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  #621  
Old 19.05.2010, 18:17
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Ya hear about the two peanuts that got on the subway? One was a salted.

I missed my bus this morning. I shouldn't get sentimental about public transport.

I missed my dad yesterday, next time I will use a laser sight.

I ran into my ex the other day in the parking lot. Then I backed up, because sometimes I miss him.

So I heard they finally invented a car that runs on water...
... but you have to get the water from the Gulf of Mexico.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(RUDE JOKE BELOW)~~~~~~~

So a little boy decides to go fishing with his grandpa they weren't catching much. after an hour or two, the grandpa pulled out a bottle of beer to enjoy.

"Grandpa, can I have some?" the boy (named Johnny) asked.

Now,the grandpa knew he couldn't share with the boy, but he decided to crack a joke. "Johnny, can you fit your penis in your own butthole?"

"Well," said Johnny, "no, I really don't think I can."

"Then no, you can't have any beer."

A little while later, grandpa pulled out a cigar to enjoy. Johnny immediately asked, "Grandpa, can I try?"

Again, Grandpa asked, "Can you put your penis in your own butthole?"

"No," said johnny dejectedly.

"Then I'm sorry - you can't try this cigar."

After another hour or two of not catching any fish, Johnny remembers his mommy packed him a cookie for the trip. He pulls it out and starts eating it. "Say, Johnny, how's about givin' your grandpy a bite of that cookie?"

Johnny asked, "Well, grandpa, can you fit your penis in your own butthole?"

Grandpa, intent on outsmarting Johnny, said, "Why of course I can!"

Johnny replied: "Good, then go yourself. This is my cookie."
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  #622  
Old 21.05.2010, 14:50
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Who would you fly?

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  #623  
Old 21.05.2010, 14:55
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

what sound does the falling hair make?



ptui, pthu..
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  #624  
Old 21.05.2010, 15:21
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Why the US will do badly at the World Cup

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  #625  
Old 26.05.2010, 22:39
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

"Ironman" is a superhero. "Iron woman" is a command.
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  #626  
Old 27.05.2010, 12:50
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Q: How many people with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Wanna go ride our bikes?
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  #627  
Old 07.06.2010, 20:12
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Well, that's the last time I get in a Cumbrian taxi and 'call shotgun'.
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  #628  
Old 07.06.2010, 20:15
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Germany wins Eurovision then four days later an old WWII bomb explodes "unexpectedly".

Carlsberg don't do timely reminders, but if they did....
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  #629  
Old 10.06.2010, 18:15
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Q: What's the world's most dangerous ocean?
A: Hepatitis C.


Q: What's the world's most dangerous insect?
A: Hepatitis B.
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  #630  
Old 10.06.2010, 18:20
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Is it ok to post a really really offensive jokes? Cause I got the king of distasteful jokes
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  #631  
Old 10.06.2010, 18:24
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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Is it ok to post a really really offensive jokes? Cause I got the king of distasteful jokes
Well, the worst that can happen is a deleted post or a full week without having to post on EF

Bring it on...
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  #632  
Old 10.06.2010, 18:30
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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Is it ok to post a really really offensive jokes? Cause I got the king of distasteful jokes
Not if I catch you at it. Though I don't usually read any of the Off Topic Forums so you might have got away with it if you hadn't mentioned it in advance. Now it's too late.
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  #633  
Old 10.06.2010, 18:30
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

With the advice of a co-worker, I have decided not to.

But on the plus side, he now has a low opinion of me
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  #634  
Old 10.06.2010, 18:32
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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Is it ok to post a really really offensive jokes? Cause I got the king of distasteful jokes
you can PM it to me....
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  #635  
Old 10.06.2010, 19:06
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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you can PM it to me....

and me please
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  #636  
Old 20.06.2010, 09:51
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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Is it ok to post a really really offensive jokes? Cause I got the king of distasteful jokes
Post it somewhere else, and link to it from here with a warning that it's highly offensive ... problem solved!!

Here's an example of an appropriate place in which to post it! Sydney FC Unofficial's "Lame/sick/offensive joke thread: YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED"
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  #637  
Old 21.06.2010, 00:02
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.
The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”
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  #638  
Old 02.07.2010, 15:53
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Just got this very nasty racist joke from a buddy in OZ, read at your own peril.

Deb & I just Fostered an Abbo kid, I got him smack on the back of the head with all six cans, she hit him with five
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  #639  
Old 02.07.2010, 15:58
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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Just got this very nasty racist joke from a buddy in OZ, read at your own peril.

Deb & I just Fostered an Abbo kid, I got him smack on the back of the head with all six cans, she hit him with five
<wince>
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  #640  
Old 02.07.2010, 16:02
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Here's another off-color (and sexist, to boot!) terrible joke (you have been warned):

"What's the difference between a tribe of pygmies and a women's track team?"

"Well, one's a bunch of cunning runts..."
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