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  #1181  
Old 30.10.2013, 10:19
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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Good one!
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  #1182  
Old 30.10.2013, 20:40
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

not exactly a joke but it fits here:

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  #1183  
Old 31.10.2013, 21:51
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

What is the favorite drink of the ancient Greek underworld?

Gin an Chthonic.
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  #1184  
Old 05.11.2013, 12:55
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Recently a "Husband Super Store" opened where women could go to choose a husband from many men.
It was laid out over five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended.

The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to choose a man from that floor; if you went up a floor, yo...u couldn't go back down except to leave the place, never to return.

A couple of girlfriends went to the shopping center to find some husbands...

First floor
The door had a sign saying, "These men have jobs and love kids."
The women read the sign and said, "Well, that's better than not having a job or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?"
So up they went.

Second floor
The sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking."
"Hmmm," said the ladies, "But I wonder what's further up?"

Third floor
This sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework."
"Wow," said the women, "Very tempting."
But there was another floor so further up they went.

Fourth floor
This door had a sign saying "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak."
"Oh, mercy me," they cried, "Just think what must be awaiting us further on!"

So up to the fifth floor they went.

Fifth floor
The sign on that door said, "This floor is empty and exists only to prove that women are impossible to please.
The exit is to your left; we hope you fall down the stairs."
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  #1185  
Old 06.11.2013, 18:27
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

the most inappropriate halloween costumes of all time:

http://happyplace.someecards.com/111...ll-time/page/1
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  #1186  
Old 06.11.2013, 18:47
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

http://www.memecenter.com/fun/450536...d-two-assholes
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  #1187  
Old 06.11.2013, 18:55
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

lololololololol :d

Last edited by MAzevedo; 06.11.2013 at 18:56. Reason: Emoticon... editing does nothing to it... it is dead...
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  #1188  
Old 07.11.2013, 09:22
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Good morning, the Royal Baby “Prince George” is still less than 6 months old and has already completed three things on my bucket list......



He has;



1. Become a billionaire

2. Met the Queen

3. Sucked on Kate Middleton's tits


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  #1189  
Old 07.11.2013, 15:57
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

A kid walking down the street sees a drunken dirty clown sitting on the sidewalk making balloon animals.

"Hey Mister, can you make a pregnant dog?"

"Yeh Kid, ya got a dog?"
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  #1190  
Old 14.11.2013, 14:28
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

A Liverpool girl goes to the welfare office to register for child benefit.

"How many children?" asks the welfare officer.

"Ten" replies the Liverpool girl,

"Ten?" says the welfare worker.

"What are their names?"

"Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan and Nathan"

"Doesn't that get confusing?"

"Naah..." says the Liverpool girl, "It's great because if they are out playing in the street I just have to shout 'Nathan yer dinner's ready!'or ''Nathan go to bed now!' and they all do it.

"What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the curious welfare worker.

"That's easy," says the Liverpool girl... "I just use their surnames"
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  #1191  
Old 14.11.2013, 14:30
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Saw a horrible accident today, some guy's dog stepped into the road whilst he was walking it, went straight under a car.

Bloke didn't even flinch or try to help, just stood there trying to look cool in his sunglasses.
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  #1192  
Old 14.11.2013, 14:32
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

How many Freudians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw in the lightbulb and the other to hold the penis. Ladder. I meant ladder.
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  #1193  
Old 17.11.2013, 01:13
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

So is life
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  #1194  
Old 18.11.2013, 11:09
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

double barrel names:

http://www.locksleynet.com/2010/05/2...rel-your-name/
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  #1195  
Old 20.11.2013, 11:35
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

First Christmas Joke


Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'


The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It's a candle', he said.


'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.


The Scotsman reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'


Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.


The Frenchman started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.


St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'



The third replied, 'These are Carol's.'


And So The Christmas Season
Begins......


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  #1196  
Old 21.11.2013, 00:46
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Son:"Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this awesome girl!"


Father: "That's great son. Who is she?" Son: "It's the neighbor's daughter"


Father: "Ohhh I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell you something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. She is actually your sister. "


The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later ...


Son: "Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!"
Father: "That's great son. Who is she?"


Son: "It's the other neighbor's daughter."


Father: "Ohhhh I wish you hadn't said that. She is also your sister."


This went on couple of times and the son was so mad, he went straight to his mother crying.


Son:"Mum I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls but I can't date any of them because dad is their father!"


The mother hugs him affectionately and says: "My love, you can date whoever you want. Don't listen to him He isn't your father."
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  #1197  
Old 23.11.2013, 13:10
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

I used to know a transvestite who lived just outside Manchester. He had a Wigan address.
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  #1198  
Old 23.11.2013, 13:12
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Two goldfish in a tank one says to the other, "can you drive this"?
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  #1199  
Old 23.11.2013, 21:41
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #1200  
Old 23.11.2013, 21:58
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Bruce on Strictly:

Doctor, Doctor I have a strawberry stuck in my ear

No worries, I have cream for that.






Is it time for him to go?
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