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  #81  
Old 09.12.2010, 14:53
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

At least it was him who was taking his undies off...
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  #82  
Old 09.12.2010, 14:54
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

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still doesnt explain why you took your boxes off in front of her Am I being blonde or did you just dig yourself a bigger hole?



I never have, and never will get nekid anywhere near the MIF, different time, occasion, place, universe

(Your feet look fat on that piano)
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  #83  
Old 09.12.2010, 14:54
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

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At least it was him who was taking his undies off...
I think you just might have killed Planty with that comment..

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(Your feet look fat on that piano)
Thanks hunny. Last I heard, diet is possible. MIL fetishes on the other are a little harder to get rid of..
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  #84  
Old 09.12.2010, 14:55
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

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Ahh damn.
In case it wasn't clear that was on different occasions.

I did not have to pass an MOT test with the MIL...I just threw up in my mouth at that thought.

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  #85  
Old 09.12.2010, 14:55
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

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did you just dig yourself a bigger hole?
Oh my...

Think of the children.
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  #86  
Old 09.12.2010, 14:55
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

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I never have, and never will get nekid anywhere near the MIF, different time, occasion, place, universe

(Your feet look fat on that piano)

Freudian slip?
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  #87  
Old 09.12.2010, 14:56
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

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Am I being blonde or did you just dig yourself a bigger hole?

Why a bigger hole?
Are you saying I am fat?
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  #88  
Old 09.12.2010, 14:58
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

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M- ''So.. you want my honest opinion? Well maybe the size 18 corset was a mistake, if you can't fit into the size 8 then give up on the whole idea''

F-''You pig''
The point of a corset is to pinch something in, you know...
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  #89  
Old 09.12.2010, 15:06
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

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The point of a corset is to pinch something in, you know...
Yeah maybe in 1850, but these days there comes a point when the corset is so big its more like a flack jacket.
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  #90  
Old 09.12.2010, 15:11
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

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Yeah maybe in 1850, but these days there comes a point when the corset is so big its more like a flack jacket.
Hand the man a shovel.
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  #91  
Old 09.12.2010, 15:20
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

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I did not have to pass an MOT test with the MIL...I just threw up in my mouth at that thought.
so now if your wife asks, you'll have to lie or admit thinking about that with the MIL...

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I never have, and never will get nekid anywhere near the MIF, different time, occasion, place, universe

(Your feet look fat on that piano)
absence of the letter 'L' duly noted

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I think it is a cultural thing, really...People trying to remind you as if you forgot what the priority should be, it's quite constant this mentoring and unsolicited advice.
i think it's mostly from well-meaning relatives who are worried about you. kind of a ham-fisted way of saying:

"you're fat and we are concerned about it. you don't seem to be motivated to losing the weight so, hmm, just think how great you would look/feel if you did!"

i have the opposite from relatives so say i'm not fat enough and they tend to constantly bring me food. not that i mind
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  #92  
Old 09.12.2010, 15:47
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

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Dont worry about her. She is just doing her job as the bitch ex
Scary thing is she didn't think she was an ex because she was deluded! (Think Fatal Attraction). It didn't bother me what she said (like I say... hideously, hideously ugly) but your family can have a terrible effect on you if they don't watch themselves. I was a slightly chubby 14-year-old and my brother started calling me "obese". I made sure I ate no more than an apple a day and worked out for hours every week. I went down to 54kg, which doesn't sound very light, but for my frame it was far too low, I looked skeletal. Now I've gone a bit too much the other way in my opinion, but that's all that matters. My opinion. My brother still calls me fat, my boyfriend (for some inexplicable reason) absolutely loves my love handles and belly, but ultimately it's up to me how happy I am with how I look. Still, I think the question here is more about people being nasty unnecessarily rather than what they actually think of you. That's out of order.
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  #93  
Old 09.12.2010, 16:02
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

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I think you just might have killed Planty with that comment..
Oh, no...

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..my boyfriend (for some inexplicable reason) absolutely loves my love handles and belly
Most guys do, honest.

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..you don't seem to be motivated to losing the weight so, hmm, just think how great you would look/feel if you did!"
See, the assumptions bug me. Just because people do not discuss the details of their diets with others, don't show them gym pass and all the possible pills, docs prescriptions, etc etc, people think that they are not motivated, which gives people right to stick their nose into somebody's private biz and voice their hurtful BS. I think the assumptions, little black and white, and stereotypes, really are a bit of a cultural thing.
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  #94  
Old 09.12.2010, 16:08
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

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Most guys do, honest.
...that's because love handles and breast intrinsically remind men of "mother" (feeling of security)...whereas the butt intrinsically reminds men of "mating".
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  #95  
Old 09.12.2010, 16:11
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

I think men are often more likely to fall prey to this "assumption" thing, most guys I date are engineer types and while they clearly are spending time with me for other things than just looks, it seems to them that it's a simple matter of, erm, feeding the engine differently or "recoding the system" to have someone by their side who will fit the bill inside and out. Food is nothing more than a tasty fuel to them and when they are not happy with their appearance, they go to the gym and eat less, problem solved. A lot of women I know (including myself) have DEEPLY emotional issues with food and weight, it's like you are "not good enough" when you are overweight and yet food is used as a reward / pacifier / pick-me up.

