Go Back   English Forum Switzerland > Off-Topic > Off-Topic > Jokes/funnies
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 09.02.2015, 20:50
Sbrinz's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Murten - Morat
Posts: 11,036
Groaned at 544 Times in 344 Posts
Thanked 10,624 Times in 5,442 Posts
Sbrinz has a reputation beyond reputeSbrinz has a reputation beyond reputeSbrinz has a reputation beyond reputeSbrinz has a reputation beyond reputeSbrinz has a reputation beyond reputeSbrinz has a reputation beyond repute
A poem attributed to Pam Ayres

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY

The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;...

T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".
Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread.

In her left hand she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!

Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
"I am a dominator!!"

Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.

She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit!

Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My God what had I done!
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one!!"

Well readers, I can tell no more;
Of what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey!
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 09.02.2015, 21:09
Dougal's Breakfast's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: GL
Posts: 15,611
Groaned at 976 Times in 744 Posts
Thanked 39,543 Times in 12,351 Posts
Dougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond reputeDougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond reputeDougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond reputeDougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond reputeDougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond reputeDougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond repute
Re: A poem attributed to Pam Ayres

John Summers must be getting a bit fed up with this...
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 09.02.2015, 21:34
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Neuchatel
Posts: 19,708
Groaned at 396 Times in 294 Posts
Thanked 22,656 Times in 10,230 Posts
Odile has a reputation beyond reputeOdile has a reputation beyond reputeOdile has a reputation beyond reputeOdile has a reputation beyond reputeOdile has a reputation beyond reputeOdile has a reputation beyond repute
Re: A poem attributed to Pam Ayres

Just shows even Lidl underwear can't always produce miracles.

Are you a bit frustrated lately Sbrinz?
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
poem




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Pam Ann Live J.L-P Concerts 2 01.06.2009 12:50
Poem Nyctalgia General off-topic 17 07.01.2009 12:42


All times are GMT +2. The time now is 23:39.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0