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Old 08.04.2011, 19:21
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If you agree that I was verbally abused where do I report this doctor?

I took my daughter to our general practitioner for her allergies second time this week.
Since she is 17 years old she is capable of answering questions that GP was asking and conversation was mainly between those two while I was quietly sitting nearby and once in a while will pop an or question when needed. Meantime I had my blackberry on a silent mode yet occasionally was checking for missed calls or emails from work since I left a little early and was expecting an email and cal from my boss.
What happens next is un-be-li-vable! I was reporting to the GP that earlier I took my daughter to an eye doctor since I assumed there was an eye infection besides just purely allergies as GP suggested and I just finished that sentence when GP shouted at me louder and louder with each word saying :’’ you are talking to me and checking your emails !!! This I will not take from you!! You are in my office and you did this last time too I cannot stand this!!! AAAA!!! We are talking about your daughter!!!!! Get out of my office and check you emails in the waiting room!!! You cannot be in here and keep checking your emails!!! You should learn if you want to be here than do not ever use your phone anymore!

So I was pretty shocked, embarrassed yet did not feel that I deserved this but I raised my eye brow and politely told him told him I wasn’t on the phone neither he was directly talking to me when I was glancing over my emails rather he was mostly ignoring me anyways.. and I told him very politely again that I am not a student in the classroom and he is not my teacher to shout at me. I also told him that he could politely asked me and I might of considered to put my phone in my bag.
We continued the remaining time discussing my daughters condition however when it was the time to leave I asked my daughter to leave the room for a few minutes since I felt that I couldn’t leave without explaining him what I thought is the right thing to do so I started with:


Me:- I think you owe me an apology you had no rights to shout at me in front of my daughter!
Him:- yes I absolutely do have the rights!!!!!
Me:- and what right is that?

Him:- you are in my office!
Me: -and? ! How do you know that I don’t have something very important to keep my eye on by checking my emails ? Besides who gave you rights to talk to me like that in front of my child? And what was that feeling of guilt that you were trying to bring in to this conversation?
Him:- (again raising voice ) you are an adult and you should know that you do not go to lawyers or doctors’ offices and check your phone constantly!!!!
Me:- and you are an adult and you know that your behavior is unprofessional, and that you do not treat anyone like this just because they are in your office!
Him:- please leave my office !!!
Me:- not only will I leave your office I will also report you!



My question is where do I report him? I will sick for another GP of course but I also think it will be a good lesson for him to learn to control himself. If he would have only politely asked me please not to use the phone I might of consider to agree with him but shouting like crazy and making me feel guilty as if I don’t care about my daughter I think this is very close to an abuse category what do you guys think?

I suspect that he got pissed of that I assumed correctly that my daughter has eye infection rather just an allergy and that I found an eye doctor without his help….Our pathetic ‘’doctor’’ even made negative comments about the eye drops that my daughter was prescribed by an eye doctor saying that it is not an antibiotic and it is old LOL he was trying to sell us stuff that did not help and each time we would leave with 7-8 different allergy pills, drops, creams, sprays etc.,
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  #2  
Old 08.04.2011, 19:23
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Re: If you agree that I was verbally abused where do I report this doctor?

Just curious, did his office somewhere not too obscure have a sign like this by any chance?



It does seem to be an overreaction on the physician's part.
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Old 08.04.2011, 19:30
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Re: If you agree that I was verbally abused where do I report this doctor?

Two mistakes from your side:

- telling him that you went to eye doctor because you thought there is more than allergy ---> somehow you challenged his diagnosis and competence.
- checking your phone during the visit --> maybe you did not listen to what he was saying while your were checking your email.

So maybe exagerated reaction, should not have shouted but I'd say he's basically right.
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Old 08.04.2011, 19:32
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Re: If you agree that I was verbally abused where do I report this doctor?

If you hadn't had your phone with you, would your whole attention have been on what was going on with your daughter and her doctor?

I agree the doctor shouldn't have yelled at you in front of your daughter... but I think you should have respected the need to actually "be there" for her visit, otherwise you could have waited in the waiting room, no?

