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  #81  
Old 29.09.2011, 19:00
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Re: People shouting at my child ...

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What an idiot of a driver! Problem is they HAVE TO BE ON TIME - and schedules are tight, so you delayed him- but no excuse.

Buses in Malta (where you live I believe) are amazing hey! 1950's old Leyland, colourful with fabulous chrome grills/bonnet. Old leather seats and absolutely NO suspension left - fantastic. And so cheap, about 50Cts to cross the whole Island. Loved it. But don't expect them to be on time, they'll turn up when they are good an ready.

Don't let this twit (vowel change optional) spoil this wonderful autumn weather. Coming to Morges on Saturday to meet us all at the Veteran car rally and cheese party?
he he - a bit OT, but I fear that you will be disappointed should you ever return to Malta. All those gorgeous, incredibly dodgy, yellow buses have been replaced by non-descript Arriva ones.

PS, I have just seen the rest of your post - thank you and that sounds lovely - I will see if we can get there.

PPS, sorry Odile, I would have loved to, but I had not realised how far away Morges is from Zurich - what a shame! Have fun!

Last edited by NSchulzi; 29.09.2011 at 22:20. Reason: Oops
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  #82  
Old 02.10.2011, 12:49
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Re: People shouting at my child ...

Meant to add this last week, but you never noticed that people in this country like to 'correct' other peoples children (not referring to every swiss person).

Don't know how many times I've had to butt in mid sentence, remind them that the father is present and standing right here.

Keep your eye/ear open for that one, the first few times will catch you as some folk like preaching down to kids for no apparent reason and will catch you off guard.
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  #83  
Old 03.10.2011, 08:22
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Re: People shouting at my child ...

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Meant to add this last week, but you never noticed that people in this country like to 'correct' other peoples children (not referring to every swiss person).

Don't know how many times I've had to butt in mid sentence, remind them that the father is present and standing right here.

Keep your eye/ear open for that one, the first few times will catch you as some folk like preaching down to kids for no apparent reason and will catch you off guard.
Ha ha. Sometimes I actually wish someone would turn round to my son in a restaurant or on a tram and tell him firmly to "pipe down" or tell him to stop running around. He doesn't listen to me sometimes despite my best efforts!

Likewise I have no qualms about telling other peoples kids to behave if they are being naughty in my vicinity and their own parents are doing bugger-all to keep them in check. I wouldn't interfere, though, if the parents seem to be taking charge (successfully or unsuccessfully).

Had to get all "Nanny McPhee" with some little sods who were terrorising smaller kids in a playground a couple of weeks ago while their two mums were yacking away ignoring their little darlings' reign of terror.

Last edited by Sandgrounder; 03.10.2011 at 08:56.
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Old 03.10.2011, 10:11
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Re: People shouting at my child ...

I certainly don't shout at other people's children if I am near enough for them to hear me without me raising my voice, but I do tell the children that the flower beds are not really a short cut on their way to school, that my washing is not put them for them to hide behind and and run through when playing tag and that if they really need to keep slamming the metal locker doors at the swimming pool, I'd prefer that they slammed the ones behind their mother instead of the one behind me. Also, if they keep trying to attract their mother's attention without success (she's chatting to another Mum, both of them ignoring their offspring) I have, on occasion, said rather loudly, 'I don't think Mummy is listening' which sometimes has the required effect. And when a youngster (old enough to know better) said 'Achtung' to me, when she wanted to get past me (there wasn't a lot of room between the rows of seating) I asked her if that what what she usually said when she meant 'excuse me, may I come past please'. She said 'yes', so I replied that unfortunately it doesn't function that way with me.

On the whole, I don't think it is bad thing when outsiders correct children in a polite manner. But shouting at the children doesn't really achieve anything except encourage the children (and their mothers) to shout back.

I'll just carry on being a grumpy old woman on here.
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Last edited by Longbyt; 03.10.2011 at 10:25.
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  #85  
Old 03.10.2011, 10:30
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Re: People shouting at my child ...

