Excerpts from a Dog's Diary...
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary...
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed
hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the
rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to
keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt
to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. b*s*ards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I
could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this
means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and
seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with
the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My
captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so
he is safe. For now................

Dogs are better...cats are rubbish.

Cats Rule! literally.

I concur in entirety with that statement

(Or more to the point, Planthead's statement)

I agree - I'd rather be pussy whipped any day

God looks like a Panda, and as discussed Panda's are useless and should be destroyed..QED dogs are better.

I actually kinda thought he resembled Osama bin Laden...

Good point..this supports my hypothesis that Dogs are better than cats and by inference people who like dogs are better than people who like cats.
Superiority through canine choice, inferiority through feline fixation

If you want a pet thats 100% dependent on you and requires constant attention and maintenance get a dog. If you want a trouble-free lodger, get a cat

A girl who I was friends with once explained to me that men like dogs because they like things that they can own and control, are completely obedient and loyal and can be easily bent to their will.

I just simply pointed out that men also like girls.

Cats look down on you.
Dogs look up to you.

(But a PIG, stares you straight in the eye.)

Dogs have masters -- cats have staff!!

Cat's are for pussies.

Cat's are pussies

And I have pussies..... Oups!!

We LOVE cats!

Hitler loved cats too.

Dogs are rubbish, you can have the whole experience without actually owning a dog.

• Go for a walk before bed regardless of how cold it is, how drunk you are and whether or not you want to.
• Give 40-50chf to a stranger every morning and impose a rule you are not allowed to go to work before you have found said stranger, regardless of how important it is that you are punctual.
• Every time you go on holiday spend 1 hour randomly ringing people (this replicates trying to find a kennel) then give a stranger 200chf
• Every time you are in a bar push over the table every time a dog walks by and make a loud noise that is generally disturbing and unpleasant for other patrons.
• Remove the toilets from you house and crap on the floor, afterwards pick it up in a bag and put it in the bin.

Whether you decide to go to the extent of removing your testicles is up to you.