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  #381  
Old 21.07.2009, 01:52
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Re: FAIL of the day

Mum says carpenter son chopped own penis off

A UK carpenter has accidentally chopped off his own penis while sawing timber to build a cabinet, his mother says.
Stuart Keen's mother, Edna, said her 54-year-old son had been cutting wood when he suffered the horrific accident.
She said surgeons were able to reattach the severed appendage.
"Stuart is a carpenter and uses sharp and sometimes dangerous tools," said Mrs Keen.
"This was an unfortunate accident, but these things happen all the time to people in his profession."
An ambulance spokesman said when paramedics arrived at Mr Keen's Oxfordshire home, they found him bleeding in the bathtub.
"I have spoken to him and he is quite embarrassed about the whole incident," said Mr Keen's mum.


http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574...-13762,00.html
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  #382  
Old 21.07.2009, 07:54
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Re: FAIL of the day

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Mum says carpenter son chopped own penis off

A UK carpenter has accidentally chopped off his own penis while sawing timber to build a cabinet, his mother says.

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574...-13762,00.html
Was he sawing in the nude? Can't see how it would happen accidentally, otherwise!
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  #383  
Old 21.07.2009, 12:24
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Re: FAIL of the day

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Was he sawing in the nude? Can't see how it would happen accidentally, otherwise!
Perhaps he found sawing to be exciting? Could give a new meaning to 'Do It Yourself'
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  #384  
Old 21.07.2009, 12:27
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Re: FAIL of the day

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Was he sawing in the nude? Can't see how it would happen accidentally, otherwise!
Well it does say he was "cutting wood"... but I don't think they mean timber...
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  #385  
Old 21.07.2009, 12:39
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Re: FAIL of the day

"This was an unfortunate accident, but these things happen all the time to people in his profession."

ALL the time?! Think not. Some of the time or a bit of the time, perhaps.

What would Jesus say about this?

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  #386  
Old 21.07.2009, 12:45
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Re: FAIL of the day

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Well it does say he was "cutting wood"... but I don't think they mean timber...
Thought that was funny.. couldnt do a thumbs up for some reason though hence this long winded comment.
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  #387  
Old 21.07.2009, 13:30
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Re: FAIL of the day

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  #388  
Old 21.07.2009, 13:41
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Re: FAIL of the day

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What would Jesus say about this?
That its a perfect example of natural selection at play?
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  #389  
Old 21.07.2009, 13:45
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Re: FAIL of the day

Speeding driver was watching ****, police say



Jul 21, 2009 04:30 AM

TORONTO STAR
Police who pulled over a motorist on Highway 401 near Port Hope on the weekend say he was watching an X-rated movie while driving 40 km/h over the limit.
The OPP received a complaint about the westbound vehicle from another motorist at 12:39 a.m. on Saturday.
When an officer from the Northumberland detachment clocked the vehicle at 140 km/h and pulled it over, there was a portable DVD player on the passenger seat, police say.
A breathalyzer test found the driver was within the legal limit for alcohol consumption.
Efe Osemwegie, 32, of Mississauga is charged with speeding and operating a motor vehicle with a visible television.
There have been a handful of ****-driving arrests in the U.S. in recent years.
They include a South Carolina man arrested on obscenity charges in 2006 for playing a movie on his in-car video system and, two years earlier, a Schenectady, N.Y., man whose video played on a driver's side visor but also on headrests clearly visible to other motorists.


http://www.thestar.com/news/ontario/article/669276#
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Last edited by Verbier; 21.07.2009 at 13:46. Reason: Got caught by the P O R N filter
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  #390  
Old 22.07.2009, 19:56
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Re: FAIL of the day

$4.4 M lotto winner jailed



Barry Shell, seen with his lottery winnings, was arrested immediately after picking up his cheque for $4.4 million.


Jul 22, 2009 01:00 AM

Dale Anne Freed STAFF REPORTER

Some guys have all the luck.


That's what Barry Shell of Brampton likely thought Monday when he went to pick up his nearly $4.4 million jackpot at Ontario Lottery and Gaming headquarters on Dundas St. W.

But after a smiling Shell, 45, had posed for an OLG photo holding his cheque for $4,377,298, he was arrested outside the building on outstanding criminal charges and taken into police custody.

