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Old 16.11.2011, 22:35
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Re: People not moving when I try to get on tram with stroller

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Only because I am sick and groveling, feeling sorry for myself, missing home...
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  #262  
Old 16.11.2011, 22:36
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Re: People not moving when I try to get on tram with stroller

On a positive note, your thread really took off. Thirteen pages and all that attention. You should be basking in it.
For the record, I am on your side and I always try to be helpful to mothers with prams. I bet the majority of EF-ers do as well.
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  #263  
Old 16.11.2011, 22:43
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Re: People not moving when I try to get on tram with stroller

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Only because I am sick and groveling, feeling sorry for myself, missing home...
I see that you are from New Orleans? That is one of my favorite city!!! I've been there few times, jazz festival and Mardi Gras, I've met some great people!!! I miss your home too!!!!

No need to feel sorry for yourself, don't let them get to you. Not worth it.
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  #264  
Old 16.11.2011, 22:48
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Re: People not moving when I try to get on tram with stroller

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On a positive note, your thread really took off. Thirteen pages and all that attention. You should be basking in it.
For the record, I am on your side and I always try to be helpful to mothers with prams. I bet the majority of EF-ers do as well.

I think the majority (if not all) EF-ers would definitely help out, almost all in general. Actually in my experience, there's usually a rush from a few people to help out with getting a buggy on and off an old-school zurich tram. I've also seen helpful people get scorned at if they try and help on one of the cobra (canadian ) trams when there is a flat exit.

The OP is definitely correct in the fact that she should never be physically contacted or touched at all. Back home, in the worst scenario, this could land the guilty a hefty fine, criminal record, addition to the sexual offenders data base and requirement to log their dna. So that is no laughing/trolling matter. Being swore at is just crappy behavior and that person is a tool, but that could happen to all regardless of the situation.

I think the tone of some of the posts came off as: I am a mother, all bow before me and serve--which I'm pretty sure wasn't the OP's intention, but we've all encountered some parents like that before.

The situation of not making space could also have come down to a mis-communications. Some people here in public have no concept whatsoever of crowd-dynamics. There are some great posts of trying to walk through a crowd, people standing in the way etc. etc. Many times it seems deliberate, but many people here just don't have a clue regarding spacial awareness. I combat with this multiple times a day!

Also some of the comments along the lines of "you're not a parent, you don't understand", "You're just bitter because you don't have, can't have children, can't find someone to have children with" just fuelled the fire.

But it's true, this thread really took off. Amusing at the least.

I hope the OP is at least in a better place than they started....perhaps a bit wiser with the dynamics of an open semi-anonymous internet forum. There are a lot of opinions out there some good, some poor and all complexed by past experiences and sub-concious beliefs.
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Last edited by Chemmie; 16.11.2011 at 23:11.
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  #265  
Old 16.11.2011, 22:54
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Re: People not moving when I try to get on tram with stroller

Straight off the press! I have a brilliant true story about a mum from USA and her spoilt manner less girl. It has everything in it. Reverse racism, snobbery against person from their own race, looking down on everyone who is Swiss, shouting in English at someone without understanding the actual situation and always assuming that they are the only English speaking person in Zurich lol

It's a brilliant story of how people with victim mentality will bend a situation 180° to fit their preconceived notions. It's like if someone says YES they hear NO

I am itching to share the story but I can't because it would compromise my friend
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  #266  
Old 16.11.2011, 22:59
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Re: People not moving when I try to get on tram with stroller

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Straight off the press!
Nice timing.

Do you work for "The Local" do you Gollum GoVeg ?
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  #267  
Old 16.11.2011, 23:01
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Re: People not moving when I try to get on tram with stroller

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I beg to differ

A child screams, cries, need its nappy changing, needs feeding regularly, monitored and needs to be supervised at all times and takes years to grow up

A cute dog, does not cry, does not need changing, needs bathing very now and again, is a lot cheaper and easier to feed, does not need monitoring at all times and grows up within a few months.
I agree with you. I rather have an animal than a child. Much better return of investment My point still stands though. A dog might need less looking after but it still needs to be taken care of. There is only so long you can leave it alone.
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  #268  
Old 16.11.2011, 23:07
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Re: People not moving when I try to get on tram with stroller

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Nice timing.
Brilliant ain't it? Where you all still here while I was gone for last 5 hours doing constructive things? Anyway when I heard the story I smiled and thought about this thread.
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  #269  
Old 17.11.2011, 07:21
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Re: People not moving when I try to get on tram with stroller

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OP, when people spot a soft place sometimes, they will test their intuition and target it. Internet is a flaky thing, you can't see the smirks and smiles, it takes a little while to get used to read between the lines. It's not worth the drama, either, nor think that the culture in general is a bunch of ill mannered rednecks. Will just take you a little while to fish out the many nice folks, to maneuvre around to fit in (literally, with the buggy)..We have more nice and helpful threads than the rippin-on-somebody ones, just check out the archives.
Are you still talking about the internet here?

This I agree applies to this thread to a certain extent and many other "complaints" threads have this in laughable abundance:

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It's a brilliant story of how people with victim mentality will bend a situation 180° to fit their preconceived notions. It's like if someone says YES they hear NO
BUT, I have to say in the case of this thread it is probably a defence reaction given that the OP was continuously pelted with inflammatory responses from a certain bored few, twisting many of her comments purposely to put her into a more negative light. If you don't want people to act like a victim, don't provoke them until they become one.

Was there any point at all in baiting her and responding with stuff which you probably wouldn't dare say in front of your own mothers? Hope you are all feeling better about yourselves now.

