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  #1101  
Old 18.01.2013, 09:07
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]




Anyone know what I can do with 100 boxes of Tesco burgers I've been saddled with?
Despite the recent news, Tesco says that their beef burger sales remain stable...

Just got a batch of 200 Tesco beef burgers cheap, it only cost me a Pony

Just checked my Tesco Burgers in the fridge.....and they're off!

Prices are going through the hoof in my area.

Reading the label on these Tesco burgers.... it turns out they're fairly low in fat, but surprisingly high in Shergar

Trouble is now people beginning to question the content of tesco's finest new extra long sausages....

New kids food found in budget supermarket ..My lidl pony


Had a tesco burger the other day but it gave me the trots

Tesco are expecting burger sales to go down initally......but not furlong

Apparently they've now refused to name their mane supplier

Tesco PR department are having a mare !

Is it a coincidence that 'hamburgers' is an anagram of Shergars Bum ?

Tesco scored highly in a recent Gallop Poll

Apparently the burgers go really well with Philly dip.
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  #1102  
Old 18.01.2013, 10:14
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

A bloke went to the Doctor and says "I have a Strawberry growing out of my head, what shall I do?"

Doctors says "Put some cream on it then"
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  #1103  
Old 18.01.2013, 10:14
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #1104  
Old 26.01.2013, 14:25
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Paddy and Colleen were making passionate love in Paddy's mini van when suddenly Colleen, being a bit on the kinky side, yells out,
"Oh big boy, whip me, whip me!"

Paddy, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity, obviously did not have any whips on hand, but in a flash of inspiration,
he opens the window, snaps the antenna off his van and proceeds to whip Colleen until they both collapse in ecstasy.

About a week later, Colleen notices that the marks left by the whipping are starting to fester a bit so she goes to the doctor.
The doctor takes one look at the wounds and asks, "Did you get these marks having sex?"

Colleen, a little embarrassed that she has slept with Paddy (let alone that she allowed the kinky boy to whip her) eventually admits that, yes, she did.


Nodding his head knowingly, the doctor exclaims,"I thought so, because in all my years as a doctor, you've got the worst case of van-aerial disease that I've ever seen."

(It is filed under thread for terrible jokes...)
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  #1105  
Old 26.01.2013, 16:58
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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Paddy and Colleen were making passionate love in Paddy's mini van when suddenly Colleen, being a bit on the kinky side, yells out,
"Oh big boy, whip me, whip me!"

Paddy, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity, obviously did not have any whips on hand, but in a flash of inspiration,
he opens the window, snaps the antenna off his van and proceeds to whip Colleen until they both collapse in ecstasy.

About a week later, Colleen notices that the marks left by the whipping are starting to fester a bit so she goes to the doctor.
The doctor takes one look at the wounds and asks, "Did you get these marks having sex?"

Colleen, a little embarrassed that she has slept with Paddy (let alone that she allowed the kinky boy to whip her) eventually admits that, yes, she did.


Nodding his head knowingly, the doctor exclaims,"I thought so, because in all my years as a doctor, you've got the worst case of van-aerial disease that I've ever seen."

(It is filed under thread for terrible jokes...)
And that's where I hope it stays....
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  #1106  
Old 26.01.2013, 17:15
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

The Beijing Olympics: on the first day, the Romanians took a medal. On the second day, the Romanians took a medal. On the third day, they got caught.
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  #1107  
Old 26.01.2013, 17:29
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Why do they call it PMS? Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken
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  #1108  
Old 28.01.2013, 18:16
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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There. That should annoy just about everybody.....
Except WASPs..right?
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  #1109  
Old 28.01.2013, 18:54
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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Except WASPs..right?
...especially those offended by excessively overly bold coloured fonts.
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  #1110  
Old 28.01.2013, 19:50
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Yeah, I suppose in retrospect it could be offensive, sorry about that.
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  #1111  
Old 28.01.2013, 19:58
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

How do Aussies know when a plane load of Poms have arrived , ?

The engines are turned off, but you can still hear the Whining.
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  #1112  
Old 28.01.2013, 20:29
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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How do Aussies know when a plane load of Poms have arrived , ?

The engines are turned off, but you can still hear the Whining.
I guess you wiped the dinosaur shit off that one...
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  #1113  
Old 28.01.2013, 22:00
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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I guess you wiped the dinosaur shit off that one...
My point exactly....
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  #1114  
Old 29.01.2013, 16:37
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

I was going to post a high-def a picture of my breakfast cereal, but it was too grainy.
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  #1115  
Old 03.02.2013, 19:33
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

How do you make a Swiss laugh?
Point a gun at his head and tell him to laugh.
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  #1116  
Old 05.02.2013, 21:12
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

I had entered a witty pun contest with ten different entries. I really tried to win, but no pun in ten did.
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  #1117  
Old 05.02.2013, 21:21
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

How do you keep an idiot in suspense ?
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  #1118  
Old 11.02.2013, 20:11
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Which bleaching product is the most agreeable?

Jawohl Wasser
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  #1119  
Old 11.02.2013, 20:49
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense ?
C'mon. I've been waiting nearly a week now.

How?
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  #1120  
Old 11.02.2013, 21:46
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Went to the doctors for my 6 monthly check up. He told me I had to watch what I was eating.....





So I booked tickets to the Grand National
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