Hi everyone, I moved to switzerland last month with my boyfriend as he was offered a job here. We are together for 4 years now, so we pretty much live like a married couple. I don't speak german so I don't find a job and I don't think I will find one any time soon. I don't have a permis yet, so I can't open a bank account. I don't see my life going anywhere, I feel like I totally depend on my boyfriend and that I'm useless. If he would leave me tomorrow I would have nothing. I stay home all day, doing nothing, I'm starting to go crazy. I left the country I was leaving in, my friends, my stability. Now I'm here, desperate, depressed. I forgot, one week after I arrived here, I got eye floaters, I don't know why, it's hard to deal with. The ophtalmologist I went to said he doesn't see anything wrong. But it depresses me even more.

Sign up for a German class? There are loads of possibilities in the city ranging from one evening a week to every morning. If you are a bit more confident in the language, maybe you will start to feel more in control of your life here.

Sometimes you have to grit your teeth and make a move.

Taking language lessons is very beneficial as you have the time. The Gemeinde might have some low cost lessons. It gives you a good reason to get out.

Hi. Thank for your answer, for now I can't do anything as we don't have enough money and everything is expensive here. Leaving your country to come to switzerland is not easy. I don't understand why everything is so expensive here...

Maybe this will help you giggle your way out of depression..
http://www.cracked.com/article_19363...-work-out.html
Don't forget most have been there, done that and gotten the scars, you are not alone.

If you have registered at the Gemeinde, then you should have a temporary paper that shows your registration - then you should be able to open a bank account.

If you are living together like a married couple, then I assume your partner is supporting you financially ? So, make sure you have a little budget for going out each day.

You need to get your hands on a zurich public transport pass - either a 'halbtax' for the year (150chf) plus a day swipe ticket or coins each day to buy a 24 hour zone 10 pass. Then you just get out and explore! Find your local library (join up, maybe 30chf or 50chf) - museums that are free, window shopping, set yourself some goals of things you need to find or see.

Somewhere near the local library is probably the local community centre - see what they have on offer. Take lots of information brochures home then use google translate to translate them from German to English, until you start to understand the language a bit.

Finding a job ? Yes, possible....if you aren't out there looking, you aren't going to find anything - do you have specialist skills, experience working with kids, what's your expertise ?

Give yourself time, get out in the sunshine (that will also help with the depression) and do as much as you can when the weather is warm, because winter is coming sooN!

If you want to meet up in/around Zurich over the summer, I do a shopping tour and I can set a date - I love to check out the second hand shops and the asian grocery stores to find new and interesting (and cheap) things...

what makes you happy ? Make sure you set out to do one thing that makes you happy each day, and then make plans with your partner to do stuff on the weekends. Try to take enjoyment from home stuff, cooking etc, so that these things are done during the time your partner is working, and then make sure he does stuff with you on the weekends/evenings that are fun for both partners - he's probably so busy trying to integrate into his new job that you seem worlds away, but if you want the relationship to work out, it always takes conscious effort...

i'm definitely not wanted here, it's not the first time I move to a different country, with a different language. It's the first time I feel like that.

Since I moved here in December of 2011 I try to always go to the German Conversation group at Stall 6 on Wednesday evening. If you are a beginner or have no experience with German, you can still come and meet people. I've met great people through that. German Conversation Group Zürich

t's easy to find things to do on those websites and meet others with similar interests. You just have to make the effort and put yourself out there. Not every meetup will be a success- a few times I've gone to something and realized "no, not for me" but it can't get you down. There are a lot of people in your situation so just network as best you can.

To add to this, the possibilities of meeting other people in the same boat are very high if you take up a German class.

You can then pal up, go for a coffee, and bitch and moan about how things are. You'll probably find you'll raise a laugh or two and start to feel better.

Got something others might need ? At GZ Wipkingen, there is a money-less bourse. You might get free lessons in exchange for something you can provide ( pet sitting, Italian lessons etc. ).

