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  #101  
Old 09.12.2010, 16:30
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

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Swissotter - the men I date tend to be slim / athletic, and tall ....

brief omission there...
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  #102  
Old 09.12.2010, 16:36
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

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brief omission there...
Not exclusively, there was a 5'9" and a 5'10" chap among them...

What do I have to do to make you drop the tall thing? Seriously!
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  #103  
Old 09.12.2010, 16:41
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

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Not exclusively, there was a 5'9" and a 5'10" chap among them...
My God, how many were there? All at the same time?
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  #104  
Old 09.12.2010, 16:45
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

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My God, how many were there? All at the same time?
Well, there IS a lot of me to go around...
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  #105  
Old 09.12.2010, 16:57
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

Even you weigh less than her - take a look at the BMI - you are still lower than her! Hers is 28.0403781 (between 25 and 30 is overweight but not obese) and you are 24.6755003 (between 20 and 25 is considered PERFECT). Am I showing my obsession?
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  #106  
Old 09.12.2010, 17:00
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

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Well, there IS a lot of me to go around...
I know they say inside every fat person there 2 thin people trying to get out - but 2 trying to get in??????
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  #107  
Old 09.12.2010, 17:01
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

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I know they say inside every fat person there 2 thin people trying to get out - but 2 trying to get in??????
Oh my, that's sounds like an interesting Saturday night...
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  #108  
Old 09.12.2010, 17:04
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

I am sorry - I thought my answer would be placed beside the post to which I was referring. This was in answer to Kamarate whose mother having lost weight feels free to comment on her daughter´s figure!
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  #109  
Old 09.12.2010, 17:16
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

Haha oh thanks, I know all that but the way I see it, she's lost an astonishing amount of weight - she should get to feel good about herself. If telling me I'm a bit porky is her way of doing it, then so be it. I know her BMI is higher than mine, I can see it. However, she gets giddy about the fact that we can share clothes now and it's nice to see her happy. There have been one or two occasions where she's said something and I've been having a fat day, or been hormonal and shot one back at her, but overall I try to ignore it. She does it to make herself feel better, my brother did it maliciously.
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  #110  
Old 09.12.2010, 17:45
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

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Oh my, that's sounds like an interesting Saturday night...
Jeez - why limit yourself to a Saturday
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  #111  
Old 09.12.2010, 18:20
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

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Not exclusively, there was a 5'9" and a 5'10" chap among them...
How old were these "men"?

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motivated but not getting results? now you're really in for a world of hurt. what you're doing obviously isn't working so now they will take control over what you're going to do about it...
That's why it is better not to share your big plans with your fambli, honestly..I never told them I was in a band, and what kind of muzzak we were doing, just brought them to a gig one day..Haahaha. People who do things rather than plan and talk about them shut others up. At least dad points out good bass lines now for me now.

If the nearest ones don't tease about weight, they will over sumfin else, won't they. It's good to put a stop to it, though, sometimes all it takes is to actually let them feel their own "medicine". The "you wish you were me" attitude can be seen as arrogance, but at the end does do the job too with some.
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  #112  
Old 09.12.2010, 18:22
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

Oops, I just realized 5'9"-10" ain't reaaaaally that short
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  #113  
Old 09.12.2010, 18:26
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

But it's not that tall either. Shorter than average for Switzerland, I'm sure, isn't it? I feel a bit short here sometimes, I think people in general are taller here than in the UK at least.
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  #114  
Old 09.12.2010, 18:29
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

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But it's not that tall either. Shorter than average for Switzerland, I'm sure, isn't it? I feel a bit short here sometimes, I think people in general are taller here than in the UK at least.
Height of people round the world:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_height

about the same as UK in fact. I have to say I always found dutch people very tall.
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  #115  
Old 09.12.2010, 19:09
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

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How old were these "men"?
Between 24 and 42, in accordance with my own age, more or less.

I often hear this thing with mothers going on at their daughters, I wonder whether they don't realise just how much damage they do... especially when you're younger, your parents are basically the most powerful beings you know!

Last edited by Kittster; 09.12.2010 at 19:25. Reason: forgive me, for I have sinned and written your instead of you're...
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  #116  
Old 09.12.2010, 19:23
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

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Between 24 and 42, in accordance with my own age, more or less.

I often hear this thing with mothers going on at their daughters, I wonder whether they don't realise just how much damage they do... especially when your younger, your parents are basically the most powerful beings you know!
It's really true. And especially from moms it's a dangerous thing. My best friend was terrorized her entire childhood by her mom about her being overweight, about no man ever being interested in her, about not ever having a family, all that usual crap. Now, my best friend is happily chubby (and stunning), gay, single parent with a child from a sperm bank. And she lives very far from her mom.
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  #117  
Old 09.12.2010, 21:27
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

The worst comment I had thrown at me was from a waiter in a café. I and my good friend (we were more than pleasingly plump) had ordered 2 hot chocolates viennois
The guy looked at us in utter disgust and said:
"Est-ce bien raisonnable ?"
(are you being reasonable ordering hot chocolate with whipped cream ?)

