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  #21  
Old 07.04.2011, 11:51
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Re: Someone is trying to save my soul!

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Old 07.04.2011, 11:54
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Re: Someone is trying to save my soul!

I have something of a soft spot for the neighborhood JW.

She's a nice older lady. I often run into her when out walking the dogs, she joins me for a bit, chats about the weather, gardening, family goings-on, current events, the coming end times and the state of my eternal soul... but in a laid back, respectful very Swiss way.

So I don't share her beliefs - no reason to reject a friendly overture though. She knows I have different religious convictions, seems to accept that we can agree to disagree. I look at our chats as a good opportunity to practice my German, expand my vocabulary.

In all the years I've lived here, she is the only person who has invited me to use the 'Du' form. OK, maybe she has an agenda, but at least I feel integrated...
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Old 07.04.2011, 12:06
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Re: Someone is trying to save my soul!

Whenever I have time, I love torturing them for hours. I know much more about their cr@p than they do, because my AOH was a JW for many years, although she left them before we met, losing all her friends.

The degree of brain washing is incredible, and so is the pressure (knocking doors, reading all the colorful and sugary nonsense brochures, attending meetings etc.). They are trained to know nothing but their own stuff, and their jaws drop to their waist line when I give them the answers they should give me according to their little answer books. It's hilarious each and every time.
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Old 07.04.2011, 12:17
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Re: Someone is trying to save my soul!

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You see, it's urgent.

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Old 07.04.2011, 12:20
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Re: Someone is trying to save my soul!

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Whenever I have time, I love torturing them for hours. I know much more about their cr@p than they do, because my AOH was a JW for many years, although she left them before we met, losing all her friends.

The degree of brain washing is incredible, and so is the pressure (knocking doors, reading all the colorful and sugary nonsense brochures, attending meetings etc.). They are trained to know nothing but their own stuff, and their jaws drop to their waist line when I give them the answers they should give me according to their little answer books. It's hilarious each and every time.
I was in Milan 2 years ago. My grandma and her sister ( who is a JW) came to visit and my aunt was very isnisting (to the point of annoyance) to go to Milan and see the Scala, etc.

So we went. We took this tour bus and whatevar. First stop el doumo: She can't go into temples so she stays outside, remarking "but you are an atheist, what do you even care about going to a church?" like the architecture should lost menaing.

In any case, at the end of the tour is the last supper. Which is made in the "cafeteria" of an old church or whatever. So the whole point of her visit, seeing the last supper, was suddenly stopped when she thought it was still inside "holy" ground.

Here is how her statements happened:

S0: I want to see the last supper, it is one of the greatest things on art, etc.
S1: Wait... it's made inside a church?
S2: Meh, I've seen it on TV , it's not that great, ill just wait here, nevermind the trip to come see it .
S3: So it's not inside a church anymore?
S4: I want to see the last supper, it is one of the greatest things on art, etc. (Yes S0 again.)
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  #26  
Old 07.04.2011, 12:22
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Re: Someone is trying to save my soul!

In my experience, coming across proselytising material has been limited to three sects: Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons (both appearing as pairs of proseltysers) and Seventh Day Adventists (flyer talking about La Grande Controverse--The Great Controversy, but hiding the fact that the source is SDA).

These three are well-known sects that started in the US in the 19th century under a strong leader receiving a special revelation or a "prophet". Although all three are unrelated, it is interesting that they all come from the same country.

It is also interesting to note that I get no visits from the local Protestant or Catholic Church. I am very glad that they leave the choice of association to me.
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Old 07.04.2011, 12:30
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Re: Someone is trying to save my soul!

Advice to Nil: if they come to you and ring, wear a burka (any black bedsheet should be enough), open slightly the door and speak with a strong foreign accent in german: "my husband not want me open door strangers. go away."
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Old 07.04.2011, 13:26
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Re: Someone is trying to save my soul!

Just tell then you belong to THIS church... The church of KFC....
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  #29  
Old 07.04.2011, 13:29
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Re: Someone is trying to save my soul!

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Just tell then you belong to THIS church... The church of KFC....
Finger Lickin' God.
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  #30  
Old 07.04.2011, 14:06
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Re: Someone is trying to save my soul!

I met one of those little Jehovah guys when I was walking home last night, wanted to tell me about god, No thanks was fine, very polite continued with the journey.

On a more interesting note my cousin believes in that Quaker stuff and he's getting married in September to a Hindu, but my Aunt is a Muslim, the rest of my family are from mixture of catholic and protestant Scottish back grounds, you can't get much more multi-cultural than that, I'm going to wear my kilt and carry a scimitar!
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  #31  
Old 07.04.2011, 14:23
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Re: Someone is trying to save my soul!



From about 4:05... Bernard Black encounters JWs.
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  #32  
Old 07.04.2011, 14:56
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Re: Someone is trying to save my soul!

I usually stare at them for a second and then say something in the line of: You are some sort of Protestant, aren't you? Then louder: Woe to my foolish shepherd who forsakes the flock! May the sword fall upon his arm and upon his right eye; Let his arm wither away entirely, and his right eye be blind forever! (Zech. 11:17)

Then I excuse myself and tell him I have to get my family longsword.
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Old 07.04.2011, 14:57
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Re: Someone is trying to save my soul!

