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  #1661  
Old 07.03.2016, 14:21
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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If Donald Trump gets elected, there'll be hell toupee.
I think people might eventually comb over to his way of thinking.
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  #1662  
Old 07.03.2016, 14:56
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Two real oldies...

Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.


Why's diarrhea hereditary?

It runs in your jeans.
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  #1663  
Old 07.03.2016, 17:57
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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i think people might eventually comb over to his way of thinking.
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  #1664  
Old 09.03.2016, 22:39
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #1665  
Old 11.03.2016, 23:03
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #1666  
Old 12.03.2016, 01:39
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Dark humour is like food, not everyone gets it.
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  #1667  
Old 16.03.2016, 16:29
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

A retired guy sits around the house all day so one day his wife says,
"Barry, you could do something useful, like vacuum the house once a week".

The guy gives it a moment's thought and says, "Sure why not. Show me to
the vacuum".

Half an hour later, the guy comes into the kitchen to get some coffee. His
wife says, "I didn't hear the vacuum working, I thought you were using it"?
Exasperated, he answers, "The stupid thing is broken, it won't start. We
need to buy a new one".

"Really", she says, "show me - it worked fine the last time".

So he did,

https://videos.files.wordpress.com/Xblfe4qf/retired-vacum-cleaner_dvd.mp4
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  #1668  
Old 17.03.2016, 08:17
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #1669  
Old 17.03.2016, 16:20
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #1670  
Old 17.03.2016, 16:40
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Quote:
View Post
A retired guy sits around the house all day so one day his wife says,
"Barry, you could do something useful, like vacuum the house once a week".

The guy gives it a moment's thought and says, "Sure why not. Show me to
the vacuum".

Half an hour later, the guy comes into the kitchen to get some coffee. His
wife says, "I didn't hear the vacuum working, I thought you were using it"?
Exasperated, he answers, "The stupid thing is broken, it won't start. We
need to buy a new one".

"Really", she says, "show me - it worked fine the last time".

So he did,

https://videos.files.wordpress.com/Xblfe4qf/retired-vacum-cleaner_dvd.mp4


hahaha---I am so going to do that as well!!


reminds me of this one:


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  #1671  
Old 17.03.2016, 17:05
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

I was at a job interview today, and the interviewer said, "It says on your CV that you are quick at mental arithmetic. What's seventeen times nineteen?"

I immediately said, "Thirty-six."

He said, "That's not even close."

I said, "But it was quick"
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  #1672  
Old 19.03.2016, 16:21
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself "This changes everything"
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  #1673  
Old 24.03.2016, 08:04
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

its a dad joke apparently

repertoire-terrible-jokes-i-challenge-you-screen-shot-2016-03-24-07.01.39.png
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  #1674  
Old 24.03.2016, 11:33
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #1675  
Old 28.03.2016, 13:52
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #1676  
Old 28.03.2016, 14:07
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #1677  
Old 30.03.2016, 15:50
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #1678  
Old 08.04.2016, 10:19
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the Cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bell ringer was needed..

The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process.

After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he had decided to call it a day. Just then, an armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bell ringer's job. The bishop was incredulous.

'You have no arms !'

'No matter,' said the man. 'Observe !' He began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon.
The bishop listened in astonishment; convinced he had finally found a replacement for Quasimodo.

But suddenly, as he rushed forward to strike the bell, the armless man tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below.

The stunned bishop rushed down two hundred and ninety five church steps, when he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only a moment before.

As they silently parted to let the bishop through, one of them asked, 'Bishop, who was this man?'.

'I don't know his name,' the bishop sadly replied, '



.................. BUT HIS FACE RINGS A BELL'


WAIT ! WAIT ! There's more

The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on his heart due to the unfortunate death of the armless campanologist, the bishop continued his interviews for the bell ringer of Notre Dame.

The first man to approach him said, 'Your Excellency, I am the brother of the poor armless wretch that fell to his death from this very belfry yesterday. I pray that you honour his life by allowing me to replace him in this duty.'

The bishop agreed to give the man an audition, and, as the armless man's brother stooped to pick up a mallet to strike the first bell, he groaned, clutched at his chest, twirled around, and died on the spot.

Two monks, hearing the bishop's cries of grief at this second tragedy, rushed up the stairs to his side.

'What has happened? Who is this man?' the first monk asked breathlessly.

'I don't know his name,' sighed the distraught bishop, 'but...'


(. . . Wait for it ....)


(.. . . It's worth it... ....)



'HE'S A DEAD RINGER FOR HIS
BROTHER..'
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  #1679  
Old 10.04.2016, 23:10
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

The flat earth society has members all around the globe.
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  #1680  
Old 13.04.2016, 13:01
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

sorry

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