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Old 30.03.2011, 15:50
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The Me Myself and I

You live in an other country and spend lots of money on travelling back home to visit family and friends, on VOIP bills or other phone connections so you stay in contact...

And you have those Me, Myself and I kind of person who seems to believe it is your job to do all of it to stay in contact, it is to you to spend the money to go to visit....

When you talk on the phone, they talk just about them, about what they are doing, their life, their problems. You hang up and then realised the person didn't even ask how you are...

They complain they never have money, because you know, they don't....

But they just bought the last mega gigantic tv screen or renovated the whole house, etc. And when you ask when they will come to visit? Oh! We would love to, but we can't afford it...

And if you don't want to go this year and go somewhere else, they make you feel like a selfish prick.

Do you have those people around you?

Oh, I almost forgot.... You have been living in different country and never have them to come over to visit you until you moved here? They come to see you? Nope, they come to visit the country!

Got those kind of people? I am thinking to cut my VOIP phone...

*rant over*
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Old 30.03.2011, 16:04
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Re: The Me Myself and I

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But they just bought the last mega gigantic tv screen or renovated the whole house, etc. And when you ask when they will come to visit? Oh! We would love to, but we can't afford it...


I am thinking to cut my VOIP phone...
With the money you save on Voip and travel expenses, you could buy the lastest mega gigantic tv screen or renovated the whole house, etc. !!!

Yeah, I 'used' to have one or two people like that. But they're right...... Big TV's and less mates with baggage is AWESOME !!!
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Old 30.03.2011, 16:05
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Re: The Me Myself and I

Oh that is rough...I don't have this problem with my relatives and some of my friends always ask me if I'm ok but some of them say: ''Oh in our country is so bad, I have no money, can't you find a job for me there?''...
This February when I went home for my holiday I thought I will meet 3 former Uni class mates as we agreed. I talked to them before my holiday and they were always telling me: ''Oh just call us when you get here, we can't wait to see you!''. Right, when I got in my country, I called them and I didn't see any of them, as they were busy ... I was for 3 days in the city they live but not one of them called me to fix a meeting. In the end, close to my departure date, I visited one girl at her work place and she invited me to stay over for a one night before my flight was due. I said: ''No thanks.''

Last edited by princessduck; 30.03.2011 at 16:33.
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Old 30.03.2011, 16:10
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Re: The Me Myself and I

what really pisses me off is we are EXPECTED to visit them when we go back to the UK, no matter what we have to do or how busy we are, but they won't re-arrange seeing there mates down the road, so we can't see them on x-day it will have to be y-day instead. thats ok, its not like we live 1000km away and have been driving for 10 hours, we'll just fit in round you.

Oh and when you go on holiday only an hours drive away from us, its ok, don't bother to come over and see us, its ok, no really.
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Old 30.03.2011, 16:15
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Re: The Me Myself and I

Yep! And you visiting them means to spend your whole vacation at their rythm, their program and you are just running from one family member to an other family member, from friends to ex-coworkers, classmates, etc. When you come back home you are more exausted than when you left because you have been running and seeing everybody the whole time.

And if you have the badluck to not have enough time to see e-v-e-r-y-b-o-d-y, those left out give you shit...

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Old 30.03.2011, 16:17
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Re: The Me Myself and I

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what really pisses me off is we are EXPECTED to visit them when we go back to the UK, no matter what we have to do or how busy we are, but they won't re-arrange seeing there mates down the road, so we can't see them on x-day it will have to be y-day instead. thats ok, its not like we live 1000km away and have been driving for 10 hours, we'll just fit in round you.

Oh and when you go on holiday only an hours drive away from us, its ok, don't bother to come over and see us, its ok, no really.
Oh I'm so glad its not just my family that are like this!! I feel better now. Thank you!
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Old 30.03.2011, 16:26
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Re: The Me Myself and I

I have actually had this problem with almost every new place I move to, to some extent. So I do know exactly how you feel.

In some cases it maybe genuine poverty, but mostly I find that some people just don't like "Change" to their world and they think it's just too hard to stay in contact. Apathy and Laziness.

However, there are quite a few cases where although I don't stay in contact with some of my mates..... when we do catch up, it's like 'not a day' has passed (except the stories are better).

I feel very fortunate that I will have a lot of friends and family visiting me this year over the Summer.
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Old 30.03.2011, 16:30
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Re: The Me Myself and I

Your story struck a nerve with me. I know what you are going through and, believe me, I sympathize. I wish I had some kind of wise words but I don’t.

It is amazing the bubble some people live in. It can make life frustrating and depressing because all they see is what they want to see and that’s it. My problem is not about me visiting and not about different countries but it involves the same selfish egocentrism. My brother has two kids that my dad hasn’t seen in several years because my brother is a dick. I was trying very, very hard to arrange something in the summer (after school, before camp) so that everyone could get together where we grew up: my dad would have time with the grandkids and the kids could see where their dad grew up. There were great prices on flights to the US in January so I could have gotten a great price. It was one excuse after another and then came: well, we can’t really afford to because after going up to Seattle for the swim meet, we’ll really need a break so we’re going for a week and a half to a beach resort in Mexico. My jaw hit the ground hard, smoke started rising from my ears like the contaminated steam from Fukushima’s reactor 3. This is after having digitalized old movies from our childhood because “family is so important” and contacting a cousin 4 times removed about a family tree because “family is so important”. It still raises my radiation level when I think about it, especially because it isn’t going to change and it is entirely up to me to find some way of bringing the family together. Sigh. OK. Now my rant is over. Feels good sometimes – the anonymous forum rant.
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Old 30.03.2011, 16:33
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Re: The Me Myself and I

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In some cases it maybe genuine poverty, but mostly I find that some people just don't like "Change" to their world and they think it's just too hard to stay in contact. Apathy and Laziness.
I have some family and friends that honestly can't afford any trips at all. Those are not the one who complains. Those who complains are the one that spend lots of money on lots of things but can't afford a trip to come to visit. They have enough money to go to the beach in the south thought!
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Old 30.03.2011, 16:45
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Re: The Me Myself and I

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Oh and when you go on holiday only an hours drive away from us, its ok, don't bother to come over and see us, its ok, no really.
Yein. Don't forget people's geography can be rusty. It isn't just the Americans who can't figure out the arse from the elbow of Europe...

