Go Back   English Forum Switzerland > Help & tips > Other/general
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 18.05.2015, 23:57
Newbie 1st class
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: aargau
Posts: 19
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts
is1107 has no particular reputation at present
neighbo above complaining abt child

hey All.
i am writing asking for tips and suggestions. my neighbor above us is making me crazy. her complain us my child cries all day and she cant work, sleep etc etc.
all the more she stamps on the floor and makes me mad while i am trying to pacify a child who had a bad dream or is in pain due to teething.

i am really annoyed with her and would appreciate expert advice.


please asap
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 19.05.2015, 01:30
st2lemans's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Lugano
Posts: 18,139
Groaned at 927 Times in 723 Posts
Thanked 19,714 Times in 9,477 Posts
st2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond repute
Re: neighbo above complaining abt child

Quote:
View Post
hey All.
i am writing asking for tips and suggestions. my neighbor above us is making me crazy. her complain us my child cries all day and she cant work, sleep etc etc.
all the more she stamps on the floor and makes me mad while i am trying to pacify a child who had a bad dream or is in pain due to teething.

i am really annoyed with her and would appreciate expert advice.


please asap
Tell her to off.

Tom
Reply With Quote
The following 9 users would like to thank st2lemans for this useful post:
  #3  
Old 19.05.2015, 08:37
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Zurich
Posts: 4,652
Groaned at 152 Times in 118 Posts
Thanked 9,570 Times in 3,219 Posts
k_and_e has a reputation beyond reputek_and_e has a reputation beyond reputek_and_e has a reputation beyond reputek_and_e has a reputation beyond reputek_and_e has a reputation beyond reputek_and_e has a reputation beyond repute
Re: neighbo above complaining abt child

Quote:
View Post
Tell her to off.

Tom
Agree.
People that cannot handle that shouldn't live in an apartment building.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 19.05.2015, 08:42
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Geneva
Posts: 1,069
Groaned at 15 Times in 12 Posts
Thanked 1,259 Times in 554 Posts
neddy has an excellent reputationneddy has an excellent reputationneddy has an excellent reputationneddy has an excellent reputation
Re: neighbo above complaining abt child

Bon Jovi might help. When my kids were making a racket in the car, I put Bon Jovi on rather loud. They knew they couldn't compete with that noise so shut up.
Reply With Quote
The following 5 users would like to thank neddy for this useful post:
  #5  
Old 19.05.2015, 08:49
TiMow's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Fribourg
Posts: 9,310
Groaned at 292 Times in 196 Posts
Thanked 12,189 Times in 5,300 Posts
TiMow has a reputation beyond reputeTiMow has a reputation beyond reputeTiMow has a reputation beyond reputeTiMow has a reputation beyond reputeTiMow has a reputation beyond reputeTiMow has a reputation beyond repute
Re: neighbo above complaining abt child

Just say: "I hope your parents had nicer neighbours when you were a baby/child, because all babies/children cry".

To add to the loud music suggestion - if it's quite a young child (baby), then 'white noise' can help (thats when a radio tuner is between stations and just makes a hissing noise).
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank TiMow for this useful post:
  #6  
Old 19.05.2015, 09:10
dodgyken's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Democratic Republic Kenistan
Posts: 9,821
Groaned at 340 Times in 276 Posts
Thanked 17,462 Times in 6,672 Posts
dodgyken has a reputation beyond reputedodgyken has a reputation beyond reputedodgyken has a reputation beyond reputedodgyken has a reputation beyond reputedodgyken has a reputation beyond reputedodgyken has a reputation beyond repute
Re: neighbo above complaining abt child

Quote:
View Post
hey All.
i am writing asking for tips and suggestions. my neighbor above us is making me crazy. her complain us my child cries all day and she cant work, sleep etc etc.
Quote:
View Post
Just say: "I hope your parents had nicer neighbours when you were a baby/child, because all babies/children cry".
I'd say the "all day" bit being the key here - does the baby actually cry all day? or does the woman complain it does when it doesn't?

While away last week staying in an apartment we suffered the annoyance of having children in the apartment above us doing impressions of baby elephants.

You'd have boom boom boom boom for 20mins as they ran around chasing ghosts - then a bump - following by a ow you hit/pushed me - followed naturally by blaarggh blaarggh blaarggh - finally followed by 10mins of peach and quiet while one child was comforted and the other admonished.