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i usually stare at them for a second and then say something in the line of: You are some sort of protestant, aren't you? Then louder: Woe to my foolish shepherd who forsakes the flock! May the sword fall upon his arm and upon his right eye; let his arm wither away entirely, and his right eye be blind forever! (zech. 11:17)

then i excuse myself and tell him i have to get my family longsword.


nutter !!!
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  #34  
Old 07.04.2011, 15:03
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Re: Someone is trying to save my soul!

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nutter !!!
I am trying to integrate. Where I live, the canton summons the Schwyzer inquisition to hunt down Jehovah's Witnesses (or so I've heard).
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  #35  
Old 07.04.2011, 15:05
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Re: Someone is trying to save my soul!

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I usually stare at them for a second and then say something in the line of: You are some sort of Protestant, aren't you? Then louder: Woe to my foolish shepherd who forsakes the flock! May the sword fall upon his arm and upon his right eye; Let his arm wither away entirely, and his right eye be blind forever! (Zech. 11:17)

Then I excuse myself and tell him I have to get my family longsword.

Brilliant!! I shall print this and hang it by my door.
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  #36  
Old 07.04.2011, 15:14
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Re: Someone is trying to save my soul!

Have to say, I've found the JWs in Switzerland (and Austria) much pleasanter and less insistent than those back home. Very friendly people and willing to accept no for an answer, which is all I ask really. In return I try to let them down gently but unequivocally: I accept a pamphlet while stating clearly that I'm not interested and do not want to pursue it further. They can comfort themselves they've done their best, perhaps planted a seed that will one day grow etc. etc. and at the same time they don't need to worry whether they owe me a follow-up visit.

As for this:
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The thing that really bothered me was that she had a boy with her - he didn't look much older than 7.
Try and stretch your mind a bit, see it from her perspective. If you believe God wants you to spread his message and that the best way to do it is door-to-door (and she obviously does believe that, else she wouldn't be out there) then why on earth wouldn't you take your son along?

I mean, if you went out to do anything else meritorious and age-appropriate - recycling, volunteering at an animal shelter, singing Christmas carols at an old folks' home - you'd take the kids, right?
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  #37  
Old 07.04.2011, 15:14
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Re: Someone is trying to save my soul!

Thanks Guys for the good laugh!


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Advice to Nil: if they come to you and ring, wear a burka (any black bedsheet should be enough), open slightly the door and speak with a strong foreign accent in german: "my husband not want me open door strangers. go away."
Ouf! I was scared to not have the proper accessories but if the bedsheet can do the trick, I'll give it a try!


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I met one of those little Jehovah guys when I was walking home last night, wanted to tell me about god, No thanks was fine, very polite continued with the journey.

On a more interesting note my cousin believes in that Quaker stuff and he's getting married in September to a Hindu, but my Aunt is a Muslim, the rest of my family are from mixture of catholic and protestant Scottish back grounds, you can't get much more multi-cultural than that, I'm going to wear my kilt and carry a scimitar!
Now you just need the circoncision and you are all settle!
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  #38  
Old 07.04.2011, 15:20
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Re: Someone is trying to save my soul!

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Thanks Guys for the good laugh!

Ouf! I was scared to not have the proper accessories but if the bedsheet can do the trick, I'll give it a try!
But didn't you go to a Catholic school? You should remember the exorcism texts you surely had to learn by heart... easily as good as a burqua: "Sancte Míchael Archángele, defénde nos in proélio contra nequítiam et insídias diáboli esto præsídium. Imperet illi Deus, súpplices deprecámur: tuque, princeps milítiæ cæléstis, Sátanam aliósque spíritus malígnos, qui ad perditiónem animárum pervagántur in mundo, divína virtúte, In inférnum detrude. Amen "
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Old 07.04.2011, 15:31
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Re: Someone is trying to save my soul!

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But didn't you go to a Catholic school? You should remember the exorcism texts you surely had to learn by heart... easily as good as a burqua: "Sancte Míchael Archángele, defénde nos in proélio contra nequítiam et insídias diáboli esto præsídium. Imperet illi Deus, súpplices deprecámur: tuque, princeps milítiæ cæléstis, Sátanam aliósque spíritus malígnos, qui ad perditiónem animárum pervagántur in mundo, divína virtúte, In inférnum detrude. Amen "
Surely I should wippe my back in the same time?
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Old 07.04.2011, 15:35
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Re: Someone is trying to save my soul!

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"Sancte Míchael Archángele, defénde nos in proélio contra nequítiam et insídias diáboli esto præsídium. Imperet illi Deus, súpplices deprecámur: tuque, princeps milítiæ cæléstis, Sátanam aliósque spíritus malígnos, qui ad perditiónem animárum pervagántur in mundo, divína virtúte, In inférnum detrude. Amen "
Hello?
Erm, what's happeneing?
Who are all you people and why do I have over 2000 posts?
I only popped in to ask about brown sugar, and the next thing I remeber is having a weird taste in my mouth and 2000 posts to my name. ANd what's with all the breen bogey-looking things by my name?
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