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Old 15.03.2011, 10:16
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Fidgety Fidgety is offline
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Re: How is life in Switzerland as a single mother?

I feel for you, this was me 4 years ago.

I am single mother but from the UK.

I know that this is and incredibly emotional time, not only are you dealing with the separation from the father, the imminent birth of your child and no doubt you are probably scared and frightened about the future. Too much stress to deal with at the wrong time.

You really need to assess what it is you want, and do it soon! Do you want to go home and be around your family and have their support, it's incredibly difficult if you are completely alone here and the father is not wanting to know, especially for the first few months. You are not going to be very employable for the first few months anyway as baby is completely dependent upon you.

What are you going to do for money?
Are you entitled to anything from the Swiss system?
Would you be better off in another EU country, France, Germany etc?
Is the father reliable and wanting to know the child after it's born?
Can you trust him?

At the moment you can make all the decisions about your future, before the baby is born! Once the baby is born then it's not so easy. I am not aware of the Swiss laws but in the UK the father can apply for parental responsibility and once awarded if you are not in an amicable relationship then it can be used as a power tool.

In the UK for instance, once the father is included on the birth certificate, he has equal rights to you, Married or not, it does not matter. In my case we were also not married, but I included him on the birth certificate. After all he is the father. He did not contribute to the child at all! He could afford it, he just didn't. I had to give up my job to raise our child and was living on state benefits for the beginning. This was a future I did not want for our child, so I got a job here in Switzerland. But I could not just move!! I had to apply to the courts to get permission to move with our child to another country. This cost me 10,000! I won the case and I am now here!

You say you want free movement, however you also need to consider the child. If the father is reliable and trustworthy and is really keen to be part of the child's life, then you should perhaps sit and discuss with him, soon, how things are going to be after the birth and what role he wants to play and also the financial side and his contributions.

If they are not so good and he is not reliable and wanting a role you need to make some choices, soon, because as I said before, it could be very difficult for you to move in perhaps a year's time.

If you can get things clear in your mind before the birth, then you can relax and give the attention you need to yourself and your new baby, otherwise these things can drag on.

You will survive, of course you will, your child will be the best thing in your life, it won't be easy but you will get there. Good luck!!

Last edited by Fidgety; 15.03.2011 at 10:26.
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