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Old 27.02.2012, 09:53
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Bad behaviour on trip to Lugano

Hi all,
Why is it that some parents think it is completely acceptable to allow their kids to run up and down and scream like banshees? I know the difference between children with disabilites ADHD etc and kids who are just blatantly rude and naughty.

We were travelling to Lugano for some winter sunshine yesterday and two little girls were just completely out of control. I did something I do not usually do and I actually told them to shut up. Their mothers completely ignored their behaviour and spent the trip texting and chatting away,even at one point put some music on just to pee us off further.
I just do not understand why people have so little consideration for other passengers. I would be mortified if someone else had to tell my kids off. If children do not travel well then they should be distracted with books and toys etc to avoid upsetting other people. They turned a really pleasant trip into a stressful journey. The ticket inspector had to climb over them to get down the aisle I was amazed he did not say anything to the mothers. This behaviour is commonplace over here,there seems to be a real lack of discipline from parents.
I think there should be family carriages on trains where people can choose to sit with kids or choose not if they so wish.

Rant over!!
Darcy
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Old 27.02.2012, 10:05
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Re: Bad behaviour on trip to Lugano

And where was the father?

First step: talk to the kids
Second step: talk to the mother
Third step: talk to the conductor
Fourth step: Get the whole carriage to ask the mother and her family to find a new carriage
Fifth step: Move your own bum to another carriage
Sixth step: Take the car next time

Thank goodness this isn't a common thing on the trains. The last time I took the train to Milano, I slept half the way. Pure bliss.
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Old 27.02.2012, 10:12
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Re: Bad behaviour on trip to Lugano

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And where was the father?

First step: talk to the kids
Second step: talk to the mother
Third step: talk to the conductor
Fourth step: Get the whole carriage to ask the mother and her family to find a new carriage
Fifth step: Move your own bum to another carriage
Sixth step: Take the car next time

Thank goodness this isn't a common thing on the trains. The last time I took the train to Milano, I slept half the way. Pure bliss.
Lol no idea where Dad was. We should have spoken to the Mum, we checked for other seats in the next carriage but seems everyone was heading to Lugano yesterday lol. Seriously though I found other peoples attitude very strange,they were annoyed too and breathed a huge sigh of relief when the little devils got off but they were all smiles when the kids were rummaging under their seats etc which I just do not understand?

I must take a trip to Milan sometime, sounds very calming lol.

Darcy
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Old 27.02.2012, 10:21
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Re: Bad behaviour on trip to Lugano

It's a double-edged sword.

If a person says something it can be interpreted in two ways:

- Thank God! Someone's got courage.
- Nosy bashturd. It's none of his business.
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Old 27.02.2012, 10:29
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Re: Bad behaviour on trip to Lugano

I always find a strategically (mis-)placed foot at the right moment works wonders.
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Old 27.02.2012, 10:39
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Re: Bad behaviour on trip to Lugano

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I always find a strategically (mis-)placed foot at the right moment works wonders.
Lol I have to say I was sorely tempted at one point, had a stiff drink when they got off at Bellizona and enjoyed what was left of my train journey.

Darcy
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Old 27.02.2012, 10:45
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Re: Bad behaviour on trip to Lugano

While I can totally feel your pain, I always find very awkward for myself to say or do anything to kids of strangers. I prefer to avoid confrontation and just move to another place as I fear that even the slightest comment might wake up the mamma bear in those generally inattentive mothers but over protective nonetheless.

Once on the train from Zurich to Basel, three little kids were running loose on the train while mother and two other people chatted like there was no tomorrow. In the meantime, one of the kids bothered the hell out of this other passenger, tried to read the magazine the woman was reading, put her feet on the table as soon as the woman started to eat and even pushed the suitcase she had on top of the poor creature. She didn't complain, eventually put her suitcase on the upper compartment and when the kid was just too out of control, the woman changed wagons. The mom was still completely unaware of the situation. I don't know, while I still believe saying something can make things worse, I wonder what would be the best approach.
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Old 27.02.2012, 10:51
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Re: Bad behaviour on trip to Lugano

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While I can totally feel your pain, I always find very awkward for myself to say or do anything to kids of strangers. I prefer to avoid confrontation and just move to another place as I fear that even the slightest comment might wake up the mamma bear in those generally inattentive mothers but over protective nonetheless.