You also get to network with many people.

http://www.tauschenamfluss.ch/

http://wwv.gz-zh.ch/gz-wipkingen/gz-wipkingen/

Once you can communicate in a national language, you might wish to try Volunteering ( http://www.benevol.ch/ ).

Low cost DE lessons:

http://www.stadt-zuerich.ch/aoz/de/i...ml#contenttabs

CHF5 per lesson

Deutsch für Frauen - usually free to eligible women. Your Gemeinde might have it.

Schreibdienst - writing service. My city has it, and chances are yours too would.

It all tends to get worse in Winter and I sincerely hope you will prepare in advance to counter it where possible.

Thank I would really love to be a pet sitter as I really love dogs. I'll check this website. Thanks!

Sorry, you are going through a down point.. Maybe it will make you feel better to know there are and have been a bunch of trailing partners who stood up on their own feet. Give yourself some time, share with your partner so he can help, the language tip is also important. Also know that the expectation of being wanted here changes as you make your own territory and social network here.

I'd never leave my home country, particularly if it meant leaving a job, for a boyfriend as it leaves you in a bit of a legal limbo should things go pear-shaped. If he's awesome enough to jump geopolitical borders, he's awesome enough to marry. If that isn't happening, get a train ticket south ASAP. If you don't have your own money, get your family back home to wire you some for the ticket.

I've lived (happily) all over Europe, but I knew within a week that Zurich and me were not going to be together very long. I tried to put a shine on it and make the best of it but, within four months, I was certain enough to tell the other half that I was leaving at the end of the apartment lease with or without him. Thankfully, it all worked out but I can't say I really enjoyed the experience.

Switzerland isn't for everyone so, give it a try but follow your instincts and if you aren't happy (particularly about the boyfriend) head home and be happy.

Benvenuta!!! Ti capisco tanto, dopo 5 anni, ancora non mi sento integrata

Mod Note: Welcome! I understand you so much, after 5 years, I still do not feel integrated

There's a difference between a depression and being depressed. The first condition needs professional help and a lot of understanding from, in this case, your boyfriend. If you are 'simply' depressed as you say and find it so hard to be self-motivating - for that is the only subjective and positive answer in your case - then you must be unhappy about something that is outside yourself, something you have to be honest about to yourself. And that is what you have to deal with either as a first stage or completely.

I moved here with my partner. We've been together for nearly 5 years, but are not yet married.

I know she often feels the same way as you've described; she hates feeling dependent and we moved away from good friends and family. It's made her feel miserable at times.

I also know this because she tells me. And she also tells me exactly what she expects us to do about it.

Because we have children, it's forced us to meet and talk to others and with small steps we are making friendships and after almost a year, her feelings are changing.

Although integrating and learning french is important to her, she's put equal effort to keeping existing friendships, which seems to help. Skype has been our friend.

you've been here only one month!!!
Sorry to say, but there are people in your similar situation, for 2 years or more.
Well, you have to get out, sit on the net a bit, there are so many meetups, which cost you nothing, you may have to carry a beer at the most.
Go for walks, with groups of people, cycle rides(all free).If you search a bit, quite a few people give away their cycles for nothing, you could pick up one.
sit on the net a bit and explore.
check
the Ef events
Zurich things to do
Search for an expat club/group in Zurich
If you're from Italy, google-search Italians in Zurich

Be positive, dude!! you've been here only a month, give it a chance.
Atleast you arrived here in Summer. make use of it.
Winters are the pits.


Be positive, smile a bit
My love and best wishes to you!!

Ciao from a fellow Italian!

Sorry to hear you're in a rough spot. Sooner or later, it happens to all of us who are far away from our country, and certainly plenty of people on this forum.

You have already received a lot of excellent tips from other members on the thread, so I won't repeat what they said. I will say that you have two options, one is to continue feeling miserable, the other to take control. By this I mean that you have to create a life for yourself independently of your boyfriend, which ultimately will complement your life together. If you are an unhappy person, you make an unhappy partner, and an unhappy part of society. You OWE yourself to be happy.

