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Old 08.10.2007, 20:19
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Re: 25 signs you have grown up

Twenty-five Signs You Have Grown Up


By: Salma Rumman
1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.Nope, household plants are dead. Even the ones I can smoke (managed to kill a cactus once).

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. Nope. Will take anything I can get.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. You've got to be joking?

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed. Nup. Mind you, it is taking me a little longer to recover.

5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator. Um every now and then. But that is more a representation of my taste in music Still love a bit of doof doof though

6. You watch the Weather Channel. Yes, but not for the weather

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of “hook up” and “breakup.” Indeed. That is why I moved to the other side of the world.

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14. Um, no. Au contriare. Switzerland is awesome in that way

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up.” I consider that formal. Normally it is tracky dacks and flip flops for me.

10. You’re the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won’t turn down the stereo. Not if they share the booze.

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you. Yes, but only because I was living in my grandfathers granny flat and going to the club with him every night.

12. You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. I never knew. More of a Maccas chick myself.

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up. Nup, have never got my drivers license. In fact, my L's have expired 8 times.

14. You feed your dog “Science Diet” instead of McDonald’s leftovers. Nope. I cook him big, decadent meals. Gives me an excuse to eat his leftovers. And it buys his affection.

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt. Only if there is someone under me.

16. You take naps. Yes, but I have always thought that these were underrated.

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one. Dinner and a movie is a whole relationship

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at three in the morning would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach. Nup. Still tastes as finger licking good as ever (without any ramifications)

19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests. Wrong again

20. A four dollar bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good shit.” Clearly you are not Australian. I am particularly fond of cask wine as you can blow up the baggy and use it for a pillow afterwards.

21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time. Does 1pm qualify as breakfast time? Actually, scrap that. Cereal is always acceptable.

22. “I just can’t drink the way I used to” replaces “I’m never going to drink that much again.” Bit of column A and a bit of B for me there.

23. Ninety percent of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work. Is Facebook considered real work?

24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar. Yes. I don't think this is an age thing, just more savvy economising.

25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking “Oh shit what the hell happened?” Bit of column A and a bit of B again. I thought my best friend and I were going to be Patti and Selma forever

Bonus:
26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that it doesn’t apply to you and can’t find one to save your sorry old ass. Wrong again :ninja:
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