And then repeat.
__________________
"Don't believe everything you read on the internet" Abraham Lincoln
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 19.05.2015, 09:25
Jern's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Bern
Posts: 907
Groaned at 11 Times in 10 Posts
Thanked 1,091 Times in 470 Posts
Jern has a reputation beyond reputeJern has a reputation beyond reputeJern has a reputation beyond reputeJern has a reputation beyond repute
Re: neighbo above complaining abt child

You are not making the noise. The baby is making the noise, and the baby is not responsible for its actions.

By contrast, the neighbour is responsible for her actions. If she deliberately stamps on the floor, then this is antisocial behaviour and would be grounds for a formal complaint.

However, it would probably best to ignore her stamping if you can. Firstly in the interests of good Swiss-style neighbourly relations, and secondly because if she thinks you're not bothered by it, she may stop anyway.
Reply With Quote
The following 4 users would like to thank Jern for this useful post:
  #8  
Old 19.05.2015, 09:34
MathNut's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Kt. Glarus
Posts: 4,234
Groaned at 35 Times in 33 Posts
Thanked 9,967 Times in 3,070 Posts
MathNut has a reputation beyond reputeMathNut has a reputation beyond reputeMathNut has a reputation beyond reputeMathNut has a reputation beyond reputeMathNut has a reputation beyond reputeMathNut has a reputation beyond repute
Re: neighbo above complaining abt child

Quote:
View Post
hey All.
i am writing asking for tips and suggestions. my neighbor above us is making me crazy. her complain us my child cries all day and she cant work, sleep etc etc.
all the more she stamps on the floor and makes me mad while i am trying to pacify a child who had a bad dream or is in pain due to teething.

i am really annoyed with her and would appreciate expert advice.


please asap
If she complains about it in person - take a deep breath, smile, and tell her, "wir waren alle mal so." (All of us were babies once)

If she carries on complaining after that, repeat as necessary. "Sie ist ein Baby. Sie weint, wenn ihr nicht wohl ist. Wir waren alle mal so."
(or if your baby is a boy: "Er ist ein Baby. Er weint, wenn ihm nicht wohl ist. Wir waren" etc.)

It's great when people realize this without being told but it sounds like your neighbor may need a reminder. Babies do cry sometimes, because they are babies and that's what they do.

The floor-stomping is harder to deal with. Your baby's cry is louder and more disturbing to you than it could ever be for her so I am really not sure why she feels the need to alert you by stamping on the floor - does she think you somehow haven't noticed?? Grr. You have my sympathy. Really the only thing you can do in such moments is ignore it and focus on helping your baby.
__________________
Need help? Contact a mod.

Reply With Quote
The following 9 users would like to thank MathNut for this useful post:
  #9  
Old 19.05.2015, 10:20
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Zürich
Posts: 160
Groaned at 2 Times in 2 Posts
Thanked 160 Times in 78 Posts
scipio has made some interesting contributions
Re: neighbo above complaining abt child

Quote:
View Post
If she complains about it in person - take a deep breath, smile, and tell her, "wir waren alle mal so." (All of us were babies once)

If she carries on complaining after that, repeat as necessary. "Sie ist ein Baby. Sie weint, wenn ihr nicht wohl ist. Wir waren alle mal so."
(or if your baby is a boy: "Er ist ein Baby. Er weint, wenn ihm nicht wohl ist. Wir waren" etc.)

It's great when people realize this without being told but it sounds like your neighbor may need a reminder. Babies do cry sometimes, because they are babies and that's what they do.

The floor-stomping is harder to deal with. Your baby's cry is louder and more disturbing to you than it could ever be for her so I am really not sure why she feels the need to alert you by stamping on the floor - does she think you somehow haven't noticed?? Grr. You have my sympathy. Really the only thing you can do in such moments is ignore it and focus on helping your baby.
How about something along the lines "Es tut mir leid, ich kann verstehen dass Sie sich gestört fühlen. Aber es ist ein Baby, es weint wenn es sich nicht wohl fühlt etc" (I'm sorry, I do understand that you feel disturbed. But it is a baby etc.)

