This is a friends story, about the time he went swimming with his daughter. Afterwards, in the change rooms, his daughter was chatting to a little friend she'd just made and it's father, who happened to be getting changed at the time. When friends daughter saw new friends father in the all-together, she piped up with, "My Daddy's got a big penis too.......... show them Daddy". As a look of dread, shame, but at the same time deep understanding, passed between the two men, my friend had to whip his out to have it scrutinised by (by now) the whole change room to see if it was in fact bigger. He never told me who "won", and these men now avoid eye contact whenever possible.

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Shark wisdom: A swimmer in the sea is worth ten on the beach.