I find it incredible. Me and my husband are thinking of going back to Italy. We've loved it here, and we still do. But we are missing some important things: friends and family are the first.
My parents are getting very old, they're on their 80s, and I cannot stand being far from them, not helping them and not seeing them whenever I want, when I know that we don't have much time left. And I love them so much...
Moreover, I believe we'll never integrate, doesn't matter our efforts. Language is a barrier: we're learning german, but still swiss german will be out of reach for a long time. And I'll never find a job here (my skills are writing and editing).
I cannot take a decision, there are so many positive arguments to stay here: quality of life is incomparable. We live in the woods, and it's so beautiful. Everything works and is easy, while in Italy almost nothing works (public transport, safety, etc...). We have a 3 years old child, and schools are much better here than in Italy. And so on...
I don't know, I cannot take a decision. Even because when we decided to come here, two years ago, we were so enthusiastic that we didn't think hard, and we probably missed a lot of points. I thought for instance that I could go and visit my parents much more easily: it is not so, airplane tickets are too expensive, and the flights are not so convenient, and splliting the family often (my husband here, me and our son in Italy) doesn't make sense.
So before taking a decision, what should I ponder this time?

(Sorry for my bad English, my son is playing around and I've not time to read again).

I feel for you. I'm going through the same thing; trying to decide if I should stay or go home - and it is so so hard!!

I'm sorry, I have no advice for you (I'm sure lots of other more experience people will have lots to say). I hope you can come up with something that will make you all happy soon!!

You have your answer.

Now another possibility : the swiss italian part.

I am in the same situation. Can't find a job although I am learning german and I miss my family, friends and the sea a lot. I don't know what I should do cos honestly, if it were not for my swiss bf who does not want to move away from here, I would have left months ago. Not cos I don't like Switzerland. It's a very nice place and has many advatages but after all, what matters most is happiness. I too am finding it hard to build a social life here and the lifestyle change for me is a very hard blow. Flights too expensive etc etc...

If I were you, I would take the suggestion of moving to the italian part of Switzerland. Italian is your mother tongue and you would be closer to Italy too, even though there are much more jkob offers closer to Zurich, Basel or Geneve.

Anyway,
good luck

Maybe I'm in the same boat as you are. Unlike you, though, my wife and I both have jobs, and overall, life has been good to us here. Yes, everything works, it is safe, and nowhere else in the world will we experience all the good things that we have experienced here.

But I have just returned from my first trip back to my home nation since moving here. It feels harder to come back to Switzerland this time, it seems. I miss my mom more now. I miss the life back home, even though it is definitely much harder there than here.

If it's any consolation, Italy is much, much closer to Switzerland than you think. Even though tickets are pricey, you have alternatives, such as the train (although it may be more expensive than taking the plane, sometimes).

Sorry I also have no advice for you, other than using your thread to also tell you that you're not alone. I hope you and your family will come to the right decision.

It is said "Home is where your heart is" and yours is obviously not in Switzerland.

Wish you all the best!!

Even though I have been here for almost 10 years, I still miss home
quite a bit. Luckily I have Facebook to keep up with friends. It
makes it a little easier.

I had that problem the first time I moved to Switzerland, if you leave it too late to decide it might leave you bitter, so act on what your heart tells you.

I left Switzerland for the holidays and went back to second home (The Netherlands) and I dreaded coming back. I decided to think why it was that I was so fearful and once I spotted it, I acted on it and now I am happier.
I understand though that you might not be able to act on it as I did (I had to talk to my boss about a few things) but i would recommend thinking what is it that bothers you and then see if you can do something about it.

Good luck!

A

Hi there!

Ultimately, you have to decide what are your priorities in life.

My husband and I have a nice life here: snowboarding, hiking, nice apartment, good salary, travel, etc. But, like you, we know we will never be able to integrate, and I think I know why. Just like someone else pointed out, home is where your heart is, and our hearts are not here.

We miss the social life we had in San Diego, family, and friends. My husband will most likely take a pay cut when we move back to California, but it's a sacrifice we're willing to make. This beautiful life we're living here is not worth missing out on the great life we had with our family and friends we left behind.

The people we love the most in the world, plain and simple, are not here. Family members who are more like friends and friends who became family - these people are what matter most to us and no mountain peak or salary is quite big enough to overshadow them.

All this to say, I suggest you follow your heart...

Best wishes to you and your family!

very well said, NYUMandy! I wish you and your husband all the best!

I left Switzerland on a whim - well actually not really, but have regretted it for the whole of the rest of my life. Do try to think very, very carefully [which is not easy] because you may find what you hanker for is no longer there. You have moved on, have experienced many new aspects of life, whereas the people and things you left behind have stayed put. Good luck anyway.

You can't buy happiness with a bigger salary. If you're think you'd be happier in Italy, go for it. And best of luck in any case.

My advice may look silly, but this is how I do when I am confused.

Take a piece of paper. Write down all your points like job, salary, happiness, family, education, travel and what ever you wish.

Give them marks like value at Italy and value at Switzerland. Check which has more (obviously Happiness will weigh more) marks and plan accordingly.

Good luck.

EDIT: East or West, Home is the Best

If your boyfriend is truly the one he will consider all options so you can both flourish and be happy. Happily married since 10 years I have seen too many woman following guys who only think of themselves! Its got to work both ways...dont you think??

That's pretty much what I was going to suggest... pros and cons. Every country has positive and negative aspects... you just need to figure out the pros and cons for you.
Also like someone else suggested. Maybe consider moving to the Italian part of Switzerland (how far is it to drive to your parents? is that even a possibility?) As much as you miss home, it sounds like you'll both really miss Switzerland too. Good luck!

I would say that if your parents live in the northern part of Italy you should move to Ticino and redouble your efforts to see them (possibly even every weekend). If they live too far for this, you should probably move back to Italy. In any case, that would be my thought process.

I might understand your feeling, or you might have different reasons than me to find "incredible" to go back to Italy. I know that we do like to complain a lot about Italy (I mean, us as Italians abroad), but for example you mention the school, I think we have very good schools in Italy. And health care is very good too.
Of course it depends a lot where in Italy you're going to live. But don't forget that you can always try to make a difference wherever you live. You can always try to get out of everywhere and everyone the best.. it takes effort and imagination, but I have seen friends going back to small villages and doing great stuff.
One day I want to go back too, I want to live by the sea, and I will try to bring some of the things I have learnt with me, to make it a better place.
Good luck with your decision!

I would agree with this statement but as you talk about flights would gather you are from the more South of Italy.
My Italian cousin has come from Trieste - Italy to stay at my house in the UK because there is no work in Italy and I think Italy is probably in a bigger mess than the UK and certainly worse than Switzerland is.

This is a difficult call regarding your parents and I would assume you have brothers and sisters that must live near them otherwise a suggestion could be that they move to Switzerland.

I wish you good luck and no matter what you decide, just stick to it, as I have seen friends who pondered for years, and now they can t quite feel at home anywhere..Sadly the guilt feeling of letting the family behind hold them back in finding a new home (a true home), but also moving back is out of questions, due to childrens school , mortgage and so on.
So, be quick..