Apple charge you twice as much for a computer the same spec as a windows box

Yes it'll seem to run quicker, crash less and treat you like a total idiot, making all the decisions for you, and depending on what one you get will be a PITA to upgrade.

I'll also turn you into a smug ass

If you have money to burn buy a Mac. bare in mind you'll have to change everything else you have to Apple otherwise you'll be tearing your hair out in no time.