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  #761  
Old 22.07.2011, 14:53
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

A woman wants one man to service her every need.

A man wants every woman to service his one need.
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  #762  
Old 22.07.2011, 14:56
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

I have at least 2 needs that need servicing by a woman: cooking and cleaning!
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  #763  
Old 22.07.2011, 14:58
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Cooking and cleaning I can do myself, the other one I can'......oh wait
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  #764  
Old 22.07.2011, 16:34
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Two farmers are standing chatting in the middle of a country lane. A local lad comes speeding around the corner in his dads car at high speed trying to impress his new girlfriend. He sees the two farmers and swerves at high speed into the field where the car rolls over and explodes.

One farmer looks at the other one and says "It looks like we got out of that field just in time".
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  #765  
Old 25.07.2011, 11:29
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

http://www.englishforum.ch/sale-want...-40-000sf.html

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  #766  
Old 26.07.2011, 14:39
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Can anyone think of a funny joke about Sodium?

Na.
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  #767  
Old 26.07.2011, 14:40
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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Can anyone think of a funny joke about Sodium?

Na.
Ladies and Gentleman, a thread winner.
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  #768  
Old 26.07.2011, 14:51
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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Can anyone think of a funny joke about Sodium?

Na.

Wanna hear a joke about potassium?




K
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  #769  
Old 26.07.2011, 14:51
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

We have to make bad jokes about chemistry, because all the good ones argon.
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  #770  
Old 26.07.2011, 15:23
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Someone once told me a joke about tungsten, arsenic, rhenium, aluminium, cobalt, radon, yttrium, thorium and oxygen...


...WAs ReAl CoRnY ThO







I'll get my coat
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  #771  
Old 26.07.2011, 15:24
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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We have to make bad jokes about chemistry, because all the good ones argon.
O (Oxygen) NO (Nitric Oxide)
....... not another Chemsitry Joke

Last edited by TidakApa; 26.07.2011 at 15:26. Reason: chemistry fail
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  #772  
Old 26.07.2011, 15:25
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Would all those people wanting to make sick jokes about the demise of Amy Winehouse please make a line.

It's what she would have wanted.


/sorry
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  #773  
Old 26.07.2011, 15:28
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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Would all those people wanting to make sick jokes about the demise of Amy Winehouse please make a line.

It's what she would have wanted.


/sorry

Too soon, Too soon,

But I do congratulate her on almost 3 days of sobriety
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  #774  
Old 26.07.2011, 15:32
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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Would all those people wanting to make sick jokes about the demise of Amy Winehouse please make a line.

It's what she would have wanted.


/sorry
What was her greatest hit ?

The last one...
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  #775  
Old 26.07.2011, 15:33
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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Would all those people wanting to make sick jokes about the demise of Amy Winehouse please make a line.

It's what she would have wanted.


/sorry
They cremated her on Saturday. It took 3 days to put the fire out.
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  #776  
Old 26.07.2011, 15:38
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

In for a penny, in for a pound. Thank God this thread doesn't have Groan buttons.

Q: Whats worse than having Britney Spears as a mom?
A: Having Amy Winehouse as a nanny!

Q: Why did the Amy Winehouse snort artificial sweetener?
A: She thought it was diet coke.

Q: What's worth more than a black market kidney or liver?
A: Amy Winehouse's nose hairs!

Q: What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson?
A: Nothing, now.

Q. Why does Amy Winehouse have a tattoo of a pocket on her boob?

A. It's where she keeps the tattoo of her keys.

Q: What's the difference between February and Amy Winehouse?
A: February makes it to 28!

Q: What is Amy Winehouse's last wish?
A: For all her loved ones to please form a line!

Q: What's more toxic to babies than Chinese milk?
A: Amy Winehouse breastfeeding your kids!

Q: How do you know your playing a tennis match with Amy Winehouse?
A: Your opponent tries to snort the service line!

Q: Amy Winehouse's health is at risk due to her crack problem.
A: Her doctors say that if she doesn't wash it soon, she'll get gangrene. Singer Amy Winehouse was rushed to a London hospital Monday night. Apparently she walked naked past a mirror and saw her penis.

Q: Why was Amy Winehouse being treated for an adverse reaction to medication?
A: Doctor said she had overdosed on fresh air.

Q: Amy Winehouse just received the starring role in what movie?
A: Fraggle Rock: The Movie

Q: What will Amy Winehouse do with her 5 grammy awards?
A: Sell them on Ebay to buy crack!

Q: What’s the difference between Amy Winehouse and Amy Winehouse jokes? A: The jokes will get old.

Q: What’s the difference between me and Amy Winehouse?
A: Amy has more money, but I woke up on Saturday!

Q: How do men pick up Amy Winehouse?
A: With a stretcher!

Q: How do you know you have upset god?
A: When he sends you to rehab permanently!

Q: What did Amy Winehouse say right before she died?
A: "How about a magic trick? I'm gonna make this line of coke...disappear!"

Q: What have Amy Winehouse and a fly got in common?
A: They’re both six feet. In world news today Switzerland just medicalised heroin! In other news, Amy Winehouse is moving to Switzerland!

Q: What did the devil say to Amy Winehouse?
A: Amy you should've went to rehab but you said no, no, no!

Q: Why is Amy Winehouse having fainting spells?
A: Her crack levels are getting low!

Q: What do Michael Jackson and Amy Winehouse have in common?
A: They both have a 10 year old crack addiction!

Q: Which movie starring Amy Winehouse is getting Oscar buzz?
A: "Coke Whore"

Q: What is Amy Winehouse's favorite song?
A: I wanna rock!
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  #777  
Old 26.07.2011, 15:39
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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Would all those people wanting to make sick jokes about the demise of Amy Winehouse please make a line.
But I do congratulate her on almost 3 days of sobriety


Oh dear, to be frank, the humour here's going back to black - I really ought to beehive myself but you know I'm no good
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  #778  
Old 26.07.2011, 16:04
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Argon walks into a bar

the bartender says: "We don't serve noble gases here!"

Argon doesn't react
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  #779  
Old 26.07.2011, 16:11
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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the bartender says: "We don't serve noble gases here!"
Clearly a xenonphobe
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  #780  
Old 26.07.2011, 16:13
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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Clearly a xenonphobe
A mushroom walks into the bar,

Bartender says "we don't serve your kind here"

Mushroom responds: "Why not? I'm a Fungi"
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