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  #1081  
Old 17.11.2012, 20:39
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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A woman was driving to work, listening to the radio, when she heard about a prisoner who had escaped from the mental institution. The announcer warned anyone who might spot him to be careful, because most certainly armed and dangerous, and was known to show no fear and be quite audacious.

The woman didn't pay much attention, but as she waited at a red light, she witnessed something awful. Right outside the car window, a man in a bright orange jumpsuit sauntered up to a group of people, took out a knife, and stabbed them all, in broad daylight on a busy city street! He then fled down the sidewalk.

The woman called the police. The dispatcher had her describe what had happened, and then asked "And, ma'am, is the suspect still present at the scene?" The woman replied, "No, not anymore...

...the brazen nut ran!"

Did you miss out 'Cereal / Serial killer" somewhere in that joke ?
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  #1082  
Old 11.12.2012, 11:54
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]


How do the Chinese dance to 'YMCA' ???
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  #1083  
Old 11.12.2012, 12:08
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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How do the Chinese dance to 'YMCA' ???
I don't know. How do the Chinese dance to 'YMCA' ?
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  #1084  
Old 11.12.2012, 12:22
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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I don't know. How do the Chinese dance to 'YMCA' ?
If I knew, why would I ask ?
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  #1085  
Old 11.12.2012, 16:37
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Christian joke, not for Muslims! Whom get upset too easily...

Thought you might like this one!! This joke is Not for Muslims



Cairns International Airport

(You gotta love this one even if you've never lived in the Far North. )
Some of you (pilots...) will enjoy this more than others.... Queenslanders can be so polite!
Cairns Tower : "Saudi Air 511 - You are cleared to land on runway 9R."
Saudi Air : "Thank you Cairns . Acknowledge cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R - Allah be Praised."
Cairns Tower : " Iran Air 711 - You are cleared to land on runway 27L."
Iran Air : "Thank you Cairns . We are cleared to land on infidel's runway 27L. - Allah is Great."

Pause....

Saudi Air : " CAIRNS TOWER - CAIRNS TOWER !"
Cairns Tower : "Go ahead Saudi Air 511..."
Saudi Air : "YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFT FOR
THE SAME RUNWAY GOING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS. WE
ARE ON A COLLISION COURSE . ... .. .. .. INSTRUCTIONS, PLEASE!"


Cairns Tower
: "Well bless your hearts, and praise to Jesus.
Proceed to your destination and tell Allah we said hi."
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  #1086  
Old 11.12.2012, 16:38
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Re: terrible jokes

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Thanks for the laugh where did you find all those jokes?
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  #1087  
Old 11.12.2012, 19:25
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Re: Christian joke, not for Muslims! Whom get upset too easily...

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Thought you might like this one!! This joke is Not for Muslims
I think you overslept. It's not the seventies any more.
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  #1088  
Old 28.12.2012, 16:28
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Q: How many NRA spokesmen does it take to change a light bulb?

A: More guns
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  #1089  
Old 31.12.2012, 09:35
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Bigamy is having one partner too many, and monogamy is the same...
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  #1090  
Old 31.12.2012, 10:09
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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Q: How many NRA spokesmen does it take to change a light bulb?

A: More guns
They'll just shoot the bad lightbulb?
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  #1091  
Old 14.01.2013, 21:53
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Q: Which social networking executive is a small mountain in central Switzerland?

A: Mark Zugerberg!




(You might not believe it, but I just made that up this very minute...)
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  #1092  
Old 14.01.2013, 22:00
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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Q: Which social networking executive is a small mountain in central Switzerland?

A: Mark Zugerberg!




(You might not believe it, but I just made that up this very minute...)
Entirely believable.
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  #1093  
Old 14.01.2013, 22:46
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Why didn't the chicken cross the road ?

Because he was a chicken....
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  #1094  
Old 15.01.2013, 11:16
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road ?

Because he was a chicken....
Why did the chicken cross the road?
(Why?)
To visit his idiot friend!
(..brief moment of confusion...)
Knock knock!
(Who's there?)
The chicken
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  #1095  
Old 15.01.2013, 11:19
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Two blondes walk into a building.....

You think one of them would have seen it!
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  #1096  
Old 15.01.2013, 11:36
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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They'll just shoot the bad lightbulb?
The idea is that to the NRA (National Rifle Association), the answer to every problem is "everybody need more guns"
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  #1097  
Old 15.01.2013, 21:01
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Q: Which verb tense is the most suspicious?

A: The accusative!
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  #1098  
Old 16.01.2013, 14:18
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

The Irish Millionaire

Mick, from Dublin , appeared on 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' and towards the end of the program had already won 500,000 euros. "You've done very well so far," said Chris Tarrant, the show's presenter, "but for a million euros you've only got one life-line left, phone a friend. Everything is riding on this question. Will you go for it?"

"Sure," said Mick. "I'll have a go!"

"Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest?

a) Sparrow

b) Thrush

c) Magpie

d) Cuckoo?"

"I haven't got a clue." said Mick, ''so I'll use last lifeline and phone my friend Paddy back home in Dublin .."

Mick called up his mate, and told him the circumstances and repeated the question to him.

"Fookin hell, Mick!" cried Paddy. "Dat's simple it's a cuckoo."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm fookin sure."

Mick hung up the phone and told Chris, "I'll go with cuckoo as my answer."

"Is that your final answer?" asked Chris.

"Dat it is."

There was a long, long pause and then the presenter screamed, "Cuckoo is the correct answer! Mick, you've won 1 million euros!"

The next night, Mick invited Paddy to their local pub to buy him a drink.

"Tell me, Paddy? How in Heaven's name did you know it was da Cuckoo that doesn't build its own nest?"

"Because he lives in a Fookin clock".
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  #1099  
Old 16.01.2013, 14:22
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

I ordered a burger in a restaurant last night, when asked what I wanted on it, I said "Lester Piggot".
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  #1100  
Old 16.01.2013, 18:35
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

My friend had a Tesco beef burger last night and it gave him the trots. Its alright though, he's stable now.


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