i think i get yelled by angry old people all the time, but i dont understand what they say

Thanks for lightening the mood. I needed that!

Hi,

Perhaps it's worth learning a few phrases in German just to describe your son's learning difficulties - just so if he does have an episode somewhere you can put people around at ease. I think once people understand the situation they will give you and your son a break.

As a parent I quickly got used to my son kicking off with a tantrum in the least convenient circumstances - and have sympathy for other parents when a kid decides to throw a wobbler in the middle of Migros etc. In my case, people just give you a knowing look of "been there....got the T-shirt".

Cheers,
Nick

__________________

Sounds like we are / have been in the same boat. It does get easier I promise you but them other issues arrive but we just get better at dealing with them. Our sons difficulties seems so similar yet so very different! Your son must feel so frustrated not being able to speak and express himself properly. Keeping calm definately does help, count to five and smille at them - they may be in the same boat as us one day! Fingers crossed it doesn't sink

PS have you actually had your son assessed by a professional? I am assuming you have.

Cheers,
Nick

You are both probably right.. Just a knee jerk response from an over tired and over dramatic mom

Big hug <3

It's a good point - but then I think is it fair to keep bringing his "problems" up and also, he's my child and I have to deal with him, so by doing that am I just trying to make excuses for the fact that sometimes, I can't. But I do have all the lingo ... we have had enough reports done by now for me to be something of a specialist in German on this subject .. alas.

A lot of people need to learn to be more tolerant in many situations. This is not unique to the Swiss. But fortunately there are exceptions.

I once saw a child throw a tantrum in the local grocery store that was unlike anything I had ever seen. The mom stayed very calm and the store staff were very understanding. I really felt for the mom, but if you have had kids, you just know this can happen, with any child.

Oh yes. Non specific pervasive developmental disorder. Bit of a mouthful so I generally just refer to learning difficulties. It manifests itself mainly in his inability to speak much .. in many many areas, he seems, and is, perfectly normal - and whilst his behaviour can be difficult, to be honest, it is nothing that I have not witnessed before, either in scale or intensity, in other quite normal children. I guess it just hurts that bit more when you know that there are really good reasons for why he sometimes does what he does.

It would clearly also help if I stopped being so sensitive about it ...

As far as I can see, that driver is a bit "psychologically disturbed". I mean, to react in such a way in regard to what are problems with children often.

Don't stop- it's what gives you the strength to stand up for him until he is old enough to do it for himself. He's still a little one who needs him mum to fight his corner. Be sensitive by all means but try to turn it into something that will bloody put people in their place when they have a go at him.

"The Swiss" ?

Does this angry driver represent "the Swiss" ?

Are all drivers elsewhere in the world tolerant ?

Just imagine you have been transported back 150 years when steam trains were the mode of transport and children were seen but not heard, and the driver was finishing his apprenticeship....

Sympathies to you. Life ain't easy with a difficult child. But look on the bright side: the driver did relent and let you travel, so maybe he has learnt from this experience.

Quote: Luckily, he calmed down quickly and the driver let us back on - good job as we would have missed our boat connection otherwise ...

If only it had been a steam engine .. as it would certainly have drowned out his cries

I am sorry that the driver was so rude to you. I hope you feel a OK now.

Personally I would not tolerate this... You kid is only 3 -- at this age all children scream sometimes, disorder or no disorder. The driver has no right to shout at your child, he shouldn't even talk to your child directly but talk to you instead if he needed something. And he certainly shouldn't tell you that he cannot work in the presence of a screaming child. Instead of getting off the train you should have told him to get another job...

Now, I think we have to be realistic. We all can tell the OP what she should and could have done and said. BUT, who would have expected this extreme reaction of that grumpy driver ?

Remains however the question what the driver really said ? He possibly demanded that the wife with her crying child went into another compartment. I don't know, but .....

No I'm afraid he did not. He told me that we could not ride the train if the child still screamed. My German is quite good, and my other son was with me, and he is bilingual. Plus the driver finger-jabbed and gestured, meaning that no language was really required ...

Sod the driver, some adults have character problems and start shouting and screaming and jabbing fingers when they don't understand a situation. Maybe he was having a bad day.

But what a wonderfully understanding mum you are! Many of us could not deal with the real children we have in such a patient manner, let alone an adult driver having a tantrum.

This is my reaction when kids scream for a while:

1. I often carry small toys or something that might amuse them- try it while smiling at carer, sometimes it distracts them.

2. If it doesn't work and the carer doesn't want any help or interference, mind my own business, they have enough to deal with.

We all tense up when we gear kids scream, but all kids scream sometimes- I love kids, I don't want to live in a society where they hide kids away.

If you get a child in a full blown tantrum, you are likely to get any of the "amusing little toys" turning into a missile and bouncing of your skull. Been there, got the t-shirt.

Oh ecb, I'm sorry you had such a rough day

There really is nothing worse than that feeling of embarrassment and feeling unable to calm the situation down. On a recent trip back to the UK my darling angel decided to kick off a full blown tantrum in the terminal at Euroairport. Everybody was staring at me, especially when I called "time out" on her and sat her in a corner to scream it out for two minutes

A lot of tutting and head shaking from other commuters but I kept my head held high and followed through with the time out steps. It's the only way to get my little one to behave sometimes and normally just the threat of time out stops her misbehaving. Other times.....well, the passengers of the flight to LGW can tell you what happens