Go Back   English Forum Switzerland > Off-Topic > Off-Topic > Jokes/funnies
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #781  
Old 26.07.2011, 16:21
weejeem's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: .
Posts: 3,728
Groaned at 37 Times in 31 Posts
Thanked 5,874 Times in 2,467 Posts
weejeem has a reputation beyond reputeweejeem has a reputation beyond reputeweejeem has a reputation beyond reputeweejeem has a reputation beyond reputeweejeem has a reputation beyond reputeweejeem has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Chemist walks into a bar and asks for a glass of the Dead Singer.

Barman says "Of the what?"

"You know, the Amyl Housewine."
Reply With Quote
  #782  
Old 26.07.2011, 16:29
Chemmie's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Zurich
Posts: 3,721
Groaned at 27 Times in 23 Posts
Thanked 4,237 Times in 1,924 Posts
Chemmie has a reputation beyond reputeChemmie has a reputation beyond reputeChemmie has a reputation beyond reputeChemmie has a reputation beyond reputeChemmie has a reputation beyond reputeChemmie has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Quote:
View Post
Chemist walks into a bar and asks for a glass of the Dead Singer.

Barman says "Of the what?"

"You know, the Amyl Housewine."
What's the difference between Winehouse and February?

February can make it to at least 28.
Reply With Quote
  #783  
Old 27.07.2011, 12:15
mirfield's Avatar
Moddy McModface
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Basel
Posts: 8,208
Groaned at 51 Times in 45 Posts
Thanked 8,109 Times in 2,958 Posts
mirfield has a reputation beyond reputemirfield has a reputation beyond reputemirfield has a reputation beyond reputemirfield has a reputation beyond reputemirfield has a reputation beyond reputemirfield has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

An Argon atom walks into a bar.

Barman says, "Why the full valence electron shell?"
Reply With Quote
  #784  
Old 27.07.2011, 13:02
lost_inbroad's Avatar
Unbridled Mod
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Town or region
Posts: 9,985
Groaned at 563 Times in 363 Posts
Thanked 12,625 Times in 5,028 Posts
lost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Quote:
View Post
Would all those people wanting to make sick jokes about the demise of Amy Winehouse please make a line.

It's what she would have wanted.


/sorry
Quote:
View Post
Too soon, Too soon,

But I do congratulate her on almost 3 days of sobriety
Quote:
View Post
What was her greatest hit ?

The last one...
Quote:
View Post
They cremated her on Saturday. It took 3 days to put the fire out.
Quote:
View Post
Oh dear, to be frank, the humour here's going back to black - I really ought to beehive myself but you know I'm no good
Quote:
View Post
In for a penny, in for a pound. Thank God this thread doesn't have Groan buttons.

Q: Whats worse than having Britney Spears as a mom?
A: Having Amy Winehouse as a nanny!

Q: Why did the Amy Winehouse snort artificial sweetener?
A: She thought it was diet coke.

Q: What's worth more than a black market kidney or liver?
A: Amy Winehouse's nose hairs!

Q: What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson?
A: Nothing, now.

Q. Why does Amy Winehouse have a tattoo of a pocket on her boob?

A. It's where she keeps the tattoo of her keys.

Q: What's the difference between February and Amy Winehouse?
A: February makes it to 28!

Q: What is Amy Winehouse's last wish?
A: For all her loved ones to please form a line!

Q: What's more toxic to babies than Chinese milk?
A: Amy Winehouse breastfeeding your kids!

Q: How do you know your playing a tennis match with Amy Winehouse?
A: Your opponent tries to snort the service line!

Q: Amy Winehouse's health is at risk due to her crack problem.
A: Her doctors say that if she doesn't wash it soon, she'll get gangrene. Singer Amy Winehouse was rushed to a London hospital Monday night. Apparently she walked naked past a mirror and saw her penis.

Q: Why was Amy Winehouse being treated for an adverse reaction to medication?
A: Doctor said she had overdosed on fresh air.

Q: Amy Winehouse just received the starring role in what movie?
A: Fraggle Rock: The Movie

Q: What will Amy Winehouse do with her 5 grammy awards?
A: Sell them on Ebay to buy crack!

Q: What’s the difference between Amy Winehouse and Amy Winehouse jokes? A: The jokes will get old.

Q: What’s the difference between me and Amy Winehouse?
A: Amy has more money, but I woke up on Saturday!

Q: How do men pick up Amy Winehouse?
A: With a stretcher!

Q: How do you know you have upset god?
A: When he sends you to rehab permanently!

Q: What did Amy Winehouse say right before she died?
A: "How about a magic trick? I'm gonna make this line of coke...disappear!"

