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Old 09.02.2012, 14:43
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US / UK nicht!!!

my first official rant, for which I apologize ahead of time:

as a gringo, it is absolutely driving me nuts being consistently lumped in with the Brits. this is especially true when I read posts with the dreaded moniker "US / UK", or the ever-popular "English-speaking". so as a courtesy to those who may not be aware of the nuances involved, here is a brief primer on what makes the US so danged different:

1. Our language is better, and certainly much more conducive to daily and social conversation. Could you ever imagine asking a gringo to "put it in the boot"?

2. Our soccer sucks, but our football is considerably better.

3. We have coney dogs, and Kentucky Fried Chicken.

4. We invented rock and roll. We also invented soul, jazz, blues, r&b and bluegrass. Hopefully you will forgive us the disco.

5. Despite the appearances that our absurd Orwellian Presidential elections or the Bush II years may engender, we have neither a King nor a Queen.

6. We have baseball, which can be played to completion in under a week.

7. We have basketball. Real basketball.

8. They don't make commercials advertising that any beer (that means you, Newcastle) "makes American food edible", because our food is rich in diversity and generally excellent. In fact, our food is required to be good and flavorful to help us choke down all that piss beer, e.g. buffalo wings.

9. We have dentists.

10. We won the war.

ok, rant off. need to check on my meds. I did not use the "search" function to see if somebody else previously posted an identical rant, which is of course entirely possible because everybody knows that all gringos think and act the same.

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Old 09.02.2012, 14:46
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Re: US / UK nicht!!!

I loved number 9
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Old 09.02.2012, 14:46
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Re: US / UK nicht!!!

As a card carrying A-meric-can citizen... let me say.. .you shouldn't brag that we have KFC

as for various others... I'd love to have you join me on my next trip to Cornwall ( look it up if you need to )

and in defense of England let me say just a few things

fish n chips
pubs
real football.


and whoever short of a few Mexicans ( and our resident Mexican got deported to.. "the other side" ) has ever called Americans "gringo's"

ah is a Yankee
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Old 09.02.2012, 14:49
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Re: US / UK nicht!!!

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real football.
Any sport which is played by people with long gel hair, should be declassified as a sport and put into the category of leisure activity such as dart, bowling and chess.
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Old 09.02.2012, 14:52
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Re: US / UK nicht!!!

Thanks the Canadians for your basketball.
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Old 09.02.2012, 14:53
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Re: US / UK nicht!!!

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Any sport which is played by people with long gel hair, should be declassified as a sport and put into the category of leisure activity such as dart, bowling and chess.
American football is just rugby for sissies.
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Old 09.02.2012, 14:55
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Re: US / UK nicht!!!

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Any sport which is played by people with long gel hair, should be declassified as a sport and put into the category of leisure activity such as dart, bowling and chess.
Any sport that involves guys getting into full body armour and then passing a ball around according to some pre-determined pattern is nothing more than a less refined version of chess. REAL men don't wear plastic shoulder thingies to run into each other - and then it's called rugby.
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Old 09.02.2012, 14:56
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Re: US / UK nicht!!!

11. We still pay tax in our home country
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Old 09.02.2012, 14:58
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Re: US / UK nicht!!!

And what's all this "Give me five!" or "High five!"

Is it some mating ritual? Why can't you just shake hands like the rest of the Western world?
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Old 09.02.2012, 14:58
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Re: US / UK nicht!!!

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4. We invented rock and roll...............
invented.. but where would rock n roll be without the British Invasion? or Northern Soul

today by the way is the anniversary of the Beatles first performance on the Ed Sullivan Show.

09.02.64
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Old 09.02.2012, 14:58
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Re: US / UK nicht!!!

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American football is just rugby for sissies.
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Any sport that involves guys getting into full body armour and then passing a ball around according to some pre-determined pattern is nothing more than a less refined version of chess. REAL men don't wear plastic shoulder thingies to run into each other - and then it's called rugby.
Maybe some of you naysayers ought to analyize and compare the physical attributes of Rugby and NFL players. NFL players are handsdown superior in speed, power and agility and generally speaking, football is a faster game. Now, I really hope this ain't turning into the a whole football vs rugby debate. Let's agree to disagree and put our focus back on the thread.
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Old 09.02.2012, 14:59
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Re: US / UK nicht!!!

OP your post made me laugh so much I had to show it to my butler. He observed "how uncouth". Says it all.
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Old 09.02.2012, 14:59
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Re: US / UK nicht!!!

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And what's all this "Give me five!" or "High five!"

Is it some mating ritual? Why can't you just shake hands like the rest of the Western world?
Or kiss up like in Europe? (what's the trend now 2?3?5 kisses?) oh that's right, it depends on the country, region, lunar calendar and current festivities taking place.
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Old 09.02.2012, 15:02
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Re: US / UK nicht!!!

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Maybe some of you naysayers ought to analyize and compare the physical attributes of Rugby and NFL players. NFL players are handsdown superior in speed, power and agility and generally speaking is a faster game. Now, I really hope this ain't turning into the a whole football vs rugby debate. Let's agree to disagree and put our focus back on the thread.
LOL, only because the poor things get to take a break every 30 seconds.
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Old 09.02.2012, 15:03
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Re: US / UK nicht!!!

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LOL, only because the poor things get to take a break every 30 seconds.
You sometimes seem more Miley than Cyrus, but I'll let you have this one.
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Old 09.02.2012, 15:04
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Re: US / UK nicht!!!

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Maybe some of you naysayers ought to analyize and compare the physical attributes of Rugby and NFL players. NFL players are handsdown superior in speed, power and agility and generally speaking is a faster game.
Steroids are great, aren't they? Rugby players decide on their own moves, NFL players, not so much. Also - not much money in rugby, a lot of the guys are amateurs.

In other news, who else would enjoy watching a tournament where first a team of rubgy players had to play American football against a bunch of NFL types and then a game with the reverse? See who fares better.
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Old 09.02.2012, 15:05
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Re: US / UK nicht!!!

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Thanks the Canadians for your basketball.
And for hawkeeeeee!
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Old 09.02.2012, 15:06
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Re: US / UK nicht!!!

All those nice things went down the toilet for having elected Bush! Twice!!!
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Old 09.02.2012, 15:08
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Re: US / UK nicht!!!

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American football is just rugby for sissies.
perhaps, but we need over analyzed statistic values and scores so we can get drunk, eat wings (take a piss) and still know exactly where the match is.
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Old 09.02.2012, 15:09
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Re: US / UK nicht!!!

4. We invented rock and roll. We also invented soul, jazz, blues, r&b and bluegrass. Hopefully you will forgive us the disco.

Sure i can forgive you for disco, bit Rap,nooooooo way pal.
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