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  #21  
Old 01.11.2007, 19:01
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Re: Is this normal?

Ok, I have a question too. We have moved into a new house where a retired couple lives. Everytime I work in our garden the woman comes into the garden and chats on and on for half an hour and expects me to listen and stop working.

Now we moved here specifically to enjoy the peace, including being in the garden without too much disturbance.

The neighbour is Swiss. Anyway, how do I politely solve this problem, making clear I am really either not interested and/or too busy for spending this much time with her . I want to do this the right way but cannot see a way without upsetting her.
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  #22  
Old 01.11.2007, 19:05
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Re: Is this normal?

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I cannot stand jerks who have nothing better to do than to ...... apply their standards to others.

Like smokers for example?
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  #23  
Old 01.11.2007, 19:10
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Re: Is this normal?

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Thanks everyone for your comments/advices (except AbFab whose advice I took as a joke and Hugh Abu whom I can't follow at all).

Just to clarify, we live in our own Freistehen, ein Familienhaus, so there is no rent contract, no direct neighbours at all.

So I called my husband (a Swiss) and told him the story. He then assured me that this is not a standard behavior at all, and the woman is not even Swiss (you can keep guessing where she comes from). Every evening whenever she saw my husband coming home, the first sentence is not "good evening" but "when will you move your compost away". I think she is really sick.

Then my husband called up the couple who sold us this house and they said they had exactly the same experience once they had some guest smoking at the balcony. They were just too nice to tell this woman to shut up and mind her own house.

We have decided to ignore her and to continure enjoying our life in our house.

If you live in a free standing house then fair enough. I guess that wasn't clear.

I can't stand smoke drifting from my nextdoor-neighbour's balcony into my bed when I am trying to get to sleep (my covers stink and so do my clothes).... but this is a different issue and the woman is being very unreasonable if she is a good distance away.

Sorry for the confusion.
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  #24  
Old 01.11.2007, 20:02
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Re: Is this normal?

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Like smokers for example?
Im glad I didnt come to the party you organised No offence
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  #25  
Old 01.11.2007, 20:19
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Re: Is this normal?

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Ok, I have a question too. We have moved into a new house where a retired couple lives. Everytime I work in our garden the woman comes into the garden and chats on and on for half an hour and expects me to listen and stop working.

Now we moved here specifically to enjoy the peace, including being in the garden without too much disturbance.

The neighbour is Swiss. Anyway, how do I politely solve this problem, making clear I am really either not interested and/or too busy for spending this much time with her . I want to do this the right way but cannot see a way without upsetting her.
Well that'a a toughie. My tactic would be to turn the tables and do all the talking yourself. Bore her to tears and yack and yack and yack for ages about some dull subject. Don't let her interupt. It's mean but effective.

Or you could *nicely* tell her you'd enjoy some time alone in the peace and quiet. I'm sure she'd be embarrassed to learn she was annoying you. It's hard to do I guess, so pluck up your courage and tell it straight. Then arrange time for a coffee at some vague date to placate her...
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Old 01.11.2007, 22:47
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Re: Is this normal?

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Ok, I have a question too. We have moved into a new house where a retired couple lives. Everytime I work in our garden the woman comes into the garden and chats on and on for half an hour and expects me to listen and stop working.

Now we moved here specifically to enjoy the peace, including being in the garden without too much disturbance.

The neighbour is Swiss. Anyway, how do I politely solve this problem, making clear I am really either not interested and/or too busy for spending this much time with her . I want to do this the right way but cannot see a way without upsetting her.
Put your mobile phone in your pocket with the last number being your house phone. After a few minutes of her talking discretely push the button on your mobile in your pocket and call your house. Tell her you must get the phone, you've been expecting this call, sorry, see you later.
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  #27  
Old 05.08.2009, 05:13
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Re: Is this normal?

