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Old 01.06.2011, 18:54
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Sick of ignorant people [insensitive remarks of bystanders]

I have posted on here before about my daughters condition, (Alopecia Areata, an auto immune disorder that attacks health hair leading to moderate or severe hair loss) she is 4 and has now almost completely lost her hair, apart from a few strands.

Being 4 means that she is not so bothered by the condition, not for now at least, but it's far more traumatic for me to watch it happen, with next to nothing I can do about it. My main problem is people reactions to it.

I understand that people can be curious, it's not normal to see a small child with no hair. Apart from the Alopecia she is a perfectly normal bouncy 4 year old who loves to do everything else other 4 year old's do. I try and manage her hair loss by buying pretty hats and head scarves (bandannahs), which she loves. This works most of the time, but the other day we went swimming in Germany, the amount of stares I got was unbelievable. However this one German woman came over and just started quizzing me about her.....is she sick? does she have cancer, what is this condition, when explained, it was almost as if she didn't believe me because she had never heard of it, and I was quite astounded by her rude ignorance.......I just feel there will be lots more of that........ho hum......but next time I will be armed with a swift Bu88er off......
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Old 01.06.2011, 19:13
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Re: Sick of ignorant people [insensitive remarks of bystanders]

Part of it is the natural curiosity humans have...a bald 4yo, well, that's different and the condition is fairly rare (maybe you should carry a DVD of Grey Gardens with you ) so the reactions you're going to get are going to run the gamut of stoic to rude with shades of jerkoff inbetween.

Just smile as there's nothing much more to do once you've explained the condition. You expect the occasional socially inept idiot in the US, but it seems as though around here that if your child doesn't conform to the very well-defined mold that, well, you're an alien of a wholly different kind.

I hope her condition improves.
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Old 01.06.2011, 19:19
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Re: Sick of ignorant people [insensitive remarks of bystanders]

Unfortunately for you and your daughter, most people are morons. I wish your daughter luck, but I think her condition will mean she'll grow up to be stronger and wiser than the sheep around her and better able to cope with this and anything else that life throws her way.
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Old 01.06.2011, 19:30
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Re: Sick of ignorant people [insensitive remarks of bystanders]

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I have posted on here before about my daughters condition, (Alopecia Areata, an auto immune disorder that attacks health hair leading to moderate or severe hair loss) she is 4 and has now almost completely lost her hair, apart from a few strands.

Being 4 means that she is not so bothered by the condition, not for now at least, but it's far more traumatic for me to watch it happen, with next to nothing I can do about it. My main problem is people reactions to it.

I understand that people can be curious, it's not normal to see a small child with no hair. Apart from the Alopecia she is a perfectly normal bouncy 4 year old who loves to do everything else other 4 year old's do. I try and manage her hair loss by buying pretty hats and head scarves (bandannahs), which she loves. This works most of the time, but the other day we went swimming in Germany, the amount of stares I got was unbelievable. However this one German woman came over and just started quizzing me about her.....is she sick? does she have cancer, what is this condition, when explained, it was almost as if she didn't believe me because she had never heard of it, and I was quite astounded by her rude ignorance.......I just feel there will be lots more of that........ho hum......but next time I will be armed with a swift Bu88er off......
Yes we're in a similar situation, and it's not that people care (if they did they wouldn't ask), and I just want to scream - "it's not your beeping business!"...people has no limit when it comes to settle their curiosity...
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Old 01.06.2011, 20:22
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Re: Sick of ignorant people [insensitive remarks of bystanders]

A friend of my daughter has the same conditon and was ridiculed for years at school...
Untill she shaved off the strands and got an ultra cool tat, through this she got the female equivelent of cast-iron balls, lots of self confidence and a fkuc oyu attitude.
Somehow it always works out, wish you luck.
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Old 01.06.2011, 20:28
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Re: Sick of ignorant people [insensitive remarks of bystanders]

Although this German woman seems to have been a bit brash and thoughtless in the way she asked about your daughter's condition I have heard from people (there was a documentary on a few weeks ago about people with a variety of disfigurements and unusual features) who said they actually preferred people asking them about it rather than just standing there and staring at them.

They said that children were the best at it because they didn't try to dress up their questions or go all round the houses to find out about their condition or injury; they just came straight out and asked them.

In addition, if your daughter sees you dealing with people in a matter of fact kind of way, it will show her how to deal with questions when she's older and has to face these people alone.
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Old 01.06.2011, 20:28
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Re: Sick of ignorant people [insensitive remarks of bystanders]

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when explained, it was almost as if she didn't believe me because she had never heard of it,
What an ignorant b1tch, as we say in Spanish "la ignorancia es atrevida" which means "ignorance is brave" so just because she does not know it, it doesn^t exist...gee. Sorry about what you have to face, next time just push people inside the pool
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Old 01.06.2011, 20:37
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Re: Sick of ignorant people [insensitive remarks of bystanders]

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I have posted on here before about my daughters condition, (Alopecia Areata, an auto immune disorder that attacks health hair leading to moderate or severe hair loss) she is 4 and has now almost completely lost her hair, apart from a few strands.

