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Old 22.08.2011, 15:27
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Being pregnant

I don't like to complain but today took the biscuit. I am 36 weeks pregnant and not very well. I had to go to hospital early this morning and not one person offered me their seat on the train or tram. In this heat it is really hard to stand up as i get really dizzy. I look extremely pregnant so it's not like it's not obvious. In the uk someone would always offer you their seat without having to ask. Do i just need to be blunt and ask people to move?

Sorry rant over.

Laura
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Old 22.08.2011, 15:31
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Re: Being pregnant

I really feel for you, but yes, had I been in your situation I would probably have asked the 'least aggressive looking' person sitting near where I was standing if I might sit down. I don't even think it is being blunt. It is making a request. You'd have to be prepared to be ignored or get a 'no' but even that wouldn't be the end of the world.
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Old 22.08.2011, 15:32
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Re: Being pregnant

"Can I sit here? I feel dizzy."

You would be hard pressed to find a tram in Zurich where nobody understood you say that.

Sometimes you just gotta speak up.
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Old 22.08.2011, 16:03
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Re: Being pregnant

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I don't like to complain but today took the biscuit. I am 36 weeks pregnant and not very well. I had to go to hospital early this morning and not one person offered me their seat on the train or tram. In this heat it is really hard to stand up as i get really dizzy. I look extremely pregnant so it's not like it's not obvious. In the uk someone would always offer you their seat without having to ask. Do i just need to be blunt and ask people to move?

Sorry rant over.

Laura
Yes you do need to speak up in these situations, although it is my experience that most of the times, someone will offer seats to elderly, frail, visibly pregnant or handicapped people, help with prams getting on and off trains etc.
However: Last week with a pram on the S-Bahn (old style, not low floor) I had to politely ask two yoof to get off the fold-down seats to put the pram in its designated place (plenty seats in the double-deck section) - which they proptly did and actually apologised so no worries. The woman with her shopping bags on the empty seat (in a group of four) stayed put, as did her bags. So I asked her to move her bags, and got a stare. I asked again, pointing at the "wheelchair, pram and pushchair" sign. Shopping Lady harrumphed and moved her bags closer towards her (not off the seat, mind you). I sat on the edged of the seat until she eventually got off at Enge. Unfortunately Tom Tulpe junior was fast asleep and I didn't have the heart to take him out of the pram for the full "grumpy sleepy woken-up baby" treatment, because everybody else on the train had been nice to me.
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Old 22.08.2011, 16:14
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Re: Being pregnant

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Shopping Lady harrumphed and moved her bags closer towards her (not off the seat, mind you). I sat on the edged of the seat until she eventually got off at Enge.
Awww, you're just too nice.... you should have (accidentally on purpose) sat on her shopping.
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Old 22.08.2011, 16:15
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Re: Being pregnant

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Awww, you're just too nice.... you should have (accidentally on purpose) sat on her shopping.
Her shopping looked delicate. An I am not. So I sat on the edge of the seat.
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Old 22.08.2011, 16:18
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Re: Being pregnant

*at top of voice* "I'm pregnant - GET UP NOW". Grab upper arm of offender and yank hard.

Trust me, there's nothing more effective to a Swiss, he'll need counselling for months after this ordeal and will be given a note to work at 40%.
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Old 22.08.2011, 16:26
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Re: Being pregnant

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*at top of voice* "I'm pregnant - GET UP NOW". Grab upper arm of offender and yank hard.

Trust me, there's nothing more effective to a Swiss, he'll need counselling for months after this ordeal and will be given a note to work at 40%.
...especially if your a bloke saying this
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Old 22.08.2011, 16:28
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Re: Being pregnant

For both my pregnancies I experienced what you did today. I got used to it to the point that I am surprised everytime someone here in Barcelona move to let me pass, give me a seat and reach out to me if I don't see them to give me their seat when my son is on me in his sling. (Should be an other thread of how here people don't give a mean look when my kids cry, but instead try to comfort them )

I used to get mad at people in Basel for not being more socially helpful of pregnant women, old people and young child.

I can not stand it. I once was sitting with my big belly when an old woman and her husband came in the tram. No one wanted to stand and leave their seat so I did it. The old men got so mad, he said something loud and someone finally moved. He smiled at me, told me to sit down and look at everyone around with the Swiss look...