In my opinion you will achieve more if you show that you actually care about your neighbors.
Reply With Quote
The following 6 users would like to thank scipio for this useful post:
  #10  
Old 19.05.2015, 11:07
MsWorWoo's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Zürich Nord
Posts: 1,484
Groaned at 47 Times in 27 Posts
Thanked 2,214 Times in 866 Posts
MsWorWoo has a reputation beyond reputeMsWorWoo has a reputation beyond reputeMsWorWoo has a reputation beyond reputeMsWorWoo has a reputation beyond reputeMsWorWoo has a reputation beyond reputeMsWorWoo has a reputation beyond repute
Re: neighbo above complaining abt child

I would point out that her stamping on the floor is counterproductive because it stops the child calming and therefore makes her/him cry longer and louder.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank MsWorWoo for this useful post:
  #11  
Old 19.05.2015, 11:09
olygirl's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: d' Innerschwiiz
Posts: 5,062
Groaned at 225 Times in 148 Posts
Thanked 10,872 Times in 3,321 Posts
olygirl has a reputation beyond reputeolygirl has a reputation beyond reputeolygirl has a reputation beyond reputeolygirl has a reputation beyond reputeolygirl has a reputation beyond reputeolygirl has a reputation beyond repute
Re: neighbo above complaining abt child

Ask her to babysit.
Reply With Quote
The following 8 users would like to thank olygirl for this useful post:
  #12  
Old 19.05.2015, 11:16
Sbrinz's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Murten - Morat
Posts: 10,969
Groaned at 542 Times in 342 Posts
Thanked 10,573 Times in 5,408 Posts
Sbrinz has a reputation beyond reputeSbrinz has a reputation beyond reputeSbrinz has a reputation beyond reputeSbrinz has a reputation beyond reputeSbrinz has a reputation beyond reputeSbrinz has a reputation beyond repute
Re: neighbo above complaining abt child

The neighbour needs to understand that she cannot complain about noise made by babies.

I would write her a nice pleasant letter asking her to be reasonable, that you treat your baby well, but it still complains loudly. Perhaps ask her to visit the Gemeinde / Commune and complain about the noise there, where you are sure she would receive some good advice on what to do next.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 19.05.2015, 11:46
newtoswitz's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Rapperswil
Posts: 1,158
Groaned at 15 Times in 13 Posts
Thanked 1,310 Times in 596 Posts
newtoswitz has a reputation beyond reputenewtoswitz has a reputation beyond reputenewtoswitz has a reputation beyond reputenewtoswitz has a reputation beyond repute
Re: neighbo above complaining abt child

Ask her what she would do.

If she can't make a decent suggestion then maybe she'll realise it's not as simple as an on-off switch and learn some empathy.

Or go for a walk with the pram/buggy - we found that was the only way to survive our somewhat challenging first baby, which also take the noise away.
Reply With Quote
The following 4 users would like to thank newtoswitz for this useful post:
  #14  
Old 19.05.2015, 11:53
Castro's Avatar
à la mod
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Basel-Land of Smiles
Posts: 4,772
Groaned at 91 Times in 73 Posts
Thanked 12,711 Times in 4,143 Posts
Castro has a reputation beyond reputeCastro has a reputation beyond reputeCastro has a reputation beyond reputeCastro has a reputation beyond reputeCastro has a reputation beyond reputeCastro has a reputation beyond repute
Re: neighbo above complaining abt child

Quote:
View Post
Agree.
People that cannot handle that shouldn't live in an apartment building.
Similarly passengers who roll their eyes or huff and puff when a baby cries should travel by private jet. I actually said as much to some stupid lady who was giving me evil stares as I was desperately trying to console my kid
Reply With Quote
The following 8 users would like to thank Castro for this useful post:
  #15  
Old 19.05.2015, 12:36
Sbrinz's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Murten - Morat
Posts: 10,969
Groaned at 542 Times in 342 Posts
Thanked 10,573 Times in 5,408 Posts
Sbrinz has a reputation beyond reputeSbrinz has a reputation beyond reputeSbrinz has a reputation beyond reputeSbrinz has a reputation beyond reputeSbrinz has a reputation beyond reputeSbrinz has a reputation beyond repute
Re: neighbo above complaining abt child

Neighboor complaint for crying baby
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 19.05.2015, 13:25
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Ostschweiz
Posts: 3,039
Groaned at 99 Times in 79 Posts
Thanked 3,774 Times in 1,950 Posts
Urs Max has a reputation beyond reputeUrs Max has a reputation beyond reputeUrs Max has a reputation beyond reputeUrs Max has a reputation beyond reputeUrs Max has a reputation beyond reputeUrs Max has a reputation beyond repute
Re: neighbo above complaining abt child

I find it ironic that you complain about your neighbor above you stomping his feet (essentially, making noise) after he got angered by your childs noise. Mind you, I'm not judging, it's merely an observation.