Q: What have Amy Winehouse and a fly got in common?
A: They’re both six feet. In world news today Switzerland just medicalised heroin! In other news, Amy Winehouse is moving to Switzerland!

Q: What did the devil say to Amy Winehouse?
A: Amy you should've went to rehab but you said no, no, no!

Q: Why is Amy Winehouse having fainting spells?
A: Her crack levels are getting low!

Q: What do Michael Jackson and Amy Winehouse have in common?
A: They both have a 10 year old crack addiction!

Q: Which movie starring Amy Winehouse is getting Oscar buzz?
A: "Coke Whore"

Q: What is Amy Winehouse's favorite song?
A: I wanna rock!
Are you guys serious...despite of how she lived, she was a human being and a very talented one at that. I'm the first one to crack sarcastic jokes but I have the common decency to respect a person's death. Upthehatters, you out of all people disappoint me the most. Didn't you write a thread about your diabetes...should we crack jokes about that sh*t or how your piss a** homo medicine is nothing but water?

Last edited by lost_inbroad; 27.07.2011 at 13:57.
Reply With Quote
  #785  
Old 27.07.2011, 13:24
Upthehatters2008's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: In the kitchen at parties.
Posts: 4,579
Groaned at 212 Times in 126 Posts
Thanked 6,078 Times in 2,378 Posts
Upthehatters2008 has a reputation beyond reputeUpthehatters2008 has a reputation beyond reputeUpthehatters2008 has a reputation beyond reputeUpthehatters2008 has a reputation beyond reputeUpthehatters2008 has a reputation beyond reputeUpthehatters2008 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Quote:
View Post
Are you guys serious...despite how she lived, she was human being and a very talented one at that. I'm the first one to crack sarcastic jokes but I have the common decency to respect a person's death. Upthehatters, you out of all people disappoint me the most. Didn't you write a thread about your diabetes...should we crack jokes about that sh*t or how your piss a** homo medicine is nothing but water?
I think the name of this forum gives adequate license for graveyard humour. No need to take offense in this forum. Had you known her personally, that would be a different matter.
Reply With Quote
  #786  
Old 27.07.2011, 13:42
mirfield's Avatar
Moddy McModface
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Basel
Posts: 8,208
Groaned at 51 Times in 45 Posts
Thanked 8,109 Times in 2,958 Posts
mirfield has a reputation beyond reputemirfield has a reputation beyond reputemirfield has a reputation beyond reputemirfield has a reputation beyond reputemirfield has a reputation beyond reputemirfield has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Quote:
View Post
I think the name of this forum gives adequate license for graveyard humour. No need to take offense in this forum. Had you known her personally, that would be a different matter.
If there was anything actually relevant or funny, then maybe I'd agree with you, but it's mostly re-hashed shite.
Reply With Quote
  #787  
Old 27.07.2011, 13:44
lost_inbroad's Avatar
Unbridled Mod
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Town or region
Posts: 9,985
Groaned at 563 Times in 363 Posts
Thanked 12,625 Times in 5,028 Posts
lost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Quote:
View Post
I think the name of this forum gives adequate license for graveyard humour. No need to take offense in this forum. Had you known her personally, that would be a different matter.
Regardless of whether I knew her personally, the humoruous attempts at being funny on the account of a loss of life was rather tasteless and below anybody's standards..even yours for that matter.
Reply With Quote
  #788  
Old 27.07.2011, 13:44
Upthehatters2008's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: In the kitchen at parties.
Posts: 4,579
Groaned at 212 Times in 126 Posts
Thanked 6,078 Times in 2,378 Posts
Upthehatters2008 has a reputation beyond reputeUpthehatters2008 has a reputation beyond reputeUpthehatters2008 has a reputation beyond reputeUpthehatters2008 has a reputation beyond reputeUpthehatters2008 has a reputation beyond reputeUpthehatters2008 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Quote:
View Post
If there was anything actually relevant or funny, then maybe I'd agree with you, but it's mostly re-hashed shite.
"Repertoire of terrible jokes" ???
Reply With Quote
  #789  
Old 27.07.2011, 14:26
Chemmie's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Zurich
Posts: 3,721
Groaned at 27 Times in 23 Posts
Thanked 4,237 Times in 1,924 Posts
Chemmie has a reputation beyond reputeChemmie has a reputation beyond reputeChemmie has a reputation beyond reputeChemmie has a reputation beyond reputeChemmie has a reputation beyond reputeChemmie has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Quote:
View Post
"Repertoire of terrible jokes" ???