As someone whose neighbors below and over a unit smoke marijuana, my apartment sometimes reeks when I get home. The day my clothes start to smell will be a bad day for them, but in the meantime I try to be understanding. This situation is closer than yours, and with a controlled substance, but it's still a small issue. So I can see why your neighbor, who is considerably older, gets into a fuss. Maybe she knows someone who recently lost the battle to lung cancer, and it's a personal reminder. Or perhaps she's just been spoiled by the pristine mountain air? Always better to just smile it through/kill 'em with kindness.

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If you live in a free standing house then fair enough. I guess that wasn't clear.

I can't stand smoke drifting from my nextdoor-neighbour's balcony into my bed when I am trying to get to sleep (my covers stink and so do my clothes).... but this is a different issue and the woman is being very unreasonable if she is a good distance away.

Sorry for the confusion.
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  #28  
Old 05.08.2009, 08:37
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Re: Is this normal?

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We moved into this house just 2 over 2 months ago. About 10 meters from us is the house of an eldly retired woman who appreared to be quite a difficult person. We put our Kompost at the border line between our garden and hers and we immediately received a request to move it somewhere else not in her view (not because it is smelly or something but simply because it's not nice there). OK, we can live with this, no problem.

Today I had a friend visiting me and she was smoking at OUR balcony which is some 10 meters from my neighbour's house. Then my neighbour called me from her garden and told me something. First I did not understand, so my friend (who has lived here 9 yrs and speaks the local dialect) took over the conversation. After a couple of minutes, I started understanding that my neighbour was complaining about my friend smoking on our premises but she could smell it from her garden. Then I decided to walk away, I was so angry.

Then my friend told me what my neighbour had told her. She said we are not allowed to smoke in our house or in our garden. We are not allowed to have party in our house because nobody wants the noise and that's how it is in this area. She has been living here 40 yrs and that how it has always been.

Is this woman nut or there is really a rule set by households in certain area? Do they also ban people from making *fa...t* in their own house? I recalled not having come across any rules like this in the contract we signed when we bought the house.

My husband and I are not smoking but what should I say next time when we have somebody visiting and smoking?

Thanks for your comments/ideas.
She cannot hinder you from having a party as long as it is not too noisy, and she cannot hinder you from smoking indoors, but she can complain about being molested by somebody smoking on a balcony nearby.

You ought to try to establish contact not with neighbours who want to press forward some views but simply with neighbours and then you will hear what the general idea of the area is. I do not believe that they will be as harsh as the person described, but you will then know what the matter is all about --- and it will be far more normal

And you not smoking and having guests who smoke ? Do what I do and always did. Tell people that your lodgings are non-smoking areas. For smoking they have to get out onto the street.
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  #29  
Old 05.08.2009, 08:43
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Re: Is this normal?

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Sounds pretty standard to me. However, she is not within her rights, the only "law" applicable is what it says in the contract. Invite her over and ask her about how things work around here and if she would mind showing you things like the best way to handle such and such. Old people in Switzerland often feel superfluous so all they do is complain and watch what the neighbours do, it's their sport.

If you make her feel like you in some way depend on her she may turn out to be quite nice. Alternatively, find some common interest or take an interest in hers, often it's just at lack of attention.

Doesn't always work but I would say it's the only chance as we are a stubborn and sadly often passive aggressive bunch sometimes...
And let's be clear, they can be helpful. Here in my apartment block there are two old women and an aging gentlemen who know that they have become "superflous" but really are trying to be helpful for the whole community.



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So I called my husband (a Swiss) and told him the story. He then assured me that this is not a standard behavior at all, and the woman is not even Swiss (you can keep guessing where she comes from). .
I know where she comes from !
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  #30  
Old 05.08.2009, 09:25
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Re: Is this normal?

The posts above were created some two years ago but the similar incidents, me believe, still apply.

If I had blindly listened to all my neighbours wishes, I would have gone nuts....

