Go Back   English Forum Switzerland > Off-Topic > Off-Topic > Jokes/funnies
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1921  
Old 20.08.2016, 23:22
Swisstree's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Hants/ZH
Posts: 1,470
Groaned at 25 Times in 18 Posts
Thanked 2,489 Times in 947 Posts
Swisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

A bus pulls up and opens the door, one of two blonds leans inside and asks the bus driver: "Will this bus take me to Piccadilly Circus?"

The bus driver shakes his head and says "No, I'm sorry."

Hearing this, the other blond leans inside, smiles, and twitters: "Will it take ME?"
Reply With Quote
  #1922  
Old 20.08.2016, 23:26
JagWaugh's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Eglisau
Posts: 3,973
Groaned at 31 Times in 30 Posts
Thanked 7,214 Times in 2,905 Posts
JagWaugh has a reputation beyond reputeJagWaugh has a reputation beyond reputeJagWaugh has a reputation beyond reputeJagWaugh has a reputation beyond reputeJagWaugh has a reputation beyond reputeJagWaugh has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

A blonde is out for a walk along the riverside. She spots another blonde across the river. She waves and shouts "Hiiiii". The other one waves back and shouts "Hiiii". After this much conversatation they both take a break, then the first blonde shouts "Do you know how I can get to the other side?". After a pause the second shouts back "But.... you are on the other side!"
Reply With Quote
  #1923  
Old 20.08.2016, 23:28
Swisstree's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Hants/ZH
Posts: 1,470
Groaned at 25 Times in 18 Posts
Thanked 2,489 Times in 947 Posts
Swisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

How do you amuse a blonde for hours?

Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
Reply With Quote
  #1924  
Old 20.08.2016, 23:47
ZuriRollt's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Zürich
Posts: 1,786
Groaned at 41 Times in 31 Posts
Thanked 2,054 Times in 923 Posts
ZuriRollt has a reputation beyond reputeZuriRollt has a reputation beyond reputeZuriRollt has a reputation beyond reputeZuriRollt has a reputation beyond reputeZuriRollt has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

A friend told the blond man: “Christmas is on a Friday this year.” The blond man then said, “Let ‘s hope it ‘s not the 13th.”
Reply With Quote
  #1925  
Old 20.08.2016, 23:47
Swisstree's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Hants/ZH
Posts: 1,470
Groaned at 25 Times in 18 Posts
Thanked 2,489 Times in 947 Posts
Swisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?

Because it said 'concentrate'.
Reply With Quote
  #1926  
Old 20.08.2016, 23:51
MusicChick's Avatar
modified and reprogrammed
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: La Cote
Posts: 9,713
Groaned at 87 Times in 70 Posts
Thanked 11,201 Times in 5,564 Posts
MusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Reply With Quote
  #1927  
Old 20.08.2016, 23:52
Swisstree's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Hants/ZH
Posts: 1,470
Groaned at 25 Times in 18 Posts
Thanked 2,489 Times in 947 Posts
Swisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

How do you make a blond laugh on Monday mornings?

Tell a joke on Friday night!
Reply With Quote
  #1928  
Old 21.08.2016, 00:00
Swisstree's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Hants/ZH
Posts: 1,470
Groaned at 25 Times in 18 Posts
Thanked 2,489 Times in 947 Posts
Swisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Why do blondes like lightning?

They think someone is taking their picture.
Reply With Quote
  #1929  
Old 22.08.2016, 12:53
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Oerlikon
Posts: 30
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts
umabca has no particular reputation at present
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Lol.. A whole set of funny ones..