Definitely, If you're easily offended this is not the place to be.
Reply With Quote
  #790  
Old 27.07.2011, 14:27
TidakApa's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Top of a Triangle
Posts: 3,009
Groaned at 42 Times in 33 Posts
Thanked 5,673 Times in 2,039 Posts
TidakApa has a reputation beyond reputeTidakApa has a reputation beyond reputeTidakApa has a reputation beyond reputeTidakApa has a reputation beyond reputeTidakApa has a reputation beyond reputeTidakApa has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Jesus...... the jokes maybe tasteless and in seemingly poor form.

But they are no worse than any string of jokes that came out about:

Princess Diana
Michael Jackson
The Twin Towers
Challenger Space Shuttle
etc.

The list goes on.


Why are you so defensive about Amy Winehouse?

All the others were relatively unexpected accidents....... Amy was a train crash waiting to happen.

Jokes about these sorts of people are inevitable, good taste or bad

The next significant person who dies, the same string of jokes will come out again.


If it's not your taste..... suck it up
Reply With Quote
  #791  
Old 27.07.2011, 14:30
PaddyG's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Pensier, Fribourg
Posts: 8,296
Groaned at 107 Times in 91 Posts
Thanked 14,219 Times in 5,025 Posts
PaddyG has a reputation beyond reputePaddyG has a reputation beyond reputePaddyG has a reputation beyond reputePaddyG has a reputation beyond reputePaddyG has a reputation beyond reputePaddyG has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Quote:
View Post
Jesus...... the jokes maybe tasteless and in seemingly poor form.

But they are no worse than any string of jokes that came out about:

Princess Diana
Michael Jackson
The Twin Towers
Challenger Space Shuttle
etc.

The list goes on.


Why are you so defensive about Amy Winehouse?

All the others were relatively unexpected accidents....... Amy was a train crash waiting to happen.

Jokes about these sorts of people are inevitable, good taste or bad

The next significant person who dies, the same string of jokes will come out again.


If it's not your taste..... suck it up
I think LIB is turning into a Fluffeh

Next thing you know, he'll be buying tickets for public transport.
Reply With Quote
  #792  
Old 27.07.2011, 14:32
TidakApa's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Top of a Triangle
Posts: 3,009
Groaned at 42 Times in 33 Posts
Thanked 5,673 Times in 2,039 Posts
TidakApa has a reputation beyond reputeTidakApa has a reputation beyond reputeTidakApa has a reputation beyond reputeTidakApa has a reputation beyond reputeTidakApa has a reputation beyond reputeTidakApa has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Quote:
View Post
But they are no worse than any string of jokes that came out about:

Princess Diana
Michael Jackson
The Twin Towers
Challenger Space Shuttle
Speaking of, and getting back on topic...... some of my favourites from the past on the above subjects.


Princess Diana
What did the Queen buy Fergie for her birthday?

A one way trip to Paris and a Black Mercedes


Michael Jackson
When do the children go to bed at Never Never Land?

When the big hand touches the little hand


The Twin Towers
Why didn't Superman save the Twin Towers?

He was a Quadraplegic


Challenger Space Shuttle
Where do Astronaughts go for Holidays?

All over Florida
Reply With Quote
  #793  
Old 27.07.2011, 15:31
weejeem's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: .
Posts: 3,728
Groaned at 37 Times in 31 Posts
Thanked 5,874 Times in 2,467 Posts
weejeem has a reputation beyond reputeweejeem has a reputation beyond reputeweejeem has a reputation beyond reputeweejeem has a reputation beyond reputeweejeem has a reputation beyond reputeweejeem has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Attachment 30113

Just sayin'...

Last edited by weejeem; 14.10.2011 at 16:03.
Reply With Quote
  #794  
Old 27.07.2011, 15:34
Chemmie's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Zurich
Posts: 3,721
Groaned at 27 Times in 23 Posts
Thanked 4,237 Times in 1,924 Posts
Chemmie has a reputation beyond reputeChemmie has a reputation beyond reputeChemmie has a reputation beyond reputeChemmie has a reputation beyond reputeChemmie has a reputation beyond reputeChemmie has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Quote:
View Post
Attachment 30113