Instead of escaping to a five-star getaway, he was kept overnight and appeared in a Brampton courtroom yesterday on charges of failing to appear, theft under $5,000 and possession of property obtained by crime.
A warrant for his arrest was issued after Shell failed to show up for a 2003 court date.

Const. Adam Minnion of Peel police said: "The OPP contacted Peel police and said, 'This person is wanted on an outstanding warrant, would you like to return for him?' "

Peel police said they'd go and get him, Minnion said.

Asked how a lottery win could result in the discovery of outstanding warrants, Rui Brum from OLG said last night: "A rigorous investigation process is followed any time a prize is claimed.

"Any flags that are raised are immediately forwarded to the OPP Bureau attached to the AGCO (the Alcohol and Gaming Commission of Ontario) for further investigation."

In an OLG press release announcing Shell's win, he is quoted as saying: "I went to the store and checked my ticket on the self-serve ticket checker.
"As soon as I saw how much I had won, I grabbed a pen and signed my ticket."

He had bought the winning ticket at a Petro Canada on Kennedy Rd. N. in Brampton.

The OLG press release concludes: "The 45-year-old has no immediate plans for the windfall."

http://www.thestar.com/news/gta/article/669888
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Last edited by Verbier; 22.07.2009 at 19:57. Reason: fixed formating
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  #391  
Old 27.07.2009, 13:43
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Re: FAIL of the day

A subliminal message here ... from Sky Sports.

http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b1...005/jjbfyv.jpg
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  #392  
Old 29.07.2009, 11:43
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Re: FAIL of the day

Deaf, disabled man Tasered by Alabama police



Jul 29, 2009 04:30 AM
MOBILE, Ala.–Officers who used pepper spray and a Taser to remove a man from a store bathroom learned only later that the man was deaf and disabled and didn't understand their orders, police said yesterday.
A spokesman for Mobile police said the actions were justified because the man had a potential weapon – an umbrella.
Relatives of Antonio Love, 37, have asked for an investigation and said they plan to sue police and the store.
"I want justice," said Love's mother, Phyllis Love, yesterday. She said her son hears only faintly, has the mental capacity of a 10-year-old and didn't realize it was police who were trying to enter the bathroom. "He thought the devil was out there trying to get in to get him," she said.
In a written statement and a television interview conducted in sign language, Antonio Love said he had a badly upset stomach last Friday and went into a Dollar General store to use the restroom.
Police spokesman Christopher Levy said yesterday that store workers called police, complaining that a man had been in the bathroom for more than an hour with the door locked. Officers knocked on the door and identified themselves, but the person didn't respond.
Officers used a tire iron to open the door, but the man pushed back on it. They then sprayed pepper spray through a crack, to subdue the man, said Levy. When they finally got inside, they shot the man with a Taser.
Officers didn't realize Love was deaf or mentally disabled until he showed them a card he carries in his wallet.



http://www.thestar.com/news/world/article/673239
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  #393  
Old 31.07.2009, 12:47
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Re: FAIL of the day

They won't be joining Mensa anytime soon!

These contractors are installing the steel pillars in concrete to stop vehicles from parking on the pavement outside a Sports Bar downtown. They are now in the process of cleaning up at the end of the day and anxious to go home.





How long do you think it will be before they realize where they parked?
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  #394  
Old 02.08.2009, 22:28
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Re: FAIL of the day

Don't know if this has been done before, but it's just awesome ... either some guy's being painfully honest, or he doesn't know his keyboard!

http://i35.tinypic.com/20a2sg8.jpg
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  #395  
Old 02.08.2009, 22:43
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Re: FAIL of the day

He had better not say that he is American




The best he can do is with a CH keyboard; but nothing to be bragging about!

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  #396  
Old 02.08.2009, 22:47
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Re: FAIL of the day

I'll admit it.

It was me...

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  #397  
Old 02.08.2009, 22:57
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Re: FAIL of the day

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I'll admit it.

It was me...

Where's the 't'?
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  #398  
Old 02.08.2009, 23:10
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Re: FAIL of the day

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Where's the 't'?
In the pot?
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  #399  
Old 03.08.2009, 11:00
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Re: FAIL of the day

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I'll admit it.

It was me...


A dog could use this keyboard, but the missing keys make it only good for putting out to pasture.
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  #400  
Old 11.08.2009, 10:13
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Re: FAIL of the day

Status update fail

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