That was cool!
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Old 22.08.2011, 16:37
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Re: Being pregnant

It amazes me how people stare at you struggling to get off a bus with a pram and offer no help at all. I hate to make country comparisons, but I never struggled once with my buggy in London but in the 3 months I have lived here i only remember being helped twice with my pram. I guess it is just the culture.
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Old 22.08.2011, 16:40
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Re: Being pregnant

London, 2007, train from Forest Hill to Tower Bridge with a 25 week pregnant Mrs Nickatbasel in tow. On a full train, nobody offered their seat to my missus - until my Dad asked some city type if he wouldn't mind letting Mrs Nickatbasel having a seat.

Of course London is the pit of the Universe so not surprising.

Cheers,
Nick

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In the uk someone would always offer you their seat without having to ask.
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Old 22.08.2011, 16:47
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Re: Being pregnant

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I don't like to complain but today took the biscuit. I am 36 weeks pregnant and not very well. I had to go to hospital early this morning and not one person offered me their seat on the train or tram. In this heat it is really hard to stand up as i get really dizzy. I look extremely pregnant so it's not like it's not obvious. In the uk someone would always offer you their seat without having to ask. Do i just need to be blunt and ask people to move?

Sorry rant over.

Laura
Well I would always offer you, or anyone else my seat, in London they are always a little more forceful about the reserved seats I was sitting on one of the reserved seats on an empty bus in tooting once, and was told to vacate completely by an OAP, she could have sat down next to me... Generally I stand on the bus now, thus avoiding all social awkwardness!
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Old 22.08.2011, 16:48
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Re: Being pregnant

I can understand your frustration, but look at it from the other side - not that this excuses the behaviour.

Although the Swiss stare, they don't make eye contact. So while they stare, they don't see. If they do see, they may think, "She's fine, she's not asking for a seat, so I don't need to give mine up."

The Swiss are blunt to the point that they will ask a direct question if they need an answer. You need to develop that bluntness and actually say, politely, that you are pregnant, feel poorly and need a seat.

Ask and you shall receive is the approach you need to take.
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Old 22.08.2011, 16:48
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Re: Being pregnant

Half a page in and no one has trolled/stirred the thread with the "And how exactly is it my fault you're pregnant?"

At which point the thread will be a rehash of the countless other threads we have had on the same topic.

By page 4 someone will mention that having children is the single most environmentally unfriendly thing anyone could do.

By page 7 there will have been a dozen posts on "more children will save the pension crisis"

Repeat ad nauseum.
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Old 22.08.2011, 16:50
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Re: Being pregnant

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Half a page in and no one has trolled/stirred the thread with the "And how exactly is it my fault you're pregnant?"

At which point the thread will be a rehash of the countless other threads we have had on the same topic.

By page 4 someone will mention that having children is the single most environmentally sound thing anyone could do.

By page 7 there will have been a dozen posts on "more children will save the pension crisis"

Repeat ad nauseum.
Not wanting to de-rail your thread but... that's just so not true...

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Old 22.08.2011, 16:56
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Re: Being pregnant

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Not wanting to de-rail your thread but... that's just so not true...

Damn - I'm going to edit the original post so you look like a loser
Hooray for the edit function
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Old 22.08.2011, 16:57
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Re: Being pregnant

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Damn - I'm going to edit the original post so you look like a loser
Don't worry. You don't need to do that to make me look... no wait. That's not coming out right...
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Old 22.08.2011, 16:59
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Re: Being pregnant

Why would common curtesy have to be deserved, beats me.

They say a country is assessed by how it treats its weakest members.

I have experienced both extremely nice people when I was preggo, somebody almost bruised my belly at one point on a bus, too. Makes one assertive and ready for the nutty playground situations later on.

OP, don't take it to your heart, I know it's difficult in this heat, etc. just ask away, most people help.
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Old 22.08.2011, 17:05
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Re: Being pregnant

I would clearly only give my seat up for attractive females between the ages of 25 to 45 who are not "already taken". Being pregnant would clearly label and stigmatize you as "taken".

Only joking, I never travel by tram or train
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Old 22.08.2011, 17:06
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Re: Being pregnant

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"Can I sit here? I feel I'm about to puke."
That'll get the beggars moving.
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