object>" news generator. But they had to decommision it after an unfortunate and embarrasing story about the mayor and a goat.

I'm still waiting for:

"Unprotected sexual intercourse may be the missing medical link to an increase in human pregnancies" say leading medical chiefs.

Shocked bosses may be required to distribute info flyers to sexually active consenting adults of reproductive age to avoid sudden demographic surge.

"Quite frankly I'm stunned and embarrassed" said midwife Hansdup Fanny; "this will completely come as a surprise to all of us who believed in the immaculate conception and babies being delivered by FedEx" she continued. "I've always performed my work blindfolded and never questioned the concept" she added.