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  #1621  
Old 23.02.2016, 23:28
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

A history professor and a psychology professor are sitting outside at a nudist colony
History professor: Have you read Marx?
Psychology professor: Yes. I think it's from the wicker chairs.
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  #1622  
Old 23.02.2016, 23:42
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

repertoire-terrible-jokes-i-challenge-you-0280_9e37_500.jpeg
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  #1623  
Old 24.02.2016, 00:11
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

A prof is telling students the exam on the following day will be important and the only excuse accepted will be a death in the family or a serious medical condition.

"What about an extreme sexual fatigue?" asks a smarmy student.

"I think in that case you will have to quickly learn to write with the other hand".
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  #1624  
Old 24.02.2016, 00:14
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

A squirrel is chillin' in a tree when a cow climbs up and sits next to him.

"Whatcha doin' here?" asks the squirrel.

"I'm here to eat some apples." says the cow.

"But this is a pine tree!"


"I know, I brought my own apples."
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  #1625  
Old 24.02.2016, 13:29
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

repertoire-terrible-jokes-i-challenge-you-cm8ebp1wgaqgerp.jpg
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  #1626  
Old 24.02.2016, 16:44
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #1627  
Old 24.02.2016, 17:06
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

might be seen already
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  #1628  
Old 24.02.2016, 17:33
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #1629  
Old 24.02.2016, 20:13
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

"Sweetheart, can you cover your mouth when yawning?" grandmother asks her grand-kid.

"No worries, my teeth won't fall out."
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  #1630  
Old 24.02.2016, 20:24
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Burt Bacharach asks Sean Connery who his favourite composer is.

Sean answers "Schubert"

Burt replies "Why thank you, Sean, I'm flattered."
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  #1631  
Old 24.02.2016, 22:49
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #1632  
Old 25.02.2016, 18:25
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

The world's leading expert on European wasps walks into a record store

...and asks the assistant “Do you have ‘European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2? I believe it was released this week.”

“Certainly.” replies the assistant.“Would you like to listen before you buy it?”

"That would be wonderful." says the expert and puts on a pair of headphones.

He listens for a few moments and says to the assistant “I'm terribly sorry but I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and this is not accurate at all. I don't recognise any of those sounds. Are you sure this is the correct recording?”

The assistant checks the turntable, and replies that it is indeed European Vespidae acoustics Volume 2. The assistant apologies and lifts the needle onto the next track.

Again the expert listens for a few moments and then says to the assistant "No, this just can't be right! I've been an expert in this field for 43 years and I still don't recognise any of these sounds."

The assistant apologises again and lifts the needle to the next track.

The expert throws off the headphones as soon as it starts playing and is fuming with rage. "This is outrageous false advertising! I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and no European wasp has ever made a sound like the ones on this record!"

The manager of the shop overhears the commotion and walks over.

"What seems to be the problem, sir?"

"This is an outrage! I am the world's leading expert on European wasps. Nobody knows more about them than I do. There is no way in hell that the sounds on that record were made by European wasps!"

The manager glances down and notices the problem instantly.

"I'm terrible sorry, sir. It appears we've been playing you the bee side."
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  #1633  
Old 25.02.2016, 21:17
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #1634  
Old 26.02.2016, 15:49
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

I just paid €72 for a goldfish at the fair.

Nothing special about it, I'm just useless at darts.

Manchester United have cancelled Marouane Fellaini's birthday celebration and crossed their fingers.

Last edited by Rob; 26.02.2016 at 15:52. Reason: I can't tpye.
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  #1635  
Old 26.02.2016, 16:44
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

BREAKING NEWS:

A man who took an airline to court after his luggage went missing, has lost his case.
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  #1636  
Old 26.02.2016, 17:16
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

"Mom, I will never go back to school" Annie is crying.

"Why, darling?"

"All the kids are very mean. They hate me."

"But you have to. You are the teacher!"
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  #1637  
Old 26.02.2016, 18:40
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

repertoire-terrible-jokes-i-challenge-you-7d49yre.jpg


:d
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  #1638  
Old 27.02.2016, 11:49
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #1639  
Old 27.02.2016, 12:07
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #1640  
Old 27.02.2016, 12:16
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Gotta get me a cardboard signpost like that.. wonder if it would work on the kids

repertoire-terrible-jokes-i-challenge-you-7447ce20-1490-4fdb-a166-482a5f3f51d8.jpg.png
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