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Old 22.10.2017, 13:35
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Re: Incident during our absence

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Jacek, I don't fully agree with you.
Your boy needs you desperately.
1) He could still get arrested for what happened was illegal
2) I hope he's Swiss because having a record with the police for that kind of destructive behaviour could comprise the renewal of his residency permit if he's a foreigner
3) A youngester on drugs has far more urgent issues to deal with, such as surviving and staying alive.
From my maternal point of view, the young man needs immediate attention. He needs to be kept very close to his parents, monitored carefully, put in a drug rehabilitation program, sent to a psychiatrist.
Hitting him and sending him away and handing him the overwhelming invoice of his actions with a "deal with it", is a recipe for a feeling of worthlessness, depression and failure.
No matter how angry you are, no matter if the car and house are a mess, you've got bigger things.. a young man to put back on track.
Address the source.. why doesn't he have a profession, when did his life and actions start to go wrong, what can be done.
And angry as you may be, his debts are yours, because if he cannot pay, creditors will turn to you and your wife before opting for the final possibility of having social services advance the funds and pay for him.
So.. tis best to have a clear view on the amount of damage and costs.
What he did is terrible.
Hitting him with a tennis racket is too.
Also, you told him "no parties" so you doubted the potential situation before hand. Thus something should have been done before it got out of hand.
Although I might agree with some points here, the tone of your post Sky is kinda “you are dealing with a drug addict so he needs desperate supervision 24/7”. It’s not just black or white. As I have already mentioned it in the other post - there was no large scale problems within last 2 years other than the last mess he caused. He used to go to school but now he looking for a job, apprenticeship before he can decide to study further. He plays rugby, goes to church with us (when we go) and normal stuff which occasionally the youth does in this age. He has his friends and life. He is not a black ship that’s needs to be kept in an enhancement. At least he did NOT give us any serious reasons until now.

I really appreciate answers aiming in direction of counseling and finding a job to keep him busy and get life lessons.
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Last edited by jacek; 22.10.2017 at 13:48.
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