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Old 05.08.2013, 23:27
mattalex mattalex is offline
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Re: cultural difference? lack of luck? please advise where you met your lover‏

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OP, what is the ethnic composition of social group?

I understand your background ever so much.
I've seen and been in them all so here are a few options to select from:
1. Mostly other HKers, mostly speaking Cantonese
2. Mostly other Chinese, mostly speaking English/French/whatever domestic language (2nd+ generation)
3. Mostly "locals" (ethnically European and what I consider 3rd+ generation of immigrants, so a nice mix)
4. Mostly other foreigners (recent immigrants)

1 & 2 will exclusively bar you from market you're after. Why? Because the cultural differences are too big. You probably know the term FOB. This is the stamp on these two groups.
4 is also difficult because of the different cultures/langauges/social barriers unless you're still a student
3 is best if you want to find another "local"

Also, the following are also important:
- Did you study what your parents wanted you to study?
- Did your parents for all your schooling expecting you to find a good job so they can brag about it to their friends/family back in the "motherland"?
- Did they expect you to have a wife and child by the time you're 30?
- Do you consider yourself a banana? ("yellow" on the outside, "white" on the inside?)

In uni, I wrote articles about Sino/Canadian culture differences & conflicts. It's interesting to revisit these topics.

Hi, my social group mainly are 2&4.

1: The only HKer I know finished his exchange last year.
2: i do know some 2nd+ generation Chinese from Spain and America.of course, from China as well.
3: Swiss people are too cold to approach except one of my classmate.
4: other foreigners mostly are my schoolmates.

To answer your question:
- Did you study what your parents wanted you to study?
- Not at all. I choose everything by myself. They don't care what I study but they do care whether I go for university or not. University degree is mandatory for Asian parents.

PS: Sorry again, what I said Asian here actually I just mean Japanese/Korean/Chinese (including those immigrants in US, UK, SG, etc.), coz they have significant culture for pushing kids to Uni coz they believe TOP uni can bring future success.


- Did your parents for all your schooling expecting you to find a good job so they can brag about it to their friends/family back in the "motherland"?
- Asian parents think: good kindergarden -> good school -> good university -> good job -> good life. Strong casual effects as they believe. So after I finished my master, they have no doubt that I will have a good job (not just hope/expect).

- Did they expect you to have a wife and child by the time you're 30?
- Yes. They believe a good wife can provide a stable family which contributes to the future success of the man. I agree with them that I should engage in a relationship before 28 and get marry 30-33.

BTW, Why this timing? At the age of 30-33, you almost have a predictable future (i.e. you know clearly your path of future career; you have a mature enough mind and clearly know the responsibility to be a husband and a father; you will enjoy more family fun than night club)

- Do you consider yourself a banana? ("yellow" on the outside, "white" on the inside?)
- I would say I am a mango milkshake, yellow and white, half/half.


If I am wrong, please tell me. Thanks.
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