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  #81  
Old 27.12.2011, 10:53
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Re: Thinking outside the box.

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erm... why is only me then who should get in a new one when nobody else that finished off the last one ever did? in short: he didnt mind others but me. normally thats what i would do, taking the last one, getting in a new one. on the other hand: why all this childish fuss? what about getting this thing staright by telling me? my point is that he says its ok but thinks different. sux.
I am not sure since I wasn't there but I would think it is the five you put in that he found insulting...
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  #82  
Old 27.12.2011, 17:00
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Fwiw, a box of those Chicago cost 10 chfs from coop when on sale. We regularly had them in the office.
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Old 27.12.2011, 18:19
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Re: Thinking outside the box.

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What I´ve learned is that some things are worth my getting worked up about and some aren´t. What I consider worthy has changed greatly when I first moved here. Now I dont cross the street unless the little green guy is on for example. I´m not "back home" and as much as it might annoy me or frustrate me at times, I have had to (like any immigrant) learn to adapt to certain things in the culture.
Haha, I probably now only cross the road when I'm allowed (aka little green man is showing the way) about 95% of the time. Previously in Paris I'd rarely wait, and take any and every opportunity to weave through stopped traffic if it meant I could gain a second or two!

Choose your battles wisely people.

Otherwise, sorry the original complaint is lame (Spanish clothes shop with non Swiss employees is indicative of the Swiss???).
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  #84  
Old 27.12.2011, 18:31
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Re: Thinking outside the box.

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I am not sure since I wasn't there but I would think it is the five you put in that he found insulting...
what ever it was: dont come along, hand the fiver back telling me like grampa to his grandson: "its ok".
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Old 27.12.2011, 19:40
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Re: Thinking outside the box.

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erm... why is only me then who should get in a new one when nobody else that finished off the last one ever did? in short: he didnt mind others but me. normally thats what i would do, taking the last one, getting in a new one. on the other hand: why all this childish fuss? what about getting this thing staright by telling me? my point is that he says its ok but thinks different. sux.
Exactly, the name of the thread is thinking outside the box.. why all the fuss indeed...
its like there is some unwritten Swiss 'shoggi code'
Article 139: 'When the last workplace shoggi finished is, you must another box buy.. cash is unacceptable'
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Old 29.12.2011, 17:01
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Re: Thinking outside the box.

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Exactly, the name of the thread is thinking outside the box.. why all the fuss indeed...
its like there is some unwritten Swiss 'shoggi code'
Article 139: 'When the last workplace shoggi finished is, you must another box buy.. cash is unacceptable'
It's not Swiss Schoggi code, it's universal gift-giving code:

Either appreciate it and reciprocate or appreciate it and don't, do NOT pay your assumed fair share of the gift with cash, that's just bad manners.
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Old 29.12.2011, 18:08
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Re: Thinking outside the box.

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erm... why is only me then who should get in a new one when nobody else that finished off the last one ever did? in short: he didnt mind others but me. normally thats what i would do, taking the last one, getting in a new one. on the other hand: why all this childish fuss? what about getting this thing staright by telling me? my point is that he says its ok but thinks different. sux.
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Exactly, the name of the thread is thinking outside the box.. why all the fuss indeed...
its like there is some unwritten Swiss 'shoggi code'
Article 139: 'When the last workplace shoggi finished is, you must another box buy.. cash is unacceptable'
Yep, I'm with Simon and Nil on this -

It's not that you (flow) or anyone is supposed to buy chocolate themselves, it's not that the fiver was "not enough" but rather that the gentleman had the chocolate available to others out of kindness, that's it.

Showing direct appreciation with a heartfelt thanks to the gentleman would be good, showing appreciation of the spirit by also providing some treat (not necessarily a 40chf box of chocolate, but something sharable anyhow) also would be good... the fiver though, no. The money puts a value on the kindness which was intended to have no price.


On the other hand, and I do mean this in the nicest way possible... this sort of thinking leads me to the feeling that it is simply a separation of some inner sense of kindness somehow.

Some folks feel pressure to always "pay" for kindnesses given to them, whether by actual payment (the case of the fiver) or reciprocal value (guy bought 40chf worth of schoggi, now I must also buy / give 40chf worth of schoggi). They were nice to "me" so in return, "I" must be nice to them, either in equal measure or at least what I consider my fair share.

Other folks though are more "free givers" ... they give freely, expecting nothing in return and not feeling a great need to (specifically) give back. Sure you can expect they'll probably sometime, someday give a kindness in return, but it may or may not have "equal value" to what you gave them.

Of course, there tends to be some struggle between kindness 1 people and kindness 2 people, each feeling a bit slighted if they don't understand and accept the intent of the other.

Hopefully Flow, you and your coworker can get things settled... maybe find out if he's got a little something that needs doing which you can do for him if you feel the need to "repay" - it will help you feel better about the refused fiver and help him understand better you were just trying to be kind in your way also.
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  #88  
Old 30.12.2011, 01:30
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Re: Thinking outside the box.

If theres one thing Ive noticed here, its that a big deal has to be made about nothing... I dont understand why someone cant just put the 5 towards another box of chocolate, if his thing is buying the 'office chocolate' .. its a nice gesture. end of story. why make a bigger deal out of it than it is..?? again.. title of thread: thinking outside the box.
Im sorry but there is no universal rulebook of kind gestures..

On the other hand, its not a big deal to pick up a box of chocolate at the store as a payback gesture..

Why judge one persons kind gesture to be less or more than the other? Because one involves cash? and money is the root of all evil, but shoggi on the other hand...
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Old 30.12.2011, 01:46
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Re: Thinking outside the box.

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If theres one thing Ive noticed here, its that a big deal has to be made about nothing... I dont understand why someone cant just put the 5 towards another box of chocolate, if his thing is buying the 'office chocolate' .. its a nice gesture. end of story. why make a bigger deal out of it than it is..?? again.. title of thread: thinking outside the box.
Im sorry but there is no universal rulebook of kind gestures..

On the other hand, its not a big deal to pick up a box of chocolate at the store as a payback gesture..

Why judge one persons kind gesture to be less or more than the other? Because one involves cash? and money is the root of all evil, but shoggi on the other hand...

To me, it seems that "you" are the one incapable of thinking outside your box. The other person is uncomfortable receiving money for a kindness, why can you not let it go and insist instead that the money should be accepted?
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Old 30.12.2011, 01:53
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Re: Thinking outside the box.

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To me, it seems that "you" are the one incapable of thinking outside your box. The other person is uncomfortable receiving money for a kindness, why can you not let it go and insist instead that the money should be accepted?
Well like i said, its not a big deal to pick up a box of chocolate .. its probably easier here than anywhere else in the world.. I never insisted that the money should be accepted.. but why give it back? to me thats rude, denying someones kind gesture..
After all this wasnt my post, Im just agreeing that I dont understand why all the fuss. Pocket the five and say cheers, get on with your life.. life really is too short to judge someones gesture as not genuine, then avoid them because of it..
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