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I really feel for you. I also have a son who can be difficult to deal with - he is now 7 years old. My son has ADHD!

I will be totally honest with you one of the hardest things I found dealing with my son is the guilt of how I may have reacted had a child behaved the way my son sometime can behave when my daughter was the same age! I remember a little boy in my daughters reception class who now I look back quite obviously had some learning difficulties but at the time I only remember thinking that he was badly behaved and that the parents need to take control of him - very ignorant, I know but I didn't know any different. I only had these thoughts and I really do not think (or hope) I ever let the mother know of those thoughts but I certainly know that other mothers did and probably made this mothers life at school a misery! I often think about this lady now and only have admiration for how she held her head up high and carried on as if nothing happened! Of course she did - she loves her child. Only now can I relate to how she may of felt as I now have a difficult son and I often wonder if other parents think I need to take control!

My father who is very old school often mentions about the children who run around the supermarkets screaming and shouting and once he was telling me that he stopped a lady and asked her if she thought it was right that "screaming and running children" were included in the price he paid for his shopping! I was so angry with him and said he had no right to say that and had he thought to ask her "if her husband was away serving for his country" or "had she had a death in the family" or "did he have a family member who was seriuosly ill" or "was her husband having an affair". It is so easy judge people but if only some people took the time to think about what situation they may or may not be in things would be so much easier for those who feel like they have the world on their shoulders already!

Enjoy your time with your son, only you can judge what is acceptable behaviour for him after taking into account his situation. There are no excuses for the way your were treated but I am sure the driver was just as ignorant as I was once! I just hope I didn't make someone feel the way you were made to feel! I hope you enjoy this poem!

I stand alone in the playground
No one talks to me
I see the looks, and hear their whispers;
She’s the mother of the ‘little beast’

The boy who can’t sit still in the classroom
The one that fools around
The child who torments others
And throws himself to the ground.

She must be a useless parent
No control or restraint
We’ll go and see the headmistress
And make a formal complaint.

We want the ‘looney’ expelled
You know the one we mean
The boy who runs around the playground
As if driven by a machine.

Who sends the other children flying
Cuts and bruises everywhere
Get rid of the little menace
How you do it, we don’t care.

The ‘brat’ whose been banned at lunchtime
The boy who has no friends
The boy whose never invited to parties
And Christmas cards – not one was sent.

The child who cries because he’s a loner
Through no choice of his own
Who struggles in the classroom
And is made to sit alone.

The boy who lags behind
As hard as he may try
Who at the age of seven
Can barely read and write

And so I continue to stand alone
No one talks to me
The mother of a little boy
Who’s been diagnosed with learning difficulties.

He taught me how to live from moment to moment
He taught me how to be accepting and not to judge
He taught me how to love and to trust
He taught me how to laugh instead of cry

Others will never get the chance to love him as I do
I am grateful that I was the chosen one
Not everyone could do it and for that, I feel special
So thank you for choosing me as his mother and not just anyone.
Really lovely poem right from the heart.

My little boy has Aspergers syndrome but thanks to a wonderful school here and lots of advice how to deal with the difficult times we cope pretty well.
He used to get times when he was really out of his comfort zone and we would get the out bursts of swearing which was so embarrassing,especially on a bus full of old ladies who could not beleive such an angelic child could know such words and use them with spectacular devastation lol.

Due to the experiences with my son I do not judge parents on how the kids behave while they are out. No one knows their personal circumstances on why they behave how they do, no one should judge either. I so feel for ecb and her little son, the driver behaved appallingly and I would put a full complaint in to the company, as someone else said it is so important at these times that even if you are totally cut up with embarrassement,your child should know 100% that you are completely on their side. I cannot think of anything worse than leaving a child doubting this.

Hope you do not experience this again but I think the fact you stayed calm and did not retaliate spoke volumns to your child. Hope things improve for you.

Darcy
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