The best example is last year one of my homies from above asked me to remove one of those "into-wall sucked" plants which manged to climb up to her balcony above and she didn wish to have it there. So me tried to be a good sport, I attempted to remove it. Not only the plaster is badly stripped from the wall because the plant has some strong acids which penetrate the wall's surface and it looks ugly now, but up to date the entire plant died away leaving plenty of dry leaves and ugly gap in the fence.
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  #31  
Old 05.08.2009, 09:30
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Re: Is this normal?

I was curious about this and asked my Swiss husband the way to handle this type of thing here.

He said the woman seems to be lonely and needing attention. If you don't want to engage with her - don't. Simply ignore her. She may mutter and even spit a little fire, but there is nothing she can really do. She has no right to terrorize you, and you have every right to smoke (within reason), have the occasional noisy party, and put a compost bin on your property.
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  #32  
Old 05.08.2009, 09:41
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Re: Is this normal?

On the August the 1st National Day some dudes were smoking Gandzia in the hood. It was so irritating to my nose and also remind me about my young years. Is it legal or illegal to posses it and smoke here in CH?
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  #33  
Old 05.08.2009, 09:53
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Re: Is this normal?

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On the August the 1st National Day some dudes were smoking Gandzia in the hood. It was so irritating to my nose and also remind me about my young years. Is it legal or illegal to posses it and smoke here in CH?
Seems to be almost compulsory around the benches on the shores of Lake Zurich on a sunny day.
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  #34  
Old 05.08.2009, 10:24
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Re: Is this normal?

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About 10 meters from us is the house of an eldly retired woman who appreared to be quite a difficult person...
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Ok, I have a question too. We have moved into a new house where a retired couple lives. Everytime I work in our garden the woman comes into the garden and chats on and on for half an hour and expects me to listen and stop working.

Now we moved here specifically to enjoy the peace, including being in the garden without too much disturbance.

The neighbour is Swiss. Anyway, how do I politely solve this problem, making clear I am really either not interested and/or too busy for spending this much time with her . I want to do this the right way but cannot see a way without upsetting her.
Uhm, someone complaining about an unfriendly and unwelcoming neighbour, making things difficult, and someone else complaining about a nice neighbour trying to have a chat making you feeling very welcome indeed!

We do always have something to complain, don't we? but if I understand the first post, I really can't understand the second.. we have so many posts around this forum complaining about how Swiss are difficult to make friend to - and now you have a very nice neighbour and you are not interested??!
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  #35  
Old 05.08.2009, 10:28
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Re: Is this normal?

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Seems to be almost compulsory around the benches on the shores of Lake Zurich on a sunny day.
... and from time to time some lunatic will walk past the tennis club in my area just inhaling... wait a minute puffing did I say? was that taken from Lewisky and Clinton fable
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  #36  
Old 05.08.2009, 10:40
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Re: Is this normal?

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Kindly tell her to take a jump in the river; by being nice to her you're rewarding and condoning her behaviour. I've had enough of interfering old bats and when the old bat in my block decided to have a physical pop at me once, I had him evicted. Turns out he'd been making life hell for everyone for years.

Live your life without feeling the need to placate the rude: you've done nothing wrong - she owes you an apology if anything. Good Luck
Couldn't have said it better myself!
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  #37  
Old 05.08.2009, 10:42
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Re: Is this normal?

At least they aren't mugging people.
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Seems to be almost compulsory around the benches on the shores of Lake Zurich on a sunny day.
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  #38  
Old 05.08.2009, 10:58
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Re: Is this normal?

this is yet another reason for not buying property here in CH...well unless you are out there in the middle of nowhere with no neighbours...
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Old 05.08.2009, 12:56
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Re: Is this normal?

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Is it legal or illegal to posses it and smoke here in CH?
Not that it's often enforced, but trading, possessing and smoking it is by law prohibited.
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Old 05.08.2009, 12:59
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Re: Is this normal?

But you can grow it.
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Not that it's often enforced, but trading, possessing and smoking it is by law prohibited.
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