You are not as bad as people say, you are much, much worse.
Now we know why some animals eat their own children.
Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested.
Talk is cheap, but that's ok, so are you.
If we killed everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder…it would be an apocalypse!
This is an excellent time for you to become a missing person.
I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
When I look into your eyes, I see straight through to the back of your head.
A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind.
Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you any worse advice.
Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today.
Reply With Quote
  #1930  
Old 22.08.2016, 22:37
Swisstree's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Hants/ZH
Posts: 1,470
Groaned at 25 Times in 18 Posts
Thanked 2,489 Times in 947 Posts
Swisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

repertoire-terrible-jokes-i-challenge-you-12524049_568174029996859_2656064167172248864_n.jpg
Reply With Quote
  #1931  
Old 25.08.2016, 12:08
starmir's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Kanton Zurich
Posts: 226
Groaned at 2 Times in 1 Post
Thanked 189 Times in 90 Posts
starmir has slipped a little
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

-
Attached Thumbnails
repertoire-terrible-jokes-i-challenge-you-122.jpg  
Reply With Quote
  #1932  
Old 25.08.2016, 18:35
CathHarmony's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Best City, Greatest Nation
Posts: 1,301
Groaned at 192 Times in 106 Posts
Thanked 1,072 Times in 591 Posts
CathHarmony has a reputation beyond reputeCathHarmony has a reputation beyond reputeCathHarmony has a reputation beyond reputeCathHarmony has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

repertoire-terrible-jokes-i-challenge-you-screen-shot-2016-08-25-17.34.25.png
Reply With Quote
  #1933  
Old 26.08.2016, 12:22
Swisstree's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Hants/ZH
Posts: 1,470
Groaned at 25 Times in 18 Posts
Thanked 2,489 Times in 947 Posts
Swisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

repertoire-terrible-jokes-i-challenge-you-14022118_1114741025260885_671660500597174472_n.jpg
Reply With Quote
  #1934  
Old 26.08.2016, 20:47
MusicChick's Avatar
modified and reprogrammed
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: La Cote
Posts: 9,713
Groaned at 87 Times in 70 Posts
Thanked 11,201 Times in 5,564 Posts
MusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Reply With Quote
  #1935  
Old 26.08.2016, 20:56
Swisstree's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Hants/ZH
Posts: 1,470
Groaned at 25 Times in 18 Posts
Thanked 2,489 Times in 947 Posts
Swisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Ha! I decided that becoming a vegetarian was a missed steak.
Reply With Quote
  #1936  
Old 26.08.2016, 20:59
MusicChick's Avatar
modified and reprogrammed
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: La Cote
Posts: 9,713
Groaned at 87 Times in 70 Posts
Thanked 11,201 Times in 5,564 Posts
MusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Quote:
View Post
Ha! I decided that becoming a vegetarian was a missed steak.


(for you)
Reply With Quote
  #1937  
Old 26.08.2016, 21:05
Swisstree's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Hants/ZH
Posts: 1,470
Groaned at 25 Times in 18 Posts
Thanked 2,489 Times in 947 Posts
Swisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

That's the wurst looking lettuce I have ever seen.
Reply With Quote
  #1938  
Old 26.08.2016, 21:16
MusicChick's Avatar
modified and reprogrammed
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: La Cote
Posts: 9,713
Groaned at 87 Times in 70 Posts
Thanked 11,201 Times in 5,564 Posts
MusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Reply With Quote
  #1939  
Old 26.08.2016, 21:21
Swisstree's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Hants/ZH
Posts: 1,470
Groaned at 25 Times in 18 Posts
Thanked 2,489 Times in 947 Posts
Swisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

You look hungry.. I just ate some cheese and feel grate.
Reply With Quote
  #1940  
Old 26.08.2016, 21:23
MusicChick's Avatar
modified and reprogrammed
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: La Cote
Posts: 9,713
Groaned at 87 Times in 70 Posts
Thanked 11,201 Times in 5,564 Posts
MusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
funnies, punography




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
EF Challenge: Number plate cushions litespeed Transportation/driving 42 30.08.2013 23:54
Website Challenge Lob Jokes/funnies 38 01.07.2008 22:01
I think I may be making a terrible mistake !! gypsy21 Daily life 66 27.04.2007 00:09
Ski Challenge Nickj General off-topic 0 04.12.2006 13:33


All times are GMT +2. The time now is 20:19.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0