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  #21  
Old 09.12.2010, 13:11
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

The best comeback I've heard to a 'weight' sledge comes from a Cricket player (Shane Warne). The sledge may not be original, but it was the first time I heard of it.

"Hey Warney, Why are you so fat?"
"Because every time I sleep with your wife she gives me a biscuit"
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  #22  
Old 09.12.2010, 13:11
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

When I left my mountain village to go to London in 70 - I was quite a stunner - back after 40 years - I am no longer! So meeting old school friends from ye olde days can be hard- some do not say anything, but I can SEE their surprise- but I've had some very cutting comments. Ouch, not nice. One of them very recently at a concert- not seen him since 1969 - and he said very loudly 'Are you SURE you are Odile - I'd never believe it' - and no, he is not on my Christmas list. ******d.

(yes, I know - I am working on my weight - always active, plenty of walking, sport, watch what I eat, don't drink alcohol unless with friends- under-active thyroid now being treated- it does not hurt less for all that).

Next time I meet him, I'll be ready.

LOL Billhardie - if I told him that, it would really get to him!!
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  #23  
Old 09.12.2010, 13:13
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

Would love to have such friends.....

would love to have friends....

would love to have friend....
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  #24  
Old 09.12.2010, 13:15
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

My best advice (unpalatable as it is) is to make a scene then and there. You have to make the rude comment more embarrassing to them than it is to you, or they simply will not stop.

I had an auntie - bless her! - who used to "pinch an inch" on my upper arms, while announcing that someone had told her you can estimate BMI by doing this, and if you can pinch half an inch you're overweight and if you can pinch an inch you're obese. (Yeah right...)

Anyway, she did this every year - and I was a slightly chubby teenager - not as chubby as she was letting on though! Finally one year I had had enough and decided to one-up her.

Family reunion time next year, Auntie approaches, reaches for my arm. I ignore, pretend I think she is coming in for a hug. She evades the hug... she reaches... she grabs... I ignore and keep talking to Grandma over her shoulder. She PINCHES the dreaded inch, the monologue begins - and I break off mid-sentence and stand there frozen with a look of horror on my face. "Oh nooooo", I wail. "It's not, it can't be. It was three quarters of an inch last week I swear! No, you're wrong, you measured wrong, oh no I'm obese, I can't belieeeeve it" - basically go into a teenage body-image meltdown with everyone standing there. My kid brother of course thinks this is just great and runs off to fetch a tape measure to confirm the diagnosis.... Dad pelts up the stairs after him, Grandma bustles me off to the kitchen to help with the potato salad while Mom has a firm sisterly chat with Auntie outside about the wisdom of telling Other People's Children they are fat.

Fifteen minutes later, peace and harmony is restored, all is evidently forgotten - and yet somehow it never ever happened again.
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  #25  
Old 09.12.2010, 13:17
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

Excellent! I wish that approach worked with my mum. She would most likely say "oh, don't be so sensitive".
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  #26  
Old 09.12.2010, 13:18
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

I don't think pleading for support will make a difference, it will be worse. I think faking a 200% confidence and laughing some insolent crap off will take the wind out of their sails..Growing with 2 rough brothers toughened me well, but I don't think ill meant mockery should be tolerated, even within family, either ignore them victoriously or fire back. Try working with teens here, they can be outright cruel, weight seems to be an issue to mock cruelly, they think it's the funniest thing on earth. Until somebody mocks them about their own specific shortcoming, then they quit. So, offense, me thinks. After you have a nice big shot of eggnog, people forgive vengeance from a tipsy pretty girl, especially at xmas times, will make them think later. They are jealous, anyways.
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  #27  
Old 09.12.2010, 13:19
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

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The best comeback I've heard to a 'weight' sledge comes from a Cricket player (Shane Warne). The sledge may not be original, but it was the first time I heard of it.

"Hey Warney, Why are you so fat?"
"Because every time I sleep with your wife she gives me a biscuit"
Love this one, wil be using it from now on.
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  #28  
Old 09.12.2010, 13:20
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

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One time after my boyfriend left to go back to Switzerland after visiting, I was upset (obviously). Some complete stranger (may I add a pervy, middle-aged man) said to me "Cheer up, darlin', it might never 'appen!". Ugh. I hate that phrase.
Oh, so that was you, was it?
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  #29  
Old 09.12.2010, 13:23
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

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but she has a face even her own mother couldn't love
I prefer the expression "a face like a slapped arse"
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  #30  
Old 09.12.2010, 13:24
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

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I don't think pleading for support will make a difference, it will be worse. I think faking a 200% confidence and laughing some insolent crap off will take the wind out of their sails..
That's what I usually do, pretend it's all some hilarious joke. I'm not good at taunting back and don't really see the point of falling to their level.

