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  #21  
Old 21.09.2017, 13:36
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Re: Follow Your Dream!

Finally the identity of Uncle Bertrand has been revealed!
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  #22  
Old 21.09.2017, 13:45
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Re: Follow Your Dream!

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Tell them you're decent at it because you enjoy it.
You enjoy it because its not your day job and therefore nothing to stress over. When it becomes a day job, it will become a chore and you won't enjoy it.
That'll defeat the whole purpose and will, in-turn, make you lose your mojo.
Absolutely. 15 years ago back in the UK my passion was cooking, going to serious chef schools, cooking at home for 20 people and once at a friends birthday for over 50. And, not wanting to be big headed, I was a good cook.

All of my friends and family said I should open a restaurant but I didn't need to think about it for a moment. No way I would have enjoyed cooking what people told me to cook. So I just told everybody very clearly that I love doing it for me and friends, as a job or business it would be a nightmare. No one suggested it more than once, I was that clear on it. Maybe you just need to be clearer and don't worry about upsetting people. (I promise I won't be)

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Send them a link to this forum.
I'm guessing many of the friends he is referring to are already reading this

Edit. As it turned out, a seed was clearly planted in my head at that time that I should do something with food, so when I wanted to move here and couldn't find a proper job, I opened a cheese shop. So I guess in a way I have followed my dream. Maybe something similar will happen to you in 15 years when you're not looking for it.
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  #23  
Old 21.09.2017, 13:51
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Re: Follow Your Dream!

Just tell them you want the stability of a steady income without the stress of having to whore yourself around potential publishers, then secretly send short articles and stories out just to test the market. It will stave off any 'what ifs' later on.

Edit: Just heard it's the 80th anniversary of 'The Hobbit' being published. What if...you start a little group of Inklings yourself? I know a priest who is a member of the 'Salzburg Inklings'.
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  #24  
Old 21.09.2017, 13:52
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Re: Follow Your Dream!

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I'm guessing many of the friends he is referring to are already reading this


True, but the ones I'm really thinking about are friends overseas who knew me when I was a young idealist and haven't quite caught up with the fact that I've got responsibilities now to the extent that my friends in Switzerland have.

Anyone who knows what the cost of living is like here isn't likely to push the "impoverished but creative" fantasy!
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  #25  
Old 21.09.2017, 14:25
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Re: Follow Your Dream!

One should definitely follow their dreams....If they know they are a unique gifted individual, who's personality and drive leads them to success in each and every endeavour the undertake.


For me and the rest of us--it's just being a gear in the machine as long as possible before the cogs wear out.
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  #26  
Old 21.09.2017, 14:34
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Re: Follow Your Dream!

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I hate to sound negative but thanks to the Internet I think the value of writing and most other creative endeavours has been vastly diminished. Added to the fact that our attention spans are getting shorter e.g. why bother ploughing through a weighty tome on the Fuhrer's last days when you can watch a three-part documentary on the History Channel.

Aghhhh... stop this train, I want to get off
You mean the type that stops when the Führer has got his gun pointed at his head and his finger on the trigger, and the film stops and they say "can you imagine what happened next? find out after the commercials"

Yeah, like I never read a history book or can't guess?

Yeah,I think the phone rang and somebody from deBeers advised the Führer about creating tax efficient wrapper for blabla.

Last edited by amogles; 21.09.2017 at 15:03.
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  #27  
Old 21.09.2017, 14:54
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Re: Follow Your Dream!

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I wish it were so simple.

Don't get me wrong - my friends are wonderful and supportive and really do want the best for me - but they're also quite persistent.

I can see where they're coming from. Just like the singers' grandmas on the X Factor, they're convinced I have a talent which I'm squandering and look! Losing your job is a perfect opportunity to get started! Except that just as the singers on the X Factor soon discover, there's a world of difference between having a decent voice and actually earning a living from it.

But every time I suggest that professional writing is not really for me, I'm invited to be more persistent, to give it another chance, reminded that Rome wasn't built in a day, and so on. That would be great, if I actually wanted to put the effort it, but I don't. Writing is hard work, and I have better things to do with my time.

I've even got one friend, a published writer and journalist, offering to put me in contact with his publisher. How does one turn down an offer like that without seeming like a churlish oaf?

Are they on EF ? if no get them to read some of the "lively" posts on immigration ,racism,misogyny.They will lose their humanity and will not bother you with their "follow your dreams" speech. If yes and they have read these posts, get new friends.
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  #28  
Old 21.09.2017, 16:26
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Re: Follow Your Dream!

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... actually, do you mind if I don't?
I think you do, actually. Your dream(s) may be of a different kind than others' but that doesn't take away the fact.
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  #29  
Old 21.09.2017, 16:35
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Re: Follow Your Dream!

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I think you do, actually. Your dream(s) may be of a different kind than others' but that doesn't take away the fact.
My only dream is to return to the job and salary I had before I came to Switzerland.

Since that's never going to happen, I think it's safe to say I don't have any dreams.
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  #30  
Old 21.09.2017, 17:12
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Re: Follow Your Dream!

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... actually, do you mind if I don't?
I thought you had answered that question for yourself already?

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.....
The problem is that this goes against the current of modern thought, where everyone is supposed to want to be his own boss, to pursue his dreams, to fulfil his creative potential......
I absolutely believe one should follow ones dreams. The point is to be alert enough to notice when a dream changes.