Once on the train from Zurich to Basel, three little kids were running loose on the train while mother and two other people chatted like there was no tomorrow. In the meantime, one of the kids bothered the hell out of this other passenger, tried to read the magazine the woman was reading, put her feet on the table as soon as the woman started to eat and even pushed the suitcase she had on top of the poor creature. She didn't complain, eventually put her suitcase on the upper compartment and when the kid was just too out of control, the woman changed wagons. The mom was still completely unaware of the situation. I don't know, while I still believe saying something can make things worse, I wonder what would be the best approach.
That is terrible, but as you say it is a very awkward situation and you just don't know how the Mums will react, I have to say I felt that these Mums knew EXACTLY what was going on but did not give a toss really. They were grinning like idiots when they got off,I just felt sympathy for the people who would be making the onward journey with this nightmare family.

Darcy
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Old 27.02.2012, 12:06
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Re: Bad behaviour on trip to Lugano

I teach my daughter to be quiet and not run around. I keeps telling to lower her voice because a three years old keep forgetting. I also make sure she has plenty of things to keep her busy and I also watch her feet to make sure she doesn't hit the passenger in front of her.

For my son, he still really young so I have to go up and down the aisle to keep him entertain. But he is 10 months, so he is not walking yet. When he will start to walk, that will be a nightmare because he will refuse to sit. So if I do need to travel, I'll make it only when necessary until this phase end. And when I will have to travel, I will let him walk up and down the aisle like I did with my daughter following her closely to make sure he doesnt disturb passengers.

Better this than having him crying is lungs out because I have to hold him tight to stop him to move around.

If kids are misbehaving is mostly because parents are giving up. It is so much easier to not care and argue with them..... I can understand sometimes where they come from, really. Because constant arguments ith my daughter is annoying, tiring and is endless. So sometimes just to say, yeah, whatever is made out of exasperation.

But it doesn't excuse the mothers behavior in a public place with restrain spaces. It is not to other peoples to pay for her lack of patience / interest / discipline.

Nil
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Old 27.02.2012, 12:28
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Re: Bad behaviour on trip to Lugano

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I teach my daughter to be quiet and not run around.
That's you, Nil. The question being: is it just you?
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Old 27.02.2012, 12:34
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Re: Bad behaviour on trip to Lugano

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Lol no idea where Dad was. We should have spoken to the Mum, we checked for other seats in the next carriage but seems everyone was heading to Lugano yesterday lol
Were you in 2nd class? 1st class is often quite empty on weekends and in such cases it's well worth to pay for the upgrade.
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Old 27.02.2012, 12:41
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Re: Bad behaviour on trip to Lugano

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Were you in 2nd class? 1st class is often quite empty on weekends and in such cases it's well worth to pay for the upgrade.
Don't kids still have to travel 3rd class in the open wagons? It can be a bit breezy, but the noise is carried away in the wind.
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Old 27.02.2012, 12:44
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Re: Bad behaviour on trip to Lugano

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That's you, Nil. The question being: is it just you?
No but I do understand when kids are not under any kind of control. Like that boy who kept kicking me in the leg with is dirty books on my clean and chic trousers while my daughter sits like an angel next to me because I said so.

The other day, we were in the tram and my daughter was excited but she still had to sit straight with her leg down (no shoes on the seats) and I kept telling her to be careful with her feet to not touch or hit the lady in front. The lady was very nice and smiling to my daughter and gave her a candy.

People like well behaved kids. I never have problems nor bad experience with people because I make sure my daughter act well with adults.

I don't like kids running around like headless chickens, nor them jumping on seaangie banging their feet on the back of the seats, etc. I am not shy to tell them off and the parents in the same time.

