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  #21  
Old 02.10.2015, 22:13
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Re: Help [writing German cover letter]

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There are certain avoidable mistakes (capitalization anywhere but with nouns/beginnings of sentences, mentioning things in CV which belong in the cover letter and vice versa, misspelling of names/job descriptions) which should definitely be done perfectly. Others aren't as important - but if one hands in a cover letter which isn't at least free of grammatical/spelling errors, there are simply too many other applicants nowadays who possibly have gone through the trouble to weed out grammatical/spelling errors and thus might get a better chance at a job. The cover letter/CV is the first and sometimes only impression one can give for a job and thus score a job interview (unless you call in advance and know how to build sentences and keep up a job-related discussion in a foreign language while under stress), so one should make as good a first impression as possible.

I believe that an applicant has enough time to convince the future boss of their abilities/will to learn when in the job interview, why risk not even getting a chance to attend a job interview if you can avoid it by writing a very good cover letter/CV?
The problem is i have non one to review it. My gf is Swiss, but she workas 24/7 and she has no time. So im left with good people like u and google.
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  #22  
Old 02.10.2015, 22:18
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Re: Help [writing German cover letter]

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The problem is i have non one to review it. My gf is Swiss, but she workas 24/7 and she has no time. So im left with good people like u and google.
Perhaps a friend of hers or someone on EF would take the time to translate and correct your letter (possibly for a fee) and tell you where to put which info. Put up an ad in "Jobs offered" on the Market Place and see what happens.

On another note, txtspk shouldn't be used on EF .
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  #23  
Old 02.10.2015, 23:48
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Re: Help [writing German cover letter]

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Perhaps a friend of hers or someone on EF would take the time to translate and correct your letter (possibly for a fee) and tell you where to put which info. Put up an ad in "Jobs offered" on the Market Place and see what happens.

On another note, txtspk shouldn't be used on EF .
So you think I should try to send the cover letter that this gentelman wrote me here before? Like try and see what will happens.
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  #24  
Old 05.10.2015, 12:10
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Re: Help [writing German cover letter]

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Yea bro I know that all. I wrote that but I just didnt copy here.
huh? then your thread is pointless as you took a google translate eng-ger text showing a very bad german version and it looked as a sketch, not your proper
cover letter. why do you post such a draft when you have a in your eyes perfect text already written? would have saved me some valuable time if you showed your "good to go" text for a spellcheck or something...
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  #25  
Old 05.10.2015, 12:15
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Re: Help [writing German cover letter]

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Some alterations:

Präparation - präparieren means "to dissect" in English - German term for "preparation" (of meals) is Zubereitung

if you say "seit x Jahren Erfahrung", in German it means that you stopped gaining experience x years ago. You should say "ich habe x Jahre Erfahrung" - I have x years of experience
true, thx for pointing that out. i put that together in 15 mins for the guy, no time to re-read and polish it a bit more... thx for the input.
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  #26  
Old 05.10.2015, 13:18
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true, thx for pointing that out. i put that together in 15 mins for the guy, no time to re-read and polish it a bit more... thx for the input.
Thank you buddy, bdw its a girl not a guy

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huh? then your thread is pointless as you took a google translate eng-ger text showing a very bad german version and it looked as a sketch, not your proper
cover letter. why do you post such a draft when you have a in your eyes perfect text already written? would have saved me some valuable time if you showed your "good to go" text for a spellcheck or something...
No no i was sayig that i already know that i need ti put first "dear sir or madam", you helped me alot. I appreciate it!

Last edited by 3Wishes; 05.10.2015 at 21:59. Reason: merging consecutive replies
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  #27  
Old 05.10.2015, 13:30
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Re: Help [writing German cover letter]

->FrankSinatra

Important advice.

If you ask for advice on EF, take it, accept or ignore it, but don't lash out at people trying to help you.

You may not like what they have to say but don't forget they did try to help you.
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  #28  
Old 05.10.2015, 13:43
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Re: Help [writing German cover letter]

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->FrankSinatra

Important advice.

If you ask for advice on EF, take it, accept or ignore it, but don't lash out at people trying to help you.

You may not like what they have to say but don't forget they did try to help you.
I dont understand, what did i say wrong?
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  #29  
Old 05.10.2015, 16:21
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Re: Help [writing German cover letter]

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I dont understand, what did i say wrong?
You replied "Yea bro, I know that all" to flow23's very nice draft. That must have been very frustrating for him as it looked as if he completely wasted his time. Look up "take the piss out of".

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The problem is i have non one to review it. My gf is Swiss, but she workas 24/7 and she has no time. So im left with good people like u and google.
In my world, her reply essentially means she doesn't care about you, your job prospects, your future, nor that of the two of you as a couple. Sorry to be blunt, but are you sure she values you higher than she would any shag buddy? Each and every respondent on here shows more interest in you, your person and your future than her.