Yes comments about one's body are damaging and even more so when the person is relatively young and it's from the opposite gender.

Congrats Kittster for all the weight loss !!

Took me two years to lose more than 30 kg with diet and lots of fitness.
Don't regret I did.
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Last edited by Sky; 09.12.2010 at 21:32. Reason: Hmm spelling
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  #118  
Old 09.12.2010, 21:55
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

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Height of people round the world:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_height

about the same as UK in fact. I have to say I always found dutch people very tall.
Thanks for the interesting link. I certainly didn't think I was above average in every country mentioned there. There are some extremely tall, thin girls here who hang around in packs. Whenever they walk past I feel like Tweedle Dee (or possibly Tweedle Dum).

NB: I swear the average height of Spanish women is less than 165cm!!!
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  #119  
Old 09.12.2010, 22:24
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

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That's what I usually do, pretend it's all some hilarious joke. I'm not good at taunting back and don't really see the point of falling to their level.
I think you should just walk away. There is no point in saying anything really. Wait til they have finished talking then say "excuse me" and walk away.

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I'm honestly a little shocked to hear that other peoples' comments and opinions matter so much to some of you.

I personally don't give a rat's ass what most people think about my shape or looks or disposition. And I tell them as much if they insist on airing their opinions anyway. I don't recall too many second attempts...
When I was around 9/10 I remember listening to my mother and her sisters going on and on about their weight. They were all 5'0 tall and tiny. I decided there & then that I was not going to let weight be an obsession in my life and I wasn't going to let what other people think about the way I look bother me.

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The worst comment I had thrown at me was from a waiter in a café. I and my good friend (we were more than pleasingly plump) had ordered 2 hot chocolates viennois
The guy looked at us in utter disgust and said:
"Est-ce bien raisonnable ?"
(are you being reasonable ordering hot chocolate with whipped cream ?.
When I was visiting St Gallen I went to a rosti restaurant. When the waiter came 'round he said, "we have salads". I laughed out loud and said. "No thank you I'd like the rosti with cheese". Cheeky git!

I know all about the family thing. I'm not tall but I'm have a larger frame than the rest of my family. I've also never been skinny skinny, on & off chubby. My whole life and have heard the "you have a pretty face. if only you would lose weight. just a little" Honestly, see above, since I was young I've not let other people's comments bother me.

Looking back at the pictures of when people thought I should lose weight I think, "you've got to kiddin' me" I was perfectly normal. Now, at 40 (yes, turned 40 last week ) I am a fatty and will work on it. But for me. Not for anyone else.

Last year when I went home for my brother's wedding my mother started "Can I tell you something you are not going to like?" I said, "no mom. If you know I'm not going to like it keep it to yourself".

The worst comment I think was not about my weight. It was from an ex who said, "wow, you have a huge back".... grrr. Yes, I have a wide back. I don't think they have surgery for that....... Shall I have them saw down my rib cage on either side and remove and inch..... grr!
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  #120  
Old 09.12.2010, 23:06
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Re: "Helpful" comments on others' appearance...

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The festive season is upon us and with it there will be the inevitable increase of the backhanded compliment or, in some cases, the straightforward insult as you meet old friends and long-forgotten family members. Although, what I’m about to rant about is a year-round sport and the targets are usually us horizontally gifted folk (or the skinny ones, or the girls who doesn’t dress like Barbie, or...) and I’m wondering whether others get this too and how they deal with it.

Begin rant: You’re having a normal conversation about, say, the weather. Not food, not diet, not ANYTHING like that, just the weather. Yet somehow, the other person finds a way to deliver a variation on the following “you know, you have a really pretty face, if you lost some weight, you’d look great” or “you’re quite pretty, shame you are on the heavy side” or “you know, you really should lose weight, it’s bad for your health to be large”. And so on. WTF? It’s not like I hadn’t NOTICED that I’m overweight and I also didn’t wake up one morning and say to myself – "I know, I’ll get really fat, just to see what it’s like!"

So why in God’s name do people feel the need to a) tell me something I already know and b) make me feel pretty sh*t about myself into the bargain? I also know naturally skinny people who’ve had the “reverse” problem, getting called anorexic and stuff like that. If you inform the other party that, well, you’d rather not hear that sort of stuff, you invariably get some BS about “only trying to help / motivate / make a compliment”. Well I’ve been getting it a lot about my weight lately (ironically I’ve just lost about 20 lbs) and it’s really hurtful.

Whatever happened to “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”? Does anyone else have friends and family who are “helpful” like this? Are you “helpful” and if so, why? And finally – best comebacks?
I have always been told I am too skinny and had several rumors about me being anorexic. I was in a department store one time and a woman (who was a totally normal size) told me I was so skinny. I replied, "I just have a hard time gaining weight." and she replied, "Geez, I wish I had that problem!"
I looked her straight in the eyes and said, "Oh, you wish you had cancer???" and just stared at her....She turned bright red and tried to apologize...(I don't really have cancer, I just wanted to teach her a lesson about keeping her thoughts to herself!
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