Contrary to what many here say, it's far from clear cut, and there's no such thing as "it's the law, live with it" in such cases. Telling your neighbor to put up with the troubles probably is the worst possible (in-)action.

Dialogue is key, perhaps some middle ground can be found. Did you try?
Reply With Quote
The following 4 users would like to thank Urs Max for this useful post:
The following 3 users groan at Urs Max for this post:
  #17  
Old 19.05.2015, 13:28
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Zurich
Posts: 121
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 179 Times in 62 Posts
amy123 is considered knowledgeableamy123 is considered knowledgeableamy123 is considered knowledgeable
Re: neighbo above complaining abt child

Quote:
View Post
If she complains about it in person - take a deep breath, smile, and tell her, "wir waren alle mal so." (All of us were babies once)
Personally, I find this argument meaningless and irritating.

I was a baby once, agreed. I was a child once, agreed. And I probably cried and ran around screaming and jumping and talking and laughing loudly non-stop... because that's what children do. They are what they are.

But it is parents who control to whom/what/where their children are exposed. They don't have the right to impose their children on anyone, anywhere, without consequence.

That said, I think the OP's neighbour is in the wrong. But the correct rebuttal to any complaints is: "Babies cry. It is an unintentional, human noise (as opposed to foot stamping). There is a limit to how much it can be controlled. If you have a problem with the noise, it is an issue with the poor construction of the building, not with me. Please take the matter up with the building owner."
Reply With Quote
The following 4 users would like to thank amy123 for this useful post:
  #18  
Old 19.05.2015, 14:14
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Zürich
Posts: 160
Groaned at 2 Times in 2 Posts
Thanked 160 Times in 78 Posts
scipio has made some interesting contributions
Re: neighbo above complaining abt child

Quote:
View Post
That said, I think the OP's neighbour is in the wrong. But the correct rebuttal to any complaints is: "Babies cry. It is an unintentional, human noise (as opposed to foot stamping). There is a limit to how much it can be controlled. If you have a problem with the noise, it is an issue with the poor construction of the building, not with me. Please take the matter up with the building owner."
Are you sure that showing zero understanding for your neighbors complaints will lead to a happy and pleasant living situation?

Living in an apartment building requires tolerance and respect, just saying "it's your problem, f*** off" most likely will not help to cool down a heated argument.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank scipio for this useful post:
  #19  
Old 19.05.2015, 14:27
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Zurich
Posts: 121
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 179 Times in 62 Posts
amy123 is considered knowledgeableamy123 is considered knowledgeableamy123 is considered knowledgeable
Re: neighbo above complaining abt child

Quote:
View Post
Are you sure that showing zero understanding for your neighbors complaints will lead to a happy and pleasant living situation?

Living in an apartment building requires tolerance and respect, just saying "it's your problem, f*** off" most likely will not help to cool down a heated argument.
Yes, you are probably right. But "we were all babies once" is, I think, a much worse way to say "f*** off, its your problem not mine" and also fails to address the real cause of the problem.

What can a person reasonably do in this situation?

I suppose it it were me, I would make the argument I stated above. But I would also attempt to sound-proof the baby's room by lining the walls and ceiling with high density foam. And I would look to move to an apartment with decent construction so I could live in peace without being paranoid that I was pissing off my neighbours.
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 19.05.2015, 14:39
Jern's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Bern
Posts: 907
Groaned at 11 Times in 10 Posts
Thanked 1,091 Times in 470 Posts
Jern has a reputation beyond reputeJern has a reputation beyond reputeJern has a reputation beyond reputeJern has a reputation beyond repute
Re: neighbo above complaining abt child

Quote:
View Post
I would look to move to an apartment with decent construction so I could live in peace without being paranoid that I was pissing off my neighbours.
This is a wind-up, surely?
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank Jern for this useful post:
Reply




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Thinking abt launching a society for newbies in Switzerland...for Filipinos(?) pinayinswiss Introductions 11 23.01.2015 00:20
Expats complaining! colinwheeler Complaints corner 245 03.01.2013 19:28
What do you think abt the Swiss education system... Swissky Family matters/health 3 21.03.2009 00:17
Complaining about... shari Complaints corner 8 18.11.2006 23:02


All times are GMT +2. The time now is 04:08.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0