While it's true what most here say, that in general the german your job application needs to be perfect, these respondents also need to keep in mind that OP intends to work as a kitchen aid, service aid, or similar. For that, language skill requirements differ a lot from having a desk job. I think for a kitchen job it's very much Ok to show far from perfect german, especially as you have arrived recently.

With that said, I think the template by flow23 is too much of a good thing. If memory serves he's native german, and that clearly shows. At the same time, the structure of his proposal is quite good. Perhaps use your own sentences, and try to rearrange them so they match the structure of his template? That would give your letter a good structure and still maintain your own german.

In your initial post, four out of the first four sentences start with "I". This will not be received well, you need to vary, rephrase. Reposition portions of your sentences, or rephrase a bit in other cases. For instance change
"Ich denke, ich bin für diesen Job perfekt, weil ich jung bin, und ich möchte viel mehr zu lernen."
to
"Weil ich jung und lernfreudig bin, bin ich perfekt für diesen Job geeignet."
(no need for "meiner Meinung nach", you are writing from a personal position)

You will also need to explain the four-year gap between Septemerb 2011 and now.

Your work experience points to you having done cleaning work mostly, that doesn't mean it's also what you're looking for - you need to mention that as well. Perhaps short term and longer term differ? Since you seem to have very little food related experience, it's probably best to not overemphasize that portion even if it's what you aim for, because the gaps there will show immediately once you get to show what you know.

It may also be helpful if you can demonstrate why you are applying for this particular job, at this particular location, i.e. that you have a special motivation for it. Could be anything, perhaps you were impressed by the bustling garden restaurant during your walk day before yesterday.

Feel free to send me your revised application by PM (or send your email address there).
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  #30  
Old 05.10.2015, 16:31
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Re: Help [writing German cover letter]

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It may also be helpful if you can demonstrate why you are applying for this particular job, at this particular location, i.e. that you have a special motivation for it. Could be anything, perhaps you were impressed by the bustling garden restaurant during your walk day before yesterday.

Feel free to send me your revised application by PM (or send your email address there).
I think thats key. "Ich kenne ihr Haus und den guten Ruf den es wegen seiner guten Küche/Gästeservice/als Ausflugslokal geniesst."

or

"Ich habe diverse Bewertungen in der Presse und Online gelesen, speziell was den guten Service Ihres Hauses betrifft. Da ich hier sehr gern meine Kenntnisse einbringen und weiter ausbauen möchte, bewerbe ich mich bei Ihnen um diese Position."

that gives a bit of reason why you're applying beyond "i am young, no job too little and i need the money"
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  #31  
Old 05.10.2015, 16:47
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Re: Help [writing German cover letter]

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You replied "Yea bro, I know that all" to flow23's very nice draft. That must have been very frustrating for him as it looked as if he completely wasted his time. Look up "take the piss out of".



In my world, her reply essentially means she doesn't care about you, your job prospects, your future, nor that of the two of you as a couple. Sorry to be blunt, but are you sure she values you higher than she would any shag buddy? Each and every respondent on here shows more interest in you, your person and your future than her.

While it's true what most here say, that in general the german your job application needs to be perfect, these respondents also need to keep in mind that OP intends to work as a kitchen aid, service aid, or similar. For that, language skill requirements differ a lot from having a desk job. I think for a kitchen job it's very much Ok to show far from perfect german, especially as you have arrived recently.

With that said, I think the template by flow23 is too much of a good thing. If memory serves he's native german, and that clearly shows. At the same time, the structure of his proposal is quite good. Perhaps use your own sentences, and try to rearrange them so they match the structure of his template? That would give your letter a good structure and still maintain your own german.

In your initial post, four out of the first four sentences start with "I". This will not be received well, you need to vary, rephrase. Reposition portions of your sentences, or rephrase a bit in other cases. For instance change
"Ich denke, ich bin für diesen Job perfekt, weil ich jung bin, und ich möchte viel mehr zu lernen."
to
"Weil ich jung und lernfreudig bin, bin ich perfekt für diesen Job geeignet."
(no need for "meiner Meinung nach", you are writing from a personal position)

You will also need to explain the four-year gap between Septemerb 2011 and now.

Your work experience points to you having done cleaning work mostly, that doesn't mean it's also what you're looking for - you need to mention that as well. Perhaps short term and longer term differ? Since you seem to have very little food related experience, it's probably best to not overemphasize that portion even if it's what you aim for, because the gaps there will show immediately once you get to show what you know.