My daughter is far to be perfect but it is my job to make sure she is a pleasant person to be next to in a public transport.
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Old 27.02.2012, 12:46
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Re: Bad behaviour on trip to Lugano

ban kids from public transportation. it's the obvious answer!
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Old 27.02.2012, 12:48
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Re: Bad behaviour on trip to Lugano

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ban kids from public transportation. it's the obvious answer!
And how you're gonna go to work?
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Old 27.02.2012, 13:02
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Re: Bad behaviour on trip to Lugano

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And how you're gonna go to work?
Don't worry, that was just the usual "don't make it to page two normal debate ironical comment".
The usual fallacy per over generalization, a classic:

Children on trains are not quiet
adults want quiet trains
hence: adults don't want children on trains. (The fallacy being the implied addendum "at all")

But it's not meant to be an argument in the first place, it's supposed to be humour or some kind of ironical lordliness. There might be cultures in which this is funny and entertaining. I respect that.
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Old 27.02.2012, 13:31
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Re: Bad behaviour on trip to Lugano

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There might be cultures in which this is funny and entertaining. I respect that.
We are both honored and humbled by your virtual blessing.
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Old 27.02.2012, 14:19
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Re: Bad behaviour on trip to Lugano

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Don't worry, that was just the usual "don't make it to page two normal debate ironical comment".
The usual fallacy per over generalization, a classic:

Children on trains are not quiet
adults want quiet trains
hence: adults don't want children on trains. (The fallacy being the implied addendum "at all")

But it's not meant to be an argument in the first place, it's supposed to be humour or some kind of ironical lordliness. There might be cultures in which this is funny and entertaining. I respect that.
There's a difference between being not being quiet and breaking the sound barrier with their screeching. Also, the children in the OP's train were behaving badly, not just being normal boisterous children.
I cannot understand the behaviour of the mothers, would they like it if someone else's children behaved that way while they were trying to have a pleasant day out?

Not the same, but we were on a bus the other week when a group of teens sat behind us and instead of speaking normally to one another like normal humans, screeched and shouted!
They were right behind us, the bus was busy and I was almost deafened by the laughing of the boy behind me. I'm all for being happy, but please!
Maybe these teenagers started off like the girls on the OP's post and their parents never told them to shut up either.
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Old 27.02.2012, 14:35
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Re: Bad behaviour on trip to Lugano

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Hi all,
Why is it that some parents think it is completely acceptable to allow their kids to run up and down and scream like banshees? I know the difference between children with disabilites ADHD etc and kids who are just blatantly rude and naughty.

We were travelling to Lugano for some winter sunshine yesterday and two little girls were just completely out of control. I did something I do not usually do and I actually told them to shut up. Their mothers completely ignored their behaviour and spent the trip texting and chatting away,even at one point put some music on just to pee us off further.
I just do not understand why people have so little consideration for other passengers. I would be mortified if someone else had to tell my kids off. If children do not travel well then they should be distracted with books and toys etc to avoid upsetting other people. They turned a really pleasant trip into a stressful journey. The ticket inspector had to climb over them to get down the aisle I was amazed he did not say anything to the mothers. This behaviour is commonplace over here,there seems to be a real lack of discipline from parents.
I think there should be family carriages on trains where people can choose to sit with kids or choose not if they so wish.

Rant over!!
Darcy
Aw man! They are kids, this is what kids do, I've seen and heard the same thing in England countless times before. And another thing, if you can tell the difference between ADHD and boisterous kids you're doing better than 90% of the child psychologists in Britain!



Separate cartridges?! Why not just segregate all those YOU personally would not like to sit in the vicinity of, is that what you mean? I've heard that somewhere before...
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Old 27.02.2012, 14:49
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Re: Bad behaviour on trip to Lugano

I have this theory about parents that they just don't realize how loud their kids are. I don't even think it is bad or negligent parenting in some cases, I think they are just so used to the "ambient noise." I can't even pull the bad parent card, I just think some don't even get it.

As a non-parent, and one highly intolerant of noise and fidgeting, I do realize that sometimes I am harder on bouncy gleeful kids than other people. But at the same time, I think there is a give and take involved and a certain amount of noise is an unpleasant consequence of living in society with small humans who will one day pay our social security. Even if I have to take migraine medicine after listening to them. Anyway.

What I can't handle are the parents who allow their kids to run. I was on a train once and I swear this toddler was about two inches from falling OUT of the train at a stop in Solothurn. It was running up the aisles as the train came to a stop, and stumbled in the little steps thing at the door. Of course some other person picked the kid up. Personally, not even a discipline issue (e.g. do I let my kid run around or not): in a stopped train, I would be more worried my kid would get kidnapped- that would be so much more important to me than anything else going on.
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