Being 4 means that she is not so bothered by the condition, not for now at least, but it's far more traumatic for me to watch it happen, with next to nothing I can do about it. My main problem is people reactions to it.

I understand that people can be curious, it's not normal to see a small child with no hair. Apart from the Alopecia she is a perfectly normal bouncy 4 year old who loves to do everything else other 4 year old's do. I try and manage her hair loss by buying pretty hats and head scarves (bandannahs), which she loves. This works most of the time, but the other day we went swimming in Germany, the amount of stares I got was unbelievable. However this one German woman came over and just started quizzing me about her.....is she sick? does she have cancer, what is this condition, when explained, it was almost as if she didn't believe me because she had never heard of it, and I was quite astounded by her rude ignorance.......I just feel there will be lots more of that........ho hum......but next time I will be armed with a swift Bu88er off......
People can be so ignorant and inconsiderent, how dare the German lady
be so rude i would of told her what was wrong and then sod off.
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Old 01.06.2011, 21:14
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Re: Sick of ignorant people [insensitive remarks of bystanders]

Quote:
Although this German woman seems to have been a bit brash and thoughtless in the way she asked about your daughter's condition I have heard from people (there was a documentary on a few weeks ago about people with a variety of disfigurements and unusual features) who said they actually preferred people asking them about it rather than just standing there and staring at them.

They said that children were the best at it because they didn't try to dress up their questions or go all round the houses to find out about their condition or injury; they just came straight out and asked them.

In addition, if your daughter sees you dealing with people in a matter of fact kind of way, it will show her how to deal with questions when she's older and has to face these people alone.

I agree with what you say, but, she was a kid having fun at the swimming pool, not a suitable time for quizzing me about her.....just let the kid have fun and **** off is my opinion.
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Old 01.06.2011, 21:22
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Re: Sick of ignorant people [insensitive remarks of bystanders]

A friend has alopecia. A guy, and he shaves any remaining strands away to be bald. I really feel you and your daughter having to deal with ignorant people's reactions.

My little girl was born with torticollis (wry neck) and a misaligned neck and she ended up in a helmet for a few months. I got a hat and covered it up and got on with things without the looks but sometimes had to remove the hat when it was too warm. I didn't mind people staring - they all did, but I minded the whispering and comments from insensitive people. I had a girl run and call her friends to come and look at her I think it is worse when people make assumptions about the condition. We got "did she bump/crack their head?" a few times A friend has a little boy with a lazy eye and someone in Starbucks came running up to her and said "your boy has a lazy eye" like she didn't know about it.

The day that a little girl about 7 years old asked me why she was wearing the helmet I was thankful. I explained why she was wearing it and thanked her for asking and not just staring and talking about us.

Next will be the belly button removal (hernia not closing). We get a few shocking looks now it sticks out, so image when there isn't one
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Old 01.06.2011, 21:36
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Re: Sick of ignorant people [insensitive remarks of bystanders]

Its difficult i feel for you also.

I know my daughter is becoming more aware of her condition by a few things she has said recently. I have discovered a company in New Zealand that have designed a hair piece especially for Alopecia sufferers that allows them to live a normal life, swim, play etc without the worry of any embarrassing incidents of wigs falling off etc. Her hair has always grown back but there is no sign of any regrowth so I feel this is the next step, as I don't want to go down the medical route (I feel she is too young) yet, not that there is much available anyway. So hopefully this will keep the ignorant lot at bay....
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Old 01.06.2011, 21:36
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Re: Sick of ignorant people [insensitive remarks of bystanders]

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I have posted on here before about my daughters condition, (Alopecia Areata, an auto immune disorder that attacks health hair leading to moderate or severe hair loss) she is 4 and has now almost completely lost her hair, apart from a few strands.

Being 4 means that she is not so bothered by the condition, not for now at least, but it's far more traumatic for me to watch it happen, with next to nothing I can do about it. My main problem is people reactions to it.

I understand that people can be curious, it's not normal to see a small child with no hair. Apart from the Alopecia she is a perfectly normal bouncy 4 year old who loves to do everything else other 4 year old's do. I try and manage her hair loss by buying pretty hats and head scarves (bandannahs), which she loves. This works most of the time, but the other day we went swimming in Germany, the amount of stares I got was unbelievable. However this one German woman came over and just started quizzing me about her.....is she sick? does she have cancer, what is this condition, when explained, it was almost as if she didn't believe me because she had never heard of it, and I was quite astounded by her rude ignorance.......I just feel there will be lots more of that........ho hum......but next time I will be armed with a swift Bu88er off......
It is surprising how insensitive people can be.
I really feel bad about how you, as an adult who understands the world, must feel. Let alone your child, who, until now, probably does not fully understand how the world works.
All I can say is you are her gateway to the world. And you need to give her the strength and attitude she needs.

Eventually, like slammer said, she will be ultra-cool.
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Old 01.06.2011, 21:56
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Re: Sick of ignorant people [insensitive remarks of bystanders]

I would focus my energy towards my daughter. She will grow older and more aware of her surroundings very soon, and you will be able to help her to embrace her difference and cope with more "german ladies" reactions to ensure it doesn´t cause her any problem in future. I think that is much more important that giving any second thoughts to an ignorant bored lady.

My best wishes to both of you
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