Euro English

The EU Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language
of the European Union rather than German,which was the other possibility.


As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room
for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".


In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.


The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan
have one less letter.


There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced
with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.


In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more
komplikated changes are possible.


Governments wil enkourage the removal of double leters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.


Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.


By the 4z yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".


During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer,
ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.


Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united
urop vil finali kum tru.


Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

... so where were you back in December when this was originally posted by grumpygrapefruit?

I was on my holidays in Southamerica, enjoying the sun and the beach