Start simple: first, figure out exactly your legal standing in the country. Are you registered with your commune (gemeinde)? What is your visa/ permit? This is the primary thing you have to worry about. When you register at the gemeinde, they give you a lot of information about the city, all the people I met spoke English, but in any case, they have the information in a variety of languages, including Italian - which, don't forget, is one of the national languages in Switzerland.

Second, take care of your health. As a resident of Switzerland, you are required to undertake health insurance, as they will tell you at the gemeinde. Make sure to shop around and check sites like comparis.ch, which has also an option to see the info in Italian, for rates. This is mandatory, so make sure you take care of it. Second, regarding your eye issue, if you are dissatisfied with the answer you got from the ophtalmologist, seek a second opinion. Do you have a general practitioner/family doctor who can make a referral? I've had my share of eye-related issues this year (luckily all ended up well), so if you need a recommendation for a family practice and eye doctors, PM me and I can share them with you. They all speak excellent English, and also a variety of other languages.

Third: your qualifications. What are they? You need to figure out how your skills and qualifications match the demand of employers in Switzerland. Be specific and keep track of all the things you've done so far, the Swiss like diplomas and certifications and a complete history of your past academic/professional steps. The language is important, true, but I have found out that the more specific/in demand your skills are, the more the language requirement becomes secondary. I didn't say irrelevant, mind you - I don't want to discourage you, but if your skills are generic (or you present them as such) you are competing with a potential pool of hundreds of candidates who, in addition, have German as a skill. Be specific and "sell your profile"!

Fourth: while you do 3, try to learn the language. This is fundamental in my opinion if you want to survive happily - you'll find many people who tell you learning German is not necessary, but they usually fall in the category of "I have very specific, in demand skills, I already came with a job offer, and I am here temporarily anyway". Start with online material - plenty of it - and join the German Conversation Group on Wednesday night at Stall 6, as someone else already mentioned. It is free, you can have a drink if you want to, but by no means mandatory. Come along as soon as possible and don't be afraid! We learners are all in the same boat, we were all beginners once! When I joined, I basically listened only for the first month or so. Then, gradually, I began speaking, and the improvement has been very good Check out courses at Migros, use google to find lower cost options if money is tight. Ask on EF if someone is willing to lend you some German learning material that they don't use anymore. You said you are bored at home, I say you have the luxury of time - make use of it to your advantage.

Fifth: you need to get out, and it doesn't need to cost a lot of money. Yes, Zurich is expensive, but that's what it is and it's not going to change. Make an investment in the Halbtax, and explore the city. Kreis 4 and 5 are a gold mine with regards to cheap grocery stores from all over the world, also excellent for windows shopping. Parks are free, and so are mountains and the lakeside. Come to the Viadukt Markthalle on Thursday evenings, Mike at the British Cheese Center is an awesome guy who can tell you all about British cheese, and there are always a few of us around on Thursday to share some laughs. If you like books, join us at the Zurich Book Club, we meet about once a month and it's also free, next meeting is in early September (due to people being on holiday) and we are reading "Il Gattopardo". Use spudorately the social calendar of this forum to find out events that meet your tastes. Did I say "get out there" yet???

Regarding your comment that you feel unwanted, don't trick yourself into thinking that, and if someone tells you so, get your head up and tell them that you're here to stay, you're trying hard, and you'll pretty darn well make it, whether they like it or not.

Good luck, don't give up! And if after a while you've tried all the above and you're still unhappy, take the courage to explore alternative solutions - but don't give up without giving it a try first. It takes time, but it's not impossible. See you soon at the conversation group!

Very good post, BokerTov!

I have learned basic German, enough to make me feel more like I belong, simply by going through German courses in books and reading and listening to on line German language courses.
I downloaded some of the lessons onto my MP3 player and listen to them while I am out running and doing the housework.
Give it a go, you will feel so much better when you can begin communicating.

Try this..

http://www.dw.de/dw/0,,2547,00.html