As for the rest, yes.

Same old story that DB's posted on. Friends who stay back home usually have a totally different take on like. From that perspective, being an expat can be quite liberating...

...and you can spend time bitching and moaning on places like EF...

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Old 30.03.2011, 16:52
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Re: The Me Myself and I

Sadly, sometimes it's only a funeral that brings people back together again then it's too late.

People always find money and time to get together after death but rarely in life. Sad.
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Old 30.03.2011, 16:56
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Re: The Me Myself and I

there is also a lot of "you live in switzerland, you're rich" as well
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Old 30.03.2011, 20:37
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Re: The Me Myself and I

Since when are you in contact with my family Nil????
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Old 30.03.2011, 20:43
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Re: The Me Myself and I

When I read your post Nil, I thought in some random way you were talking about me there !

I have had a hole in my heart for the last 2 years due to circumstances and I don't think it will ever get better.

I am not going to bleat on about it nor am I looking for any sympathy but wanted to say thanks for starting this one.

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Old 01.04.2011, 17:52
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Re: The Me Myself and I

Funny how families are similar everywhere. I've been living overseas continuously since 2005 and only in the last year have gotten over feeling hurt when I fly halfway across the world to visit siblings who suddenly have a really packed weekend schedule and very little time for me. My middle brother who moved to Spain last year has just had the same experience being back in the US and making a short trip to see them in Portland. On the flip side, as we get older everyone seems to make a little more money and last summer my parents and youngest brother actually made it out to Europe... Definitely hoping for more of that in the future since becoming a bit more thickskinned means I'm less enthusiastic about bending over backwards to make the effort on my own.
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Old 01.04.2011, 19:24
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Re: The Me Myself and I

i am blessed with the best parents one could ask for. they'd do (and they do) anything for us, give us everything and their biggest concern is not to say/do something that might slightly upset us...

i'm also lucky enough to have some good friends who genuinely care about me and how my life is here and they understand if i don't have time to see them everytime i go back to greece (altough i always do, as this is what i want. but just knowing that it would be ok not to see them lifts a weight off my heart)

and then there are the others. good friends or just people i know for years, who just don't get it. they pretend that they so much look forward to see you and then they don't change their schedule at alll, so that you can meet. on the contrary, they try to put you in a corner until you adjust yourself acccording to their schedule
"but come on, don't you have time on tuesday? not even half an hour??"
well, first of, it's NEvEer just half an hour. also, i need some time between reaching our meeting place and getting back home. because, of course, the meeting place has to be convenient for them.

*breathes*

i usually go back for one week minimum. a couple of times i happened to go back for 3-4 days only and -since it would be impossible to see everyone- i thought i had a brilliant idea! i informed everyone that on certain night i would be at this place from 7 onward and whoever wanted to see me was more than welcome! would you think anyone else apart from my very dear friends that i would see anyway bothered to come? Noooo! they wanted to meet "alone with me" or had other arrangmement or, or, or....

*breathes*
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Old 01.04.2011, 23:01
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Re: The Me Myself and I

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Selfish more likely... How about you compromise. Meet somewhere between Zurich and Milan?
Between Zurich and Milan?? What, like somewhere in Kanton Schwyz?

Maybe I am still fuming but the past couple of days, I feel as if I am ready to ditch this friendship. The only reason that I am holding on is that she's been a really good friend. She makes the effort to include me in alot of stuff happening back home with videos / photos etc, we talk almost every week etc (and she didnt call me like she usually does today ) I just cant seem to get my head around this incident. Bear with me, since I cant bitch outright on FB
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Old 02.04.2011, 22:07
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Re: The Me Myself and I

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Do you have those people around you?
Yes,I have! all relationships turn 'selfish' in some form or the other at some stage.

Also I believe there is a lot of generation gap that goes into these issues hence they are always more complex to deal with. 'Kids' would always feel their parents expect a lot from them, Parents will always remember the sacrifices they did for their upbringing. So no matter how much you care, it is always less.
Also I a
gree one can not choose parents, one could only wish to have less selfish more understanding parents.. The other side is you don't have them for lifetime, so cherish and give the selfless love, lead by example..you would always feel proud and happy to look back.

on the side note,

'Money' could be just an excuse they give you all the time, possibly there could be fear of flight /other anxieties that you get at old age..etc over coming to a new place, So don't disconnect your VOIP just continue the good work .




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Old 04.05.2011, 08:20
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Re: The Me Myself and I

How funny,

A friend of mine found out that we are moving away and where we are moving.

Her reaction?

-Finally a place I would like to visit...

I feel like I will be out of town when she is going to plan her trip...
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Old 04.05.2011, 11:15
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Re: The Me Myself and I

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Her reaction?

-Finally a place I would like to visit...
Your friend does have a point, though
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