Last edited by Peg A; 08.04.2011 at 20:18. Reason: goodness, where was my brain!
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Old 08.04.2011, 19:34
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Re: If you agree that I was verbally abused where do I report this doctor?

How long was this doctor's appointment? It couldn't have been more than 20 minutes. Can you really not go 20 minutes without checking your email? And if your important email had come in during the visit, what would you have done - answered it right there in the doctor's office?

There exists a thing called professional courtesy, where out of respect for certain professions one normally refrains from the activity you were engaged in. You crossed a social line and were called out on it. Perhaps you caught this doctor out on a bad day, but I'm sure if you are doing this all the time there are many others who would have loved to do exactly what this doctor did.
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Old 08.04.2011, 19:35
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Re: If you agree that I was verbally abused where do I report this doctor?

Do you know any doctors or nurses personally? Ask around! This behaviour isn't very unusual!

Most 17 year old girls could visit the doctor by themselves.
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Old 08.04.2011, 19:38
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Re: If you agree that I was verbally abused where do I report this doctor?

The doctor shouldn't have shouted at you, but you did behave in an atrociously rude manner, so I think you really got what you deserved.

I'd find another doctor, and remember to leave my toys in my handbag when sitting in his office.
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Old 08.04.2011, 19:38
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Re: If you agree that I was verbally abused where do I report this doctor?

I'm sorry, I agree with the dr. You are an adult and thus he shouldn't have had to tell you to put the phone away. He may have gone a bit over the top. But really, you can't wait 20 minutes to check your email? They don't call it "crackberry" for nothing.
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Old 08.04.2011, 19:38
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Re: If you agree that I was verbally abused where do I report this doctor?

Haven't got time for in depth analysis, but on initial reading I think that even "important" e-mails can wait for 15-20 mins (or whatever the consultation time was) - what were you going to do if you received one? - you couldn't exactly sit there and tap out a reply? .... so in my opinion you should have left your phone in your bag and concentrated on your daughters' consultation - which should have been more important to you.

Maybe his response was a bit hysterically Germanic, but you wouldn't have got it if your phone was away. He wanted to be taken seriously, like any professional. Just do a bit of role reversal and think if you were back at work and someone was doing the same to you.

No .... I'm with the doc (to a degree) on this one, although he needs to greatly improve his bedside manner.

If its such a big deal then change doctors, but don't complain because of your mis-placed priorities.

[I had a similar outburst from my daughters school dentist, when all I did was offer words of support whilst he was drilling a tooth without an anaesthetic (novocaine), and it was becoming quite painful. After he shouted at me (and like you I got ..."This is my office and I'm the chief here") we just walked - he was also dentist for my wife and I)]

EDIT: slow typing gets me again - when I started there were no replies, but funny how the posts are similar.
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Old 08.04.2011, 19:39
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Re: If you agree that I was verbally abused where do I report this doctor?

My god... you people have been in CH way too long. Even if there was a sign saying no mobile phones, in what world is it OK for a doctor to start yelling at the parent of a patient?? At minimum it is highly unprofessional. As I was not there, I can't judge if it was abusive.

But I would NEVER set foot back in this Drs office. And I might report him if he is part of a clinic. At least I would tell them WHY I am changing to see if this is a common occurrence.

fduvall
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Old 08.04.2011, 19:40
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Re: If you agree that I was verbally abused where do I report this doctor?

I think this is a case of lack of communication on both sides.

As jrspet mentioned it is usual for mobile phones not to be allowed in doctor's surgeries. Whilst you had it on silent, the doctor may have considered that you were not paying attention to his remarks.

His reaction seems to have been over the top, even if he was in the right.

Perhaps the best thing would have been to have mentioned at the start that you were expecting an urgent email and would it be OK to check occasionally.
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Old 08.04.2011, 19:42
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Re: If you agree that I was verbally abused where do I report this doctor?

There is a related thread here:

Where/How to issue a formal complaint against a doctor (Lausanne)
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Old 08.04.2011, 19:52
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Re: If you agree that I was verbally abused where do I report this doctor?

