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  #1261  
Old 24.07.2014, 17:55
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Posted by H.P.R.Gunawardena at infolanka.com/jokes

(1)A man was granted two wishes by God,
He asked for the best drink & the best woman ever......
Next moment he got mineral water & Mother Teresa.

(2)There are 3 kinds of men in this world.
Some remain single and make wonders happen.
Some have girlfriends and see wonders happen.
Rest get married and wonder what happened!

(3)Wives are magicians.
They can change anything into an argument.

(4)Why do women live a Better, Longer & Peaceful Life, as compared to men?
A very INTELLIGENT student replied: "Because Women don't have a wife!"

(5)"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."
"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"
"I know all that," he said.
"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"
"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married"

(6)COOL MESSAGE BY A WIFE
Dear Mother-in-law, Don't teach me how to handle my children.
I am living with one of yours and he needs a lot of improvement!?

(7)I WILL THINK ABOUT IT:
When a married man says, I'll think about it - what he really means is that he doesn't know his wife's opinion yet.

(8)TALKING IN SLEEP:
A lady says to her doctor: "My husband has a habit of talking in his sleep! What should I give him to cure it?"
The doctor replies: "Give him an opportunity to speak when he's awake!
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  #1262  
Old 03.08.2014, 16:36
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Why is it raining today, it's Sun-day?

Sorry
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  #1263  
Old 05.08.2014, 09:37
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

So, what I found in today's Bad Joke Feed -

"why do Marxists only drink herbal teas? Because proper tea is theft!"



"my friend just told me I don't understand irony at all. Which was ironic because we were at a bus stop."

Awesome.
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  #1264  
Old 05.08.2014, 18:12
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #1265  
Old 05.08.2014, 20:49
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #1266  
Old 09.08.2014, 14:55
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #1267  
Old 13.08.2014, 17:59
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #1268  
Old 14.08.2014, 14:18
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

A Catholic Priest, a Presbyterian Minister, and a Jewish Rabbi having a discussion about "When does Life begin".........

Catholic Priest: "Life begins at the moment of conception"

Presbyterian Minister: "Life begins when the baby is born"

Jewish Rabbi: "You guys know nothing - Life begins when the children leave home and the dog dies".
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  #1269  
Old 15.08.2014, 15:26
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

What kind of doctor is always on call?













An oncologist!!
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  #1270  
Old 15.08.2014, 16:21
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

What's the best thing about living in Switzerland?










I don't know but the flag is a big plus.
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  #1271  
Old 15.08.2014, 17:48
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Quote:
View Post
What's the best thing about living in Switzerland?










I don't know but the flag is a big plus.
http://www.google.com/cse?sitesearch...lus&gsc.page=1
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  #1272  
Old 15.08.2014, 17:50
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Hahaha,the joke is still making me laugh. The Bad Joke site where I saw it actually had a photo of the flag when you clicked on answer, it was cute. I don't think I will find it. I wonder who ripped who.
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  #1273  
Old 15.08.2014, 17:54
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

We even have this member...

http://www.englishforum.ch/members/1...-big-plus.html
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  #1274  
Old 15.08.2014, 18:02
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Oh, yeah - I remember getting a kick out of that. So clevers.

One I was blessed with the other day:

-"Children, what does chicken give us?" - "Eggs!"
-"Excellent. What does a sheep give us?" - "Wool!"
-"Very well. What does a cow give us?" - "Homework!"

Ok. That's worse than bad.
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  #1275  
Old 15.08.2014, 18:21
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

What's the best thing about living in Switzerland?

Well, the flag is SHUT THE F/CK UP!!!!
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  #1276  
Old 18.08.2014, 10:49
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

What's the worst thing about living in Switzerland?

That lame flag joke always makes me a bit cross.
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  #1277  
Old 19.08.2014, 16:54
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

A roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says, "five pints please."
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  #1278  
Old 19.08.2014, 16:55
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

"I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again."
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  #1279  
Old 19.08.2014, 17:00
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

What is Iron Man without his suit?






Stark naked.
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  #1280  
Old 19.08.2014, 17:06
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Why is there no Iron Woman?







because it sounds more like an instruction than a super hero
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