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Old 24.02.2016, 23:48
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I need a cat

(Warning: Long and rambling post ahead)

I say this even though I have two cats in my apartment. My husband and I adopted two kittens (separately) when they were about 3-4 months old. As I've had cats my entire adult life, I was happy to have a couple of furballs in my life again

But the problem is their sociability: we rarely see them. They are indoor-only cats due to where we live, but for the most part, they sleep off in other areas of the apartment. One might sit on the back of the couch for about five minutes before wandering off again. The other one will cuddle under the covers for about five minutes before wandering off. They are difficult to play with - this is hard to explain. They will sometimes play with each other, but that is about the extent of their social interactions.

So the point of this post? I'm sad and frustrated. I adopted my cats so that I could enjoy some cuddling on the couch, or a lap cat, or someone to sleep on the bed with me. But I am tempted instead to adopt a 3rd can in the hopes that this will be the one to fulfil those needs.

That being said, I hate the idea of adopting another cat and possibly pushing the current cats even further from us. Instead, I am hoping that with age (they are about 3 years old now) they will come to recognize the warmth and comfort of being with us.

Blah, blah, blah...

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Old 24.02.2016, 23:50
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Re: I need a cat

Oh dear. It sounds like you need a dog!
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Old 25.02.2016, 00:03
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Re: I need a cat

Try feeding them less, or more accurately only after they interact with you. This might backfire in that they then interact with you while you are trying to sleep, but cats are like that.
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Old 25.02.2016, 00:13
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Re: I need a cat

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I'm sad and frustrated
The cats too probably, if they've not been out of the apartment for three years ... maybe that's why they don't like you
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Old 25.02.2016, 08:02
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Re: I need a cat

Cats were not invented to play with humans or sleep on their bed. Their job is to keep the mice population under control.

Get yourself a persian cat. They don't know anything about mice.
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Old 25.02.2016, 09:07
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Re: I need a cat

How much effort have you put into playing with them, fussing them, etc, since they were little? What circumstances did you adopt them under, i.e. were they rescues or from a loving family home? Are you home all day, do you talk to them? Okay I know that sounds silly, but cats do recognise voices and some words. I talked to mine all the time. They were rescues, but came to know me partly through my talking to them a lot.
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Old 25.02.2016, 09:23
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Re: I need a cat

I couldnt find you a picture of a young bahamian man covered in cats, he goes in to brush them and they mob him for attention. But heres an older guy who is being loved on by the cats at the bahamas humane society. so here is picture proof its possible to find a cat that fulfils its cat duties properly.

you might have to go to the bahamas to get one though


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failing that this problem may be solved by your other half cuddling you more.
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Old 25.02.2016, 09:43
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Re: I need a cat

Don't get a third cat. In my experience (sample size n=1), adding a third cat to an established pair was a disaster; the other two hated him and ganged up on him all the time. I had to give the third cat away after a few months.

Again in my experience only, cats become more affectionate and clingy with age. One of my cats is now 16 years old and I've watched him change quite a lot over that time; whereas he used to be quite aloof, he's now very cuddly and has turned into more of a lapcat. He was the main problem when I introduced that third kitten years ago; now, we've just acquired a new kitten and a puppy, and the old boy is tolerating both quite well.
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Old 25.02.2016, 10:55
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Re: I need a cat

I agree with 22 Yards, they change a lot with age. In the evening by us, when we switch the TV on, the 4 younger cats head for the cat flap and the 8 older cats rush for a place on the TV chairs. (they are all rescue cats)
I could send you a few "Bed warmers" if you want.
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Old 25.02.2016, 11:08
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Re: I need a cat

My cats were all fairly aloof when they were younger. Now that they are older they are lap cats always up for a cuddle. I would say give them time rather than adding a third into the mix. When we got our third we had endless problems with fighting, which only stopped when one of my older cats sadly passed away.
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Old 25.02.2016, 11:13
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Re: I need a cat

Our current cat is 22 years old We thought she was about 17- but we went through dates with daughters last week-end, we were shocked to find out she is so old- and perhaps older as she was an adult when adopted)... she loves us dearly- but she is the only cat who has never wanted to sit on our lap for hours and days or sleep on our bed. She had a terrible start in life, found in a taped cardboard box by a UK Motorway, with another female and 10 kittens.

I'm afraid we adopt cats on their own terms- they own us, not the other way round- and all the cats I've had since I was a child have all been so so different in character- and amazingly so- all mongrels, all rescues.