It may also be helpful if you can demonstrate why you are applying for this particular job, at this particular location, i.e. that you have a special motivation for it. Could be anything, perhaps you were impressed by the bustling garden restaurant during your walk day before yesterday.

Feel free to send me your revised application by PM (or send your email address there).
4 year gap as you say. I was going in school and i was working things for my school. How could i work and go to school at the same time. I dont know why people here always complicate things. If you dont like the way i talk "bro" dont talk to me, i didnt ask you for. You all talk like i was asking a cover letter for position of sbb manager. Its just a kitchen job. Its not even a chef, its just kitchen help. And the jobs i applyed for dont even ask for experience. I didnt take your hand and said "go write me a letter".
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  #32  
Old 05.10.2015, 16:53
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Re: Help [writing German cover letter]

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4 year gap as you say. I was going in school and i was working things for my school. How could i work and go to school at the same time. I dont know why people here always complicate things. If you dont like the way i talk "bro" dont talk to me, i didnt ask you for. You all talk like i was asking a cover letter for position of sbb manager. Its just a kitchen job. Its not even a chef, its just kitchen help. And the jobs i applyed for dont even ask for experience. I didnt take your hand and said "go write me a letter".
I didn't expect this cocky a response...
Seriously, this is not going to help you find assistance. You "didn't ask us for help" you say, but you posted a thread here entitled "Help"... quite contradictory.
Refusing to accept the way job applications work here in CH and justifying it with "I'm just applying for [...] job" is not going to help you find a job.
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  #33  
Old 05.10.2015, 17:01
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Re: Help [writing German cover letter]

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I didn't expect this cocky a response...
Seriously, this is not going to help you find assistance. You "didn't ask us for help" you say, but you posted a thread here entitled "Help"... quite contradictory.
Refusing to accept the way job applications work here in CH and justifying it with "I'm just applying for [...] job" is not going to help you find a job.
Im sorry but im not cocky. Its just every time i come here and ask for something, people start jumping on me. Acting like im stupid. I already told i have no experience with cover letter. And some people say again stupid things. If i knew how to write it i would do it by myself.
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  #34  
Old 06.10.2015, 10:11
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Re: Help [writing German cover letter]

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Im sorry but im not cocky. Its just every time i come here and ask for something, people start jumping on me. Acting like im stupid. I already told i have no experience with cover letter. And some people say again stupid things. If i knew how to write it i would do it by myself.
i am still a bit confused. i wrote you a template (free will, yes) and then you say you already have one cover letter? but the text you wrote was shambles. clearly google translate english to german. so i structured it a bit. so what did you have exactly?

i could not see the job advert and the restaurant you want to work for. that could be a sausage booth or a mountain hotel... so eventually its a bit brushed up too much, but without the ad its hard to hit the right tone and style. if its just a low qualified position, id be inclined to walk by and speak to the person right there or speak on the telephone. such jobs you often get by handshake. also when we dont see your CV we dont know that you have been 4 years to school and thats your gap reason which is totally fine.

anyway... good luck.
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  #35  
Old 06.10.2015, 10:30
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Re: Help [writing German cover letter]

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Can someone tell me how im gona write on german " im writing to apply for position of kitchen staff"
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4 year gap as you say. I was going in school and i was working things for my school. How could i work and go to school at the same time. I dont know why people here always complicate things. If you dont like the way i talk "bro" dont talk to me, i didnt ask you for. You all talk like i was asking a cover letter for position of sbb manager. Its just a kitchen job. Its not even a chef, its just kitchen help. And the jobs i applyed for dont even ask for experience. I didnt take your hand and said "go write me a letter".
Good luck.
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  #36  
Old 06.10.2015, 10:58
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Re: Help [writing German cover letter]

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i am still a bit confused. i wrote you a template (free will, yes) and then you say you already have one cover letter? but the text you wrote was shambles. clearly google translate english to german. so i structured it a bit. so what did you have exactly?
I think this might have been a misunderstanding.
When he or she wrote: Yea bro I know that all. I wrote that but I just didnt copy here. I guess he or she meant that he/she knows about the addressing bit (you had mentioned it's best to address the person directly). And I actually think it's a good move to not include the name on here, if he/she was able to get hold of it.
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  #37  
Old 06.10.2015, 19:47
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Re: Help [writing German cover letter]

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I think this might have been a misunderstanding.
When he or she wrote: Yea bro I know that all. I wrote that but I just didnt copy here. I guess he or she meant that he/she knows about the addressing bit (you had mentioned it's best to address the person directly). And I actually think it's a good move to not include the name on here, if he/she was able to get hold of it.
YES! Thats it, im trying to say that! I only wanted to say that i know that i need to put adress on cover letter. Thats it.
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