I try very hard not to let on that I'm not happy with my appearance (and sometimes I'm actually quite ok with it, like when there is nobody around to compare myself / be compared unfavourably to) but once a hurtful comment has been made, that's it, the relationship will fail because I can't stop wondering just how bad I must look for him to find it necessary to hurt my feelings about it, so I run first.
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  #96  
Old 09.12.2010, 16:13
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

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Most guys do, honest.


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Just because people do not discuss the details of their diets with others, don't show them gym pass and all the possible pills, docs prescriptions, etc etc, people think that they are not motivated,
motivated but not getting results? now you're really in for a world of hurt. what you're doing obviously isn't working so now they will take control over what you're going to do about it...
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  #97  
Old 09.12.2010, 16:17
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

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I think men are often more likely to fall prey to this "assumption" thing, most guys I date are engineer types and while they clearly are spending time with me for other things than just looks, it seems to them that it's a simple matter of, erm, feeding the engine differently or "recoding the system" to have someone by their side who will fit the bill inside and out. Food is nothing more than a tasty fuel to them and when they are not happy with their appearance, they go to the gym and eat less, problem solved. A lot of women I know (including myself) have DEEPLY emotional issues with food and weight, it's like you are "not good enough" when you are overweight and yet food is used as a reward / pacifier / pick-me up.

I try very hard not to let on that I'm not happy with my appearance (and sometimes I'm actually quite ok with it, like when there is nobody around to compare myself / be compared unfavourably to) but once a hurtful comment has been made, that's it, the relationship will fail because I can't stop wondering just how bad I must look for him to find it necessary to hurt my feelings about it, so I run first.

just out of interest, do you go for looks when you date men - ie. would you date someone who was overweight ?
i often find that women don't mind as much , well i did back in CH however in singapore (and in asia) guys are really really self conscious when it comes to their weight.
the j-pop, skinny look is in here (for guys)
and it's all about the skinny jean/t-shirt look.
so god knows how that has an effect on the local girls here...

(for example i think andy lau looks really gaunt and anorexic these days -so unappealing- he is in all the big ads here......)
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  #98  
Old 09.12.2010, 16:20
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

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I try very hard not to let on that I'm not happy with my appearance (and sometimes I'm actually quite ok with it, like when there is nobody around to compare myself / be compared unfavourably to) but once a hurtful comment has been made, that's it, the relationship will fail because I can't stop wondering just how bad I must look for him to find it necessary to hurt my feelings about it, so I run first.
Hate to say this but its a vicious cycle. This is going to sound so cliche but I am going to say it anyway: you need to love yourself first before loving others.

Otherwise, you are just vulnerable to all those idiotic, senseless comments (whether malicious or not) - which will hurt anyone no doubt - but just you more.
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  #99  
Old 09.12.2010, 16:21
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

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Food is nothing more than a tasty fuel to them and when they are not happy with their appearance, they go to the gym and eat less, problem solved.
isn't this the normal world most people live in? or do girls manage to up even such basic things in their warped version of reality?

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for him to find it necessary to hurt my feelings about it, so I run first.
you see, i don't think people (well at least men) go around trying to hurt anyone's feelings. frankly, i forget most of the time people have feelings until i forget that i'm speaking to a girl and they get all over-sensitive about things.

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Despite wide acceptance of the stereotype that women apologize more readily than men, there is little systematic evidence to support this stereotype or its supposed bases (e.g., men’s fragile egos). We designed two studies to examine whether gender differences in apology behavior exist and, if so, why. In Study 1, participants reported in daily diaries all offenses they committed or experienced and whether an apology had been offered. Women reported offering more apologies than men, but they also reported committing more offenses. There was no gender difference in the proportion of offenses that prompted apologies. This finding suggests that men apologize less frequently than women because they have a higher threshold for what constitutes offensive behavior. In Study 2, we tested this threshold hypothesis by asking participants to evaluate both imaginary and recalled offenses. As predicted, men rated the offenses as less severe than women did. These different ratings of severity predicted both judgments of whether an apology was deserved and actual apology behavior.
Source: "Why Women Apologize More Than Men, Gender Differences in Thresholds for Perceiving Offensive Behavior" from Psychological Science
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  #100  
Old 09.12.2010, 16:27
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

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Hate to say this but its a vicious cycle. This is going to sound so cliche but I am going to say it anyway: you need to love yourself first before loving others.

Otherwise, you are just vulnerable to all those idiotic, senseless comments - which will hurt anyone no doubt - but just you more.
I'm currently at "sort of ok, could be worse". Then some idiot comes along and says something stupid and we are back at zero.

Phil - I think women live in a different world, one where all the intelligence and charm amounts to nothing if you have, gaaasp, "let yourself go".

Swissotter - the men I date tend to be slim / athletic, but that's not a conscious thing, I quite like the pudgy but very fit rugby player type too but they seem to go for the petite girls. The thing is, I accept how they look, I don't pick them and then try and change how their body looks.
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