Just sayin'...
Reply With Quote
  #795  
Old 27.07.2011, 17:03
Chemmie's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Zurich
Posts: 3,721
Groaned at 27 Times in 23 Posts
Thanked 4,237 Times in 1,924 Posts
Chemmie has a reputation beyond reputeChemmie has a reputation beyond reputeChemmie has a reputation beyond reputeChemmie has a reputation beyond reputeChemmie has a reputation beyond reputeChemmie has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Reply With Quote
  #796  
Old 28.07.2011, 09:53
dodgyken's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Democratic Republic Kenistan
Posts: 9,840
Groaned at 340 Times in 276 Posts
Thanked 17,510 Times in 6,686 Posts
dodgyken has a reputation beyond reputedodgyken has a reputation beyond reputedodgyken has a reputation beyond reputedodgyken has a reputation beyond reputedodgyken has a reputation beyond reputedodgyken has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Reply With Quote
  #797  
Old 28.07.2011, 10:14
KeinFranzösisch's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 2,212
Groaned at 64 Times in 39 Posts
Thanked 2,549 Times in 1,115 Posts
KeinFranzösisch has a reputation beyond reputeKeinFranzösisch has a reputation beyond reputeKeinFranzösisch has a reputation beyond reputeKeinFranzösisch has a reputation beyond reputeKeinFranzösisch has a reputation beyond reputeKeinFranzösisch has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

A duck walks into an apothecary and says, "Give me some chapstick, and put it on my bill."

A man walks up to me and says, "I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepe." I said, "Relax man! your too tense!"
Reply With Quote
  #798  
Old 28.07.2011, 11:23
higgybaby's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Zurich
Posts: 992
Groaned at 44 Times in 28 Posts
Thanked 765 Times in 397 Posts
higgybaby has a reputation beyond reputehiggybaby has a reputation beyond reputehiggybaby has a reputation beyond reputehiggybaby has a reputation beyond reputehiggybaby has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

For (many of) the British, almost all topics are open for poor taste jokes.
Maybe exceptions would be child murders and molesting.
Apart from that in many circles, it's open season.

But as English Forum is not just for English people, could someone else please send us a date for our calendars when we are permitted to post jokes about Amy Winehouse?

I remember the Diana jokes that came out straight after her death. People I knew found them hilarious and clever but I'm sure my mother would've been motified.

Maybe the above Amy jokes (which I personally think are fair game) would sit better in the Jokes that you laugh at but know you shouldn't thread....
Jokes that make you laugh - when you know they shouldn't! (NSFW, sigh)
Reply With Quote
  #799  
Old 28.07.2011, 11:50
TidakApa's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Top of a Triangle
Posts: 3,009
Groaned at 42 Times in 33 Posts
Thanked 5,673 Times in 2,039 Posts
TidakApa has a reputation beyond reputeTidakApa has a reputation beyond reputeTidakApa has a reputation beyond reputeTidakApa has a reputation beyond reputeTidakApa has a reputation beyond reputeTidakApa has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

A Duck walks into a bar and orders a beer.

The bartender asks:
"What's your name"
"Huey"
"What have you been upto today?"
"ahhh, I've been in and out of puddles all day and felt like a beer"
"OK then, there you go"

A little while later another duck walks into the same bar.

The bartender asks:
"What's your name"
"Dewey"
"What have you been upto today?"
"ahhh, I've been in and out of puddles all day and felt like a beer"
"OK then, there you go"


Not long after another duck walks in and sits at the bar.

The bartender says:
"ahhh, You must be Louie?"

"Nope" says the duck
"I'm Puddles"
Reply With Quote
  #800  
Old 28.07.2011, 13:08
KeinFranzösisch's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 2,212
Groaned at 64 Times in 39 Posts
Thanked 2,549 Times in 1,115 Posts
KeinFranzösisch has a reputation beyond reputeKeinFranzösisch has a reputation beyond reputeKeinFranzösisch has a reputation beyond reputeKeinFranzösisch has a reputation beyond reputeKeinFranzösisch has a reputation beyond reputeKeinFranzösisch has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Quote:
View Post
For (many of) the British, almost all topics are open for poor taste jokes.
Maybe exceptions would be child murders and molesting.
Apart from that in many circles, it's open season.

But as English Forum is not just for English people, could someone else please send us a date for our calendars when we are permitted to post jokes about Amy Winehouse?
When the news broke that Amy had died, I posted to my FB, "I guess they tried to make her go to rehab and she said 'no, no, no'. I caught so much grief for that from BRITISH people. My American friends thought it was funny though.

On a different topic, a friend of mine mentioned something about the holy ghost "touching" people and I remarked, "What a pervert!!!" to which she promptly replied, "That's not funny! It's offensive and it's obscene!!!"

Some people just don't have senses of humor outside of their own schedules.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
funnies, punography




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
EF Challenge: Number plate cushions litespeed Transportation/driving 42 30.08.2013 23:54
Website Challenge Lob Jokes/funnies 38 01.07.2008 22:01
I think I may be making a terrible mistake !! gypsy21 Daily life 66 27.04.2007 00:09
Ski Challenge Nickj General off-topic 0 04.12.2006 13:33


All times are GMT +2. The time now is 03:07.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0