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Old 22.10.2017, 13:32
doropfiz doropfiz is offline
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Re: Incident during our absence

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Love also includes "I'm pissed at you, but I don't hate you." Kids (and partners) sometimes can't hear the second part of that sentence.
Yes.
Messages that can also help might be:
  • Your mother and I have taken a serious decision to stand by you. We want to see you happy.
  • It is YOUR life. Regardless of what we (or anyone else) can or can't give you, it is still up to YOU what you make of that.
  • This situation is a big mess-up, and lots of trouble. BUT you are not only this event. You have education, talents, skills and interpersonal abilities and need to mobilise and improve them, to build your life.
  • I want to understand what you are thinking and feeling.
  • Therefore, I am willing to listen and you can tell me anything, and I will still not hate you (though I might be angry, I do admit that).
  • I get it that sometimes young people can't or don't want to talk openly with their parents. If you feel that that's the case, I am willing to help you get the opportunity to talk to someone else besides me.
  • Though I am fed-up with what's happened up till now, I actually feel sorry for you, at some level.
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