OK, a while back, I confessed my desire to look like a young dude whilst out driving and asked about the availability of "Tribals" for my cars rear window. Imagine how embarrassed I am to find that they are not cool at all anymore

Lately I have noticed many of the young dudes are now driving around with made up number plate thingies on the dashboards by their front windscreens. I must get one now, before they become uncool. Where can I buy one? It seems to me that you buy the black plate and then all of the letters, funnily enough though, it doesn't matter what letters one uses or the order of letters, as they all seem to read TOSSER. These must be one of the most useful additions any motorist can have as you can take it from vehicle to vehicle and everyone can see in an instant that you are a complete tosser.

You're not from Tunbridge Wells are you?

Surely, you mean ROYAL Tunbridge Wells.

Surely W@NKER would be more original??

Wot's a wonker?

Second cousin to TW@NKER, of course.

Really, Mr Brightonite, I'm often surprised how quickly your threads degenerate into a rude-word fest. How quickly did "Swiss Hygiene" go down the plughole?? Cheddar cheese to knob cheese??

I ask you!!

Ah! The innocence? Re-arrange the following words into a well known phrase or saying. melt butter arse wouldn't her up.

@RSE! That's it!
You could try that in your windscreen, Brighty!!

Arse in the windscreen, is a common sight when I walk my doggies at night around here. Is that dogging?

You are just SO rude!!
(I bet you have a right good look as you walk past......)

I am so sorry, any Mods checking in. My thread about a serious motoring matter seems to have been hijacked by innuendo upon innuendo. Now, somebody please, where can I buy my own personal windscreen number plate. Also, I will now have to buy three or four sets of letters as I have received some good suggestions, which of course I will have to try out. Can I buy just the individual letters that I need, or do I have to buy full sets.

Splash out on the full set, dear.
Because you're worth it!!

Just an opinion, but I get the feeling that some people log into this forum to learn new words, whilst those posting are then elated when they get to explain the intricacies of some weird deviancy or hard core "don't try this at home, I used to be on Kung Fu in the 1970s" pastime.

Now what was the question again? Let me see if i can help.....

Are you meaning the sun visor style name thingy?

with names like [Wayne Kersty] ?

No, maybe the kids round your way don't have them. Here they just lay them ontop of their dashboard so that they can be seen through the window. Who's Wayne Kerr? Maybe it was him that I saw and not TOSSER?

More likely "Rogan" and "Chardonnay" nowadays.

You should get yourself one of those programmable LED signs instead... so you can show the right word at the right moment.

Right got it now! Doh! My brother was bought one years ago for a laugh, his name is George but his wife didn't like the Dragon half, so he couldn't use it. Green and white, weren't they!

I feel a Michael Douglas moment coming on.... MESSAGE READS How's my driving? Dial 1 800 eat sh1t.....

BRILLIANT! I'd definitely be beaten up or arrested if I had one though.