Thank you for your reply. That's also what I read before in this forum, but then I think someone said the rule changed later, so I wasn't sure. So it hasn't changed then? Maybe that's indeed what helped me with my permit, but then why did the other officials tell us that I'd need a D visa, even if we told them that I was already living in EU and have a permanent residency in Holland? It's still a mystery to me. Oh well.

It seems that OP doesn't specify where they are currently living. Anyway, if they are both already in Italy or another EU country, hopefully his wife will be exempted from the visa as well?