Gosh, some people's relatives want a right smack around the head. My mum used to go on about dieting to me but then it occured to her that me having eating disorders for many years might just have something to do with that and now she leaves well be. My gran actually send me tips on a new diet together with her card for my 30th birthday. Gee, thanks gran!
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  #31  
Old 09.12.2010, 13:27
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

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I prefer the expression "a face like a slapped arse"
I like "a bit long in a tooth"
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  #32  
Old 09.12.2010, 13:30
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

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"Thanks, I agree that my position is more comfortable than yours. Being heavy but pretty means that I can fix it if I want to..."
Somewhat Churchillian . . .
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  #33  
Old 09.12.2010, 13:30
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

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I like "a bit long in a tooth"
Or a face like a monkeys backside
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  #34  
Old 09.12.2010, 13:34
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

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Why would anyone groan at you for that? (OK, lots of people on here groan for no reason so I suppose I can understand why you would think that). It's true, though. My boyfriend's ex kept calling me fat (as I said, I'm 172cm and weigh 73-75kg, so could stand to lose a bit, but am by no means enormous!) but she has a face even her own mother couldn't love... I know which I'd rather be!

Kittster, you should be really proud of yourself for losing the weight. 20lb is impressive, and if you continue in that way, you'll be well on your way to skinnyville
Dont worry about her. She is just doing her job as the bitch ex
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  #35  
Old 09.12.2010, 13:35
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

I always been the skinniest in the family with my brother, so never had those comments. But that doesn't stop my mother to give me comments on other subjects. Her new best favorites are about me raising my daughter...

- I didn't do it like this...
- This is such a weird thing to do...
- Your brother and you were off it much earlier than that! (I know, we were genius and fast apparently)
- Really? You are doing this like that?

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  #36  
Old 09.12.2010, 13:36
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

Kittster you need new friends! seriously to be friends with anyone who can just come out and say stuff like that

I am over weight and I seriously do not need it pointing out to me by friends and family and if they did I'd deck them
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  #37  
Old 09.12.2010, 13:38
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

I'm honestly a little shocked to hear that other peoples' comments and opinions matter so much to some of you.

I personally don't give a rat's ass what most people think about my shape or looks or disposition. And I tell them as much if they insist on airing their opinions anyway. I don't recall too many second attempts...
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  #38  
Old 09.12.2010, 13:38
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

In general I'm ok with my weight and I can avoid some silly comments. Not when I was pregnant.

Some voices from close and loving people

- I thought your baby would be so much bigger, as you are quite on the fat side (yes she said FAT).

- Are you worried about your weight or that you will stay like this?

- After baby: wow you look so much thinner and more beautiful now

- Oh, you did loose weight from the last time I have seen you.

It really did hurt, but know I can only laugh about it. Some people just don't think for 5 cents...



And no I was never worried about my pregnancy weight - or weight as such !!!!!
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  #39  
Old 09.12.2010, 13:39
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

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That's what I usually do, pretend it's all some hilarious joke. I'm not good at taunting back and don't really see the point of falling to their level.

Gosh, some people's relatives want a right smack around the head. My mum used to go on about dieting to me but then it occured to her that me having eating disorders for many years might just have something to do with that and now she leaves well be. My gran actually send me tips on a new diet together with her card for my 30th birthday. Gee, thanks gran!
Hm, I think I'd give them too much credit for being funny, when they clearly aren't...hahahaha. People are weird. You don't need to be offensive to get back at people, no need to get down to their level but it is good to feel you protected yourself, so it does not eat you. It's fun to play dumb and not understanding sometimes. Like, taking people literally, "what you mean, fat, you mean I am fat? Obese? You think I weigh too much? I should have myself checked for illness, really, you think?" Just like MN mentioned, you basically label people when you repeat their own out of place words, ask them to explain themselves better when they actually start wishing they haven't said it, it's fun to watch them go all red.

It's crappy when family does this, mom always worried about me being underweight, her colleagues at work would bring her jeans and clothes for me to recycle, for 10yr old when I was 25. It was so embarrassing. So I heard it all over xmas, have some more food so you look human.. it really goes both ways, one feels inadequate, malnourished, underdeveloped, etc etc. People should watch their verbal diarrhea, fo sho.
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  #40  
Old 09.12.2010, 13:42
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

Wait a minute, is this turning into a "Fat Fighters" recruitment thread?

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