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Old 04.08.2011, 13:22
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a Lungenliga rant

Just godda do a likkle rant here, not too big an issue for most I suppose but it brought me to white heat yesterday.
Talk about being $$$witzerlanded!
And it is directed against those purveyors of good air anti smoking and particle filter mafia the Lungenliga.
I would like to round them all up fit them with a bucket full of concrete shoes and dump them in the Rhein, in the shipping channel so that they get all chopped up by the propellers, fishbait that is how I see them.
At night I use a so-called CPAP device, it uses high pressure to keep my airways open, in short it is a device that lets me function during the day without falling asleep at the drop of a hat.
I got a Bill from Helsana over 345 Chuff´s for the rent of this machine over three months. It is the first time since becoming my own boss that I noticed there could be something amiss, I checked the price of the device and it is over 3600 Chuff´s, I rang the Lungenliga told them that I thought the rent was far too over the top and the girl offered me a purchase price over the rest value. That offer came to 1550 Chuff´s.
By then I had already found the price for a new, next model device in Germany, that price is 1600 Chuff´s, brand new with humidifier, heated tubes, mask and shipping, all with a three year warranty.
I mean we all have the expensive hobby of living in CHivilization and fully expect to be gently ripped off by the CHians, but at around two and a half times over the normal European sales price is a blatant rip-off.
I wrote a gentle friendly mail back stating my point of view and that I gennywhinely do not understand why there is such a discrepancy in the price, I did not use words like Pirates and robberbarons, filling pocketsand criminal intent but all the same I got a stroppy answer back in effect telling me that the price is that high, because! And either to deal with it or return the machine.
My next call was to Helsana to inquire if they knew that they were being ripped off and are the member fees that high because of it?
The girl promised me to pass it on, yeh right!
So, just ordered a new machine in Freiburg and now I am feeling a little better.

The best bit was that on the Helsana bill there was a advert for cheap Generika meds, “to work against high prices” Who said that the Swiss don´t do irony.
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Old 04.08.2011, 13:26
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Re: a Lungenliga rant

I was diagnosed with the same probl...Zzzz...
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Old 04.08.2011, 13:37
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Re: a Lungenliga rant

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Who said that the Swiss don´t do irony.
I know shops who claim to have "the best price in Switzerland"...
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Old 04.08.2011, 13:48
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Re: a Lungenliga rant

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I was diagnosed with the same probl...Zzzz...
That's not funnghdfjkfzgd767nbn6789cvn69bn6c9vcn 9cvn6cv79n6cv7n6cc...


OOps sorry head hit the keyboard
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Old 04.08.2011, 14:01
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Re: a Lungenliga rant

I only suffer from this at work...
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Old 04.08.2011, 14:24
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Re: a Lungenliga rant

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I was diagnosed with the same probl...Zzzz...
I have also tested positive to "$witzerlanditis" on occassion.


For those who are aware of this debilitating disease I have attached a rarely published article from the "Switzerland Centre of Epidemiology"


Disclaimer
Please note:The following content may be disturbing to some viewers


Quote:

$WITZERLANDITIS

Summary
A geographically isolated financially debilitating disease with no known cure or prevention.



First symptom - Vision impairment
Sufferers will initially perceive printed prices to be far lower than the actual cost.
Driven by either the euphoric feeling of a great deal, or a letigious requirement to honour the debt, one initially hands out a perceived value of money, and then you realise you have been.......

........$witerlanded !!!

Second Symptom - Disorientation & Denial
Disorientation
The infection spreads rapidly when the realisation of an obvious "Audio Visual" misalignment. The subject will again read the document, to compare the perceived value against the current demand of the Swiss clerk. The subject then begins to experience the disorientation, and questions their perception.

Denial
The initial symptions manifest themselves into a form of speech pathology, coupled with the disorientation, a subject then begins to limit their vocabulary to a repetitive "This can't be" or "but it says right here".
At this point, experienced sufferers will know the infection has taken it's full effect, and accepting defeat is the only longterm approach.
For the previously unaffected, they will soon realise that questioning a set of rules in Switzerland will only excacerbate the symptoms.

Third Symptom - (Treatment) Fever and weakness
$witzerlanditis tends to form a thin callous film inside one's wallet in the form a 'CHF' bank note. The colour and number of these 'callous films' vary with the degree of exposure, but complete removal is necessary.
Removing the film from within your wallet will raise your body temperature and may break into a light sweat. On occassions a sufferer may also trigger a mild form of "tourette syndrome".

Once the appropriate amount of CHF has been removed from the wallet, a sufferer will then begin to regulate their body temperature, however this is offset by an overwhelming feeling of dispair and hopelessness.

The disease is manageable with time, and mild and controlled doses of alcohol is a recommended remedy.


FAQ's

Am I at risk?

If you live currently reside between Germany, France, Austria, and Italy, then the answer is YES.


What is the Cure for $witerlanditis?

Unfortunately, there is no cure.
Outbreaks are regular and frequent. The severity varies with each individual, however, although there are no recorded fatalities directly associated with $witzerlanditis sufferers, independant of the feeling that "They might die"

How do I avoid contracting $witzerlanditis?

Resistance to the disease is the only known way.

Resistance to the condition is evident. Resistant individuals can be easily identified by their little red passports with a small white cross on it. Speech patterns on resistant individuals can be identified by an audible 'hocking' or 'spitting' during conversation.

Who is at Risk of $witzerlanditis?

Typically permit holders of the Confederation of Helvitia between the ages of 18-65 are most at risk. It does not discriminate against gender or ethnic background.
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