When asked "Sprechen Sie Deutsch?" in Switzerland I get a big laugh by replying (truthfully) "Spreche kein Deutsch". With that settled we converse in either English or French.

I think I would get an even bigger laugh if I could say it in some kind of Swiss German Translation, please!

"Ich rede nöd dütsch" is what you would say I think.

or in high german

"Ich kann nicht Deutsch"

I've always had a favourable response with "Ich verstehe nur Bahnhof" (I only understand train station).

In Aargau I was taught to shrug and say "sorry, nicht deutsch", and pronounce the last word as if it's doooootsch.

HM

'Ich bin ein Berliner' always gets a laugh....

try this one, real swiss german "Ich kan keis dütsch rede"

"Ich cha kä tüütsch" in Zurich dialect, will be understood in the city plus 2 km in every direction from there

Yeah, but the city is bigger than 2KM, so you may have to have this in your arsenal:

"Ich red kei Düütsch"

Wretched language...

Be British and be proud.... say slowly and loudly "TERRIBLY SORRY OLD CHAP/GIRL, BUT I DONT SPEAK YOUR LINGO!" ;-) Oops you're American, Im sure someone will give a suitable translation...

Joking aside, it's a fantastic way of getting rid of direct marketing phone calls.

Daniel

You can still compliment these from outside the 2km radius on their good Swiss German.

Many thanks to one and all for your help.

The objective is to convey that, alas, I do not speak their language, but that I do know a few words. More precisely, it is to break the ice and encourage them to make the effort needed to speak in a foreign language.

With Babelfish's help I have just modified Dougal's Breakfast's wonderful suggestion into: "Ich verstehe Banhoff, Schnellzug, (maybe add a couple of words) ... et c'est tout ... and that is all", with a shrug of the shoulders when changing from German to the languages I speak.

The Swiss German idea I had seemed cute, but I do not speak a single phrase of Swiss German, while I do know isolated High German words. OK, not quite true ... last summer I was taught "Merci vieldmal" rather than "Danke schön"

	Quote:	RetiredInNH
	Many thanks to one and all for your help. The objective is to convey that, alas, I do not speak their language, but that I do know a few words. More precisely, it is to break the ice and encourage them to make the effort needed to speak in a foreign language. With Babelfish's help I have just modified Dougal's Breakfast's wonderful suggestion into: "Ich verstehe Banhoff, Schnellzug, (maybe add a couple of words) ... et c'est tout ... and that is all", with a shrug of the shoulders when changing from German to the languages I speak. The Swiss German idea I had seemed cute, but I do not speak a single phrase of Swiss German, while I do know isolated High German words. OK, not quite true ... last summer I was taught "Merci vieldmal" rather than "Danke schön"

Heres how great swiss german is..... I live in Kanton Solothurn, near the border to French speaking Biel, and work in a restaraunt with Bosses from Bern. these 3 areas have 3 different ways to speak, I am married to swiss guy from Zurich, and there is another "Dialekt".
Now, I get loads of laughs from the "Solothurners" when I speak cause they think I sound "Bernese", the Bernese laugh cause They say I sound like a Solothurner, and my hubbies family just Laugh cause they rekkon I speak like a solothurner with the speed of a Bernese. Zurich dialekt is spoken very fast, and Bern very slooowww aandd Drrrraaaaaaawn oouuuuut. All areas are very proud of the dialekt and each beleive theirs to be the "real" swiss german.
You can say wie gehts? in any number of different ways. Eg: Goooots??? (pronounce the "o" like you would when saying God), Gahtes? (like saying "hates with a G), laufts??? Loifts??
Merci Viel Mal. Well when your SOlothurn youd say Merci viiow maw, and really round those w's like when you say miow. Geez, the language is a symbol of everything that is Swiss: Complicated, but each area has their own twist on it. An Aussie guy called Rob Spencer (I think thats his name) makes a stand up comedy show taking the P out of the funny quirks between the dialeks and the English language.. I believe he is very funny, not had the chance to see myself tho.....

Rob Spence is pretty funny and well worth catching on tour I would say. We booked him for an xmas party a couple of years back, and it was great for an crowd with lots of swiss and international folk.

Daniel