I think the Dr was rude and out of order, but I also think you need to get your priorities in order. What is more important to you, your daughters health or an e-mail from your boss? If I had kids I know what the answer to that would be.... E-mails can wait...
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Old 08.04.2011, 19:53
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Re: If you agree that I was verbally abused where do I report this doctor?

No, it's not professional that the doctor shouted at you like you're a dog, but I don't think you should report him.

I can see how it's embarrassing to be told off infront of your daughter, but I think you should just let it go, move on. He was wrong to do that, but you were in the wrong too. It is a doctor doing his job... I think if I was a doctor, I would also be annoyed at somebody using their phone whilst I was giving my time to help and give advice.

I once received a phonecall whilst in the queue at the post office, when I arrived to be served, the lady at the desk told me she wouldn't serve me whilst I was on the phone, and fair enough.

If it was me, I'd let it go and admit to my daughter that I shouldn't have been faffing with my phone, however the doctor could have been a bit more discreet and professional, so next time, you'll choose another doctor....
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Old 08.04.2011, 19:57
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Re: If you agree that I was verbally abused where do I report this doctor?

I'm usually "all ears" when my son is at the doctor and give my full attention. Work is definitely not more important than that.

Strange that a doctor got all shouty about it. Maybe he's had a string of inattentive patients this week?
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Old 08.04.2011, 19:58
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Re: If you agree that I was verbally abused where do I report this doctor?

There is a HUGE different between a major surgical mistake/accident and a tired and stressed Dr (who might have been on call last night, and been called on emergencies and other stuff during the day + busy surgery- who knows?) who sligthly 'lost it' after very rude behaviour from a patient's mother. Using a phone/internet during a consultation shows real lack of respect. And seeing a GP twice in a week + another Dr for a second opinion - is also a bit over the top. If you suspected an eye infection, why did you not discuss this with him first? I am not surprised your going elsewhere within days, then returning to him again within days to 'confront him' with another Dr's diagnosis, rattled his cage and seemed to indicate you don't trust him anyway.

Agreed, he should NOT have shouted at you though- but even Doctors are human. Your complaint will go absolutely nowhere in such a case I'm afraid.
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Old 08.04.2011, 20:04
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Re: If you agree that I was verbally abused where do I report this doctor?

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Him:- please leave my office !!!
Me:- not only will I leave your office I will also report you!

He said "Please"


I suspect that he got pissed of that I assumed correctly that my daughter has eye infection rather just an allergy and that I found an eye doctor without his help….Our pathetic ‘’doctor’’ even made negative comments about the eye drops that my daughter was prescribed by an eye doctor saying that it is not an antibiotic and it is old LOL he was trying to sell us stuff that did not help and each time we would leave with 7-8 different allergy pills, drops, creams, sprays etc.,
Why do you need a doctor in the first place,you know everything better then a doctor. Now get of the Phone

Last edited by cannut; 09.04.2011 at 01:25.
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Old 08.04.2011, 20:07
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Re: If you agree that I was verbally abused where do I report this doctor?

In my defense people, please understand that he was upset that I was right about my daughter having an eye infection rather than just an allergy as he diagnosed her.
He mainly was taking to my daughter and wouldn’t even look at me when I speak up! It wasn’t as if he was talking to me and I was on my mobile. I think he gets paid or rebated when he refers patients to other doctors and he got his commissions cut off J
I think you people are sick thinking that you should take this kind of behavior from anyone..
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Old 08.04.2011, 20:10
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Re: If you agree that I was verbally abused where do I report this doctor?

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Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway
Calm down, everything is going to be alright. Everyone agrees the doc shouldn't have yelled, eh?

It just strikes most of us as odd that you would be checking emails on your phone during your daughter's exam. Heck, maybe your 17 year old was annoyed that Mom was there and you were trying to keep low, we weren't there. You know. As for the doc being upset about you diagnosing things, that's always touchy.
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Old 08.04.2011, 20:11
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Re: If you agree that I was verbally abused where do I report this doctor?

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I think you people are sick thinking that you should take this kind of behavior from anyone..
I don't recall saying you should accept his behaviour
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