Spending an entire day trolling a thread populated by stressed out mothers is probably the lowest of the low in easy pickings and doesn't take much of your seemingly low reserves of creativity. I'm sure your own mothers would be proud of you.
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  #270  
Old 17.11.2011, 07:40
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Re: People not moving when I try to get on tram with stroller

OP: There are bad days and there are good. I've had my fair share of ignorant idiots on the trams who intentionally try to make it hard for me to get my stroller on the tram (and before anyone jumps on me, I have a fairly small Graco stroller and not a tank). But to balance this, I have also had days when people have been helpful and kind and have also commented on how sweet my daughter is when she is giving her loudest rendition of whatever song is her rhyme of choice (last week it was Beyonce "Single ladies" ).

Such is life. I feel for you as it can be stressful and embarrassing as the last thing I want to do is be an inconvenience to others, but as a fulltime working mummy sometimes I just can't avoid the commuter trams

Chin up and I hope you feel better today.

And PhilMCR, I really expected more from you as you normally post fairly balanced points of view. You must have been having a really crap day
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  #271  
Old 17.11.2011, 08:38
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Re: People not moving when I try to get on tram with stroller

Hey, I feel bad for all you stroller people.

But, there is no discrimination towards anyone on the trams .

Equal opportunity abuse exists. - I have had bags slammed into me, seen old ladies shoved aside, mass scrambling for entry and exit.

No "enschuldingung" or "sorry" or even a cursory "how's yer father". The list goes on.

No one is safe from tram abuse
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  #272  
Old 17.11.2011, 09:32
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Re: People not moving when I try to get on tram with stroller

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I see that you are from New Orleans? That is one of my favorite city!!! I've been there few times, jazz festival and Mardi Gras, I've met some great people!!! I miss your home too!!!!

No need to feel sorry for yourself, don't let them get to you. Not worth it.
I went to the Jazz Fest the last two years. Last time I was there I went to the French Quarter on the streetcar the very next morning after my arrival. I had 2 kids, one fold up stroller, and a backback. When the driver saw me, see got out the streetcar and helped me carry my stroller while another woman held my children's hand so I could pay and yet another gentleman helped me exit the streetcar and unfolded my stroller. Ok this is not normal so don't get that impression. I have feared for my life on public transport in New Orleans. Anyway, just thought I would share a story from our beloved city.
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  #273  
Old 17.11.2011, 09:35
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Re: People not moving when I try to get on tram with stroller

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Only because I am sick and groveling, feeling sorry for myself, missing home...
Dont. That makes you prime troll bait, as you would have found out by now. Dont let this stop your participation in future - most of us are good sorts here and Phil is, well, special I am just a little peeved that mods havent stepped in earlier and let this go on for 13 pages.

Take your little one out to play in the glorious sunshine and feel better soon!
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  #274  
Old 17.11.2011, 09:51
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Re: People not moving when I try to get on tram with stroller

Wow, this is a whopper of a long thread, but after wading through it in its entirety, what I am observing is that everyone posting here, (even those who have been accused of sounding "anti-mom" or "anti-child") have helped or would help a mom in need of assistance with a pram on the tram. That is good, because really what matters is for the mom to get some help when it is needed. The thoughts that might be circulating in the helper's head about the mom choosing to have kids, the pram size, or what tram car is being used (in general, all the stuff which is causing controversy within this thread), are not really relevant as long as those thoughts stay in the helper's head (which was not the case in the OP's original account). After receiving help, it is important for the mom to show her gratitude with a smile and a "thank you," same as it is important for the mom to apologize for running into or over anyone's foot/leg with her pram.

Now we can all be happy with each other!
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  #275  
Old 17.11.2011, 09:51
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Re: People not moving when I try to get on tram with stroller

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You're the one who immediately assumed this only happens to women with prams. In my world, men push them too.
Hmmm. Maybe. But men as less likely to be intimidated - whether for real or perception - by others, so I've never really had a problem getting trams with or without our double buggy and 3 children. That said, I also don't take no sh*t - if people are in the way, they are asked move.
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Old 17.11.2011, 11:53
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Re: People not moving when I try to get on tram with stroller

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Spending an entire day trolling a thread populated by stressed out mothers is probably the lowest of the low in easy pickings and doesn't take much of your seemingly low reserves of creativity.
I only wasted an hour. I don't know about other trolls but I meant everything I said. Even my true stories were true
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I'm sure your own mothers would be proud of you.
Give her a call and ask her. Mum to me but Jessica Alba to you. She looks proud I think

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  #277  
Old 17.11.2011, 13:44
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Re: People not moving when I try to get on tram with stroller

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  #278  
Old 17.11.2011, 13:49
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Re: People not moving when I try to get on tram with stroller

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Hmmm. Maybe. But men as less likely to be intimidated - whether for real or perception - by others, so I've never really had a problem getting trams with or without our double buggy and 3 children.
Another point in favour of not making a teensy-weensy ickle princess the mother of your kids My mum is teensy-weensy but she sure as heck ain't no princess, she gets people to move, NO PROBLEM. Although she did tell us we were no longer allowed prams a few years ago, it was getting ridiculous with us getting out of them and lifting them into the tram by ourselves...
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Old 17.11.2011, 23:32
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Re: People not moving when I try to get on tram with stroller

I thought about this thread while I was relieving myself and had a eureka moment and movement This thread for me was a laugh but knowing how some women can be they might have taken things to heart. Already the stress of kids and then some of us rubbing it in is not very nice.

So even though I meant everything I said because those are my views I still would like to apologise for any hurt I might have caused. Helping and being tolerant should never go out of fashion. The fact is that I have always helped mums and always will as I am a good boy.

So Cajun lady I hope you have recovered and feeling better.
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Old 17.11.2011, 23:49
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Re: People not moving when I try to get on tram with stroller

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Are you still talking about the internet here?
Naw, the general culture meaning the life here, packed trams with the ocassional brainfarts.

OP's a good sport.
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