At least it was him who was taking his undies off...

I never have, and never will get nekid anywhere near the MIF, different time, occasion, place, universe

(Your feet look fat on that piano)

I think you just might have killed Planty with that comment..

Thanks hunny. Last I heard, diet is possible. MIL fetishes on the other are a little harder to get rid of..

Oh my...

Think of the children.

Freudian slip?

Why a bigger hole?
Are you saying I am fat?

The point of a corset is to pinch something in, you know...

Yeah maybe in 1850, but these days there comes a point when the corset is so big its more like a flack jacket.

Hand the man a shovel.

so now if your wife asks, you'll have to lie or admit thinking about that with the MIL...

absence of the letter 'L' duly noted

i think it's mostly from well-meaning relatives who are worried about you. kind of a ham-fisted way of saying:

"you're fat and we are concerned about it. you don't seem to be motivated to losing the weight so, hmm, just think how great you would look/feel if you did!"

i have the opposite from relatives so say i'm not fat enough and they tend to constantly bring me food. not that i mind

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Scary thing is she didn't think she was an ex because she was deluded! (Think Fatal Attraction). It didn't bother me what she said (like I say... hideously, hideously ugly) but your family can have a terrible effect on you if they don't watch themselves. I was a slightly chubby 14-year-old and my brother started calling me "obese". I made sure I ate no more than an apple a day and worked out for hours every week. I went down to 54kg, which doesn't sound very light, but for my frame it was far too low, I looked skeletal. Now I've gone a bit too much the other way in my opinion, but that's all that matters. My opinion. My brother still calls me fat, my boyfriend (for some inexplicable reason) absolutely loves my love handles and belly, but ultimately it's up to me how happy I am with how I look. Still, I think the question here is more about people being nasty unnecessarily rather than what they actually think of you. That's out of order.

Oh, no...

Most guys do, honest.

See, the assumptions bug me. Just because people do not discuss the details of their diets with others, don't show them gym pass and all the possible pills, docs prescriptions, etc etc, people think that they are not motivated, which gives people right to stick their nose into somebody's private biz and voice their hurtful BS. I think the assumptions, little black and white, and stereotypes, really are a bit of a cultural thing.

...that's because love handles and breast intrinsically remind men of "mother" (feeling of security)...whereas the butt intrinsically reminds men of "mating".

I think men are often more likely to fall prey to this "assumption" thing, most guys I date are engineer types and while they clearly are spending time with me for other things than just looks, it seems to them that it's a simple matter of, erm, feeding the engine differently or "recoding the system" to have someone by their side who will fit the bill inside and out. Food is nothing more than a tasty fuel to them and when they are not happy with their appearance, they go to the gym and eat less, problem solved. A lot of women I know (including myself) have DEEPLY emotional issues with food and weight, it's like you are "not good enough" when you are overweight and yet food is used as a reward / pacifier / pick-me up.

I try very hard not to let on that I'm not happy with my appearance (and sometimes I'm actually quite ok with it, like when there is nobody around to compare myself / be compared unfavourably to) but once a hurtful comment has been made, that's it, the relationship will fail because I can't stop wondering just how bad I must look for him to find it necessary to hurt my feelings about it, so I run first.

motivated but not getting results? now you're really in for a world of hurt. what you're doing obviously isn't working so now they will take control over what you're going to do about it...

just out of interest, do you go for looks when you date men - ie. would you date someone who was overweight ?
i often find that women don't mind as much , well i did back in CH however in singapore (and in asia) guys are really really self conscious when it comes to their weight.
the j-pop, skinny look is in here (for guys)
and it's all about the skinny jean/t-shirt look.
so god knows how that has an effect on the local girls here...

(for example i think andy lau looks really gaunt and anorexic these days -so unappealing- he is in all the big ads here......)

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be the glitch you want to see in the matrix

Hate to say this but its a vicious cycle. This is going to sound so cliche but I am going to say it anyway: you need to love yourself first before loving others.

Otherwise, you are just vulnerable to all those idiotic, senseless comments (whether malicious or not) - which will hurt anyone no doubt - but just you more.

isn't this the normal world most people live in? or do girls manage to up even such basic things in their warped version of reality?

you see, i don't think people (well at least men) go around trying to hurt anyone's feelings. frankly, i forget most of the time people have feelings until i forget that i'm speaking to a girl and they get all over-sensitive about things.

I'm currently at "sort of ok, could be worse". Then some idiot comes along and says something stupid and we are back at zero.

Phil - I think women live in a different world, one where all the intelligence and charm amounts to nothing if you have, gaaasp, "let yourself go".

Swissotter - the men I date tend to be slim / athletic, but that's not a conscious thing, I quite like the pudgy but very fit rugby player type too but they seem to go for the petite girls. The thing is, I accept how they look, I don't pick them and then try and change how their body looks.