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How do I explain this without hurting their feelings?
You don't have to. I'm sure you are welcome to tell your friends all the reasons you mentioned in your op but if you don't want to explain, you simply don't have to. Your dream has changed. Why would real friends waste your time by flogging a dead horse? Why don't they come up with new ideas instead? (Which they kindly brainstorm-mention, not impose).

Real friends are interested in your dreams when you want to share them and leave you be if you dropped them or - just as important - while they (the dreams) might breed - the others just want to babble about a subject that doesn't interest you anymore. So tell them to drop it.

Ah, and I recognize my friends by them giving me input, not advice
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  #31  
Old 21.09.2017, 17:41
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Re: Follow Your Dream!

DB, your frustration at being pushed (they mean it as encouragement, sigh) reminds me of something I learnt from a man who was grieving deeply after his wife of 30 years had recently died.

His friends said the most inane yet apparently well-meaning things to him, along the lines of "better to have loved and lost...", "you're not old yet, you know", "would you like to meet my cousin?" and "you should try internet dating".

At first, he tried to shake those remarks off by explaining that it was too soon, that he was not ready, he wanted to take time to think though everything that had happend, etc. Later, he tried to tell them to just stop putting him under pressure and to stop making so-called helpful suggestions. None of this really worked.

Finally, he changed his tack. Whatever anyone said, along those lines, he simply nodded and said: "Thank you." He told me that most people were flatly confused by his simple Thank You, and they usually fell into silence, a little uneasy, until someone changed the topic. Occasionally, someone ventured to ask him for what, exactly, he was saying thank you. "For the fact that you care enough about me to want me to feel better. That's nice of you." He found that having identified this, which was indeed the truth, at least for most of them, he could more easily shake off the rest, if ever anyone still tried to force their encouragement upon him. He completely gave up entering into their ideas or reasons, but then said: "No. Thank you for meaning well. But the answer is no."

It seems that people on the receiving end of this more easily notice (though silence, lack of dialog, dis-ease, confusion, boredom at the repetitiveness) that it is simply silly to go on about the very topic about which you do not want to talk.

Last edited by doropfiz; 21.09.2017 at 17:43. Reason: typo
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  #32  
Old 21.09.2017, 17:54
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Re: Follow Your Dream!

i think you should follow your dream of having a regular job with a salary.
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  #33  
Old 21.09.2017, 18:05
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Re: Follow Your Dream!

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My only dream is to return to the job and salary I had before I came to Switzerland.

Since that's never going to happen, I think it's safe to say I don't have any dreams.
Really? No dreams?

Honestly DB, that's heart-breaking. I've got loads of them. If you want, you can have some of mine. Don't worry about giving them back. We'll call it an investment.
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  #34  
Old 21.09.2017, 18:09
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Re: Follow Your Dream!

Who knows DB, you might just end up writing one with a book dedication that looks something like this:

"To my wife Marganit and my children Ella Rose and Daniel Adam without whom this book would have been completed two years earlier."

-Joseph R Rotman’s 'An Introduction To Algebraic Topology'.
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  #35  
Old 21.09.2017, 18:45
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Re: Follow Your Dream!

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Really? No dreams?

Honestly DB, that's heart-breaking. I've got loads of them. If you want, you can have some of mine. Don't worry about giving them back. We'll call it an investment.
I live in the Alps. I'm married with children. Apart from being on the dole, I've got everything I could possibly want.

So you could say that I dream of getting a job, but I'm pretty sure that's not what most people mean when they talk of "following a dream".
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  #36  
Old 21.09.2017, 18:48
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Re: Follow Your Dream!

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i think you should follow your dream of having a regular job with a salary.
Bingo! And, may I add, which hopefully leaves you some time to pursue the hobbies and interests you enjoy - writing, etc. - in your own time and at your own whim.
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  #37  
Old 21.09.2017, 19:34
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Re: Follow Your Dream!

now that we've sorted out DB, can anyone help me with my dream of winning the lotto?
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  #38  
Old 21.09.2017, 20:04
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Re: Follow Your Dream!

Tell them the non-fiction kiddie porn snuff genre is really saturated right now, so you are changing direction to technical writing; Specifically, homeopathic saturation tables for Nepalese medical journals.

Livin' the dream, man. Livin' the dream!
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  #39  
Old 21.09.2017, 20:14
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Re: Follow Your Dream!

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now that we've sorted out DB, can anyone help me with my dream of winning the lotto?
Fill this in on the 17th of September 2017

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Lucky number 2
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  #40  
Old 21.09.2017, 20:30
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Re: Follow Your Dream!

My boss took four years during his free time to write a book, which has been published in 3 languages and is in the top 10 best-seller list in Italy, Portugal and Brazil for the last 12 months.

Each copy sells for €30, he's presented it at dozens of book stores, conferences and seminars. He's used themes from his book to give one of the most inspiring Ted talks I've seen.

For every copy sold, the publisher agrees to pay €1 to the author. After 12 months, he has yet to be paid for single copy.

Publishers have writers by the balls and this is normal, unless your name is J.K Rowling, or Steven King.

You do not write a book to make money. You write as a labour of love, or to share a message with others.
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