I'd love Pudding to come and sit on my lap for longer- but Pudding is Pudding, and its her choice and we will always respect that.

Last edited by Odile; 25.02.2016 at 11:53.
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Old 25.02.2016, 11:16
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Re: I need a cat

This really sounds like deeper version of being Switzerlanded!


It's the pet owner's version of "why is it hard to make friends in Switzerland".
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Old 25.02.2016, 11:22
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Re: I need a cat

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Don't get a third cat. In my experience (sample size n=1), adding a third cat to an established pair was a disaster; the other two hated him and ganged up on him all the time. I had to give the third cat away after a few months.
That may depend on the kittens age. If it's young enough to trigger the "parent" instinct some unusual stuff may happen, even a dog adopting a kitten.
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Old 25.02.2016, 11:22
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Re: I need a cat

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I agree with 22 Yards, they change a lot with age. In the evening by us, when we switch the TV on, the 4 younger cats head for the cat flap and the 8 older cats rush for a place on the TV chairs. (they are all rescue cats)
I could send you a few "Bed warmers" if you want.
Wonderful picture BigM- looks like there is space for a few more - now about the spychology of cats- why has none taken up the best place in the middle?
Hope you have a comfy spare room or settee- where do YOU sleep x
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Old 25.02.2016, 11:45
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Re: I need a cat

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Wonderful picture BigM- looks like there is space for a few more - now about the spychology of cats- why has none taken up the best place in the middle?
Hope you have a comfy spare room or settee- where do YOU sleep x
I suspect that BigM might be the lump in the middle, which would also explain the cat distribution.
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Old 25.02.2016, 11:54
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Re: I need a cat

You've obvioulsy never met Big M- have you?
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Old 25.02.2016, 13:52
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Re: I need a cat

I admit that my post was mostly a late-night ramble brought about when my husband asked (not for the first time) where the cats were... To be honest, if I got another cat it would because I wanted another cat (I used to have four). I love having a house full of kitties, and mine where always so big and attentive and cuddly, it made it seem like I actually had more than four


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How much effort have you put into playing with them, fussing them, etc, since they were little? What circumstances did you adopt them under, i.e. were they rescues or from a loving family home? Are you home all day, do you talk to them? Okay I know that sounds silly, but cats do recognise voices and some words. I talked to mine all the time. They were rescues, but came to know me partly through my talking to them a lot.
Just to answer your question:

Coco was found at the side of the road near Zurich when she was quite young. The woman who adopted her had her just long enough for her two young boys to get attached - and to show that they were allergic to cats.

Sprocket was adopted from a tierheim in Germany. I don't know her background, but I suspect that she was part of a "found litter". They estimated her age to be about 3 months.


Anyone who knows me, knows that I love my cats. I play with them, pet them, talk to them constantly. They are my family. I once adopted a feral cat and it took three months before I could pet him. But with time and patience, he came around (and really came into his own once he was the only cat). I am seeing slight improvement in my two girls as they age, and believe (hope) that they will eventually recognize that the couch and lap are great places to hang out.


And because we all like pictures, here are a couple of shots of my previous cats


Pookie and Becca



Jimmy


Ellie


Dante - the feral cat, high on catnip


Sassy


As you can see, I am used to big, furry cats. That is another difference I'm still trying to get used to!
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Old 25.02.2016, 15:52
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Re: I need a cat

I think they'll get there, just give them time - and by time I'm talking a few more years possibly. Our last two were rescues and it took ages for them to get used to my OH as he was out at work all day and then later working away from home all week. Even at 3 they're still young and laps/cuddles aren't that high on their wish list yet. Give a brush a try, my two enjoyed a brushing (when I remembered to give them one ) and that might encourage them to join you more often.

But as Odile says, cats are cats and they do as they please. Not all enjoy company. If that turns out to be the case with your two, remember they still love you in their own way.
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Old 25.02.2016, 16:07
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Re: I need a cat

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But as Odile says, cats are cats and they do as they please.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RG5mOd8Ubsk
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Old 25.02.2016, 19:49
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Re: I need a cat

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...remember they still love you in their own way.
And they do!

I probably painted quite the "doom and gloom" scene, but they are good cats. They greet me when I get home and Coco has a wonderful chirp and roll that she does when she gets excited. Neither cat likes to be pet much, but we manage to get them when they're in the mood for it once in a while.
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