Okay, so the lady in my building who organizes the laundry room time and does other stuff like clean the stairs (the "concierge") is incredibly intrusive. Furthermore, I have the super bad luck of having the apartment facing hers. I know, it's Europe and people are way more up in your business (my husband is Italian so I'm not new to that whole thing). But anyway, this lady is always knocking on my door to get into my business, which is annoying, and also makes rude passive-aggressive comments. Like one day my husband and I were leaving with a carry on suitcase and she said something like, "Why don't you go ahead and take that back to America?" Most recently, she rang my bell to ask me if I had purchased the vignette for my bicycle because it's the law. (NONE of her business!--But, yes I had.)

So, my question is: how do I tell her to mind her own business...in French. But not too vulgar. Thanks!

To be honest, I am not sure it is the good way to handle her. If you tell her something like this, even politely, it will piss her off and she may begin to badmouth you and probably get even more on your back.

If she ring the door, don't answer. If you see her and she start on something, thank her very much for all her wonderful help but you can't stay you have to run for something.

You have to keep her in her good mood but keep her away from you. And for that, you have to be less available.

Just my two cents

don't forget to give her something on the 31 December: it's called "les étrennes" in french. Usually it's money and 100 CHF will do to have your peace for the whole year. Maybe you forgot to give her that's why she's annoying

Mêle-toi de tes oignons.

For a handy conversion guide for all sorts of French vocab, I can recommend:

My husband just moved to this apt. in March (I arrived this month), so I guess we haven't had a chance to mess this up yet--but good to know! I think she is just super nosy, it's not just me, it's everyone in the building. She keeps her door open during the hours when people are going to work so that she can pounce on them. When you open the door to leave she tries to surreptitiously peer in the apt. The landlord (gerance) even hates this woman--that's what he told my husband when he came over with the contracts!

Can I ask what beeswax has got to do with this?

She has something that you don't have: the time and patience for such things. So avoid confrontation, be polite and play the "i don't understand" thing. A concierge has a lot of small tricks to be a daily nuisance.

About as much as onions. HTH

about as much as an ashtray on a motorbike. onions i get as in the french for mind your own business, its the beeswax that stumped me

American expression: Mind your own beeswax = mind your own business.

oh. thanks

Apparently originated as an express in the 30s. Probably just the similarity of the word business and beeswax. To make it a little funny and take the sting out, I guess

unfortunately the expression has nothing to do with "onions".
In the french expression it comes from the word "oigne" which means ass/buttocks. It's the equivalent of "occupe toi de tes fesses".

I think I would invite her for a tea, take your agenda and make it in 6 months. She will get the fact you don't feel like being "helped"with integration in the way she proposes

It's good to be on good terms, though. Just don't open the door if you are not up for it. I would, and try to sqeeze some French conversation out of the situ, she might get tired of "teaching" you soon and will lay off..

Looks like she is being friendly, though, in a local way.

Answer the door in a red bustier and matching G-string, invite her in for a cup of tea and ask her pointed questions about the local swinging scene and whether she would be interested in any extra-curricular activities.

Make sure there is ample S&M gear strewn about the appartment.

Oh, and I recommend Earl Grey. It has that certain je ne sais quoi.

If people interfere in my business, I wind them up mercilessly:

"Having friends round this evening, I see?"

"Yes. It's Samhain, and the Blessed Coven of the Goat Sucking Beast always come round mine to celebrate. They're looking forward to seeing the new flat - we're on a ley-line, you see, and there's a confluence of earth-energy streams right under this very building! Can you believe that? It would certainly explain all those lights and noises every evening. Anyway, do you know whether any of the butchers in the village would be able to sell me a black cockerel?"

i wouldn't take the risk....she may accept the offer.

Then it's a win-win situation.

Oh, this thread is cheering me up, big time.

You could also ask about the nearest nudist beach.

Seriously, though, stand out a bit and she will lay off. Put some crazy art posters on your door, that will leave her dumbfounded, and wait if she dares to knock...

Anybody any ideas for crazy art posters?

Beware of the dog sign ?