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  #41  
Old 17.06.2012, 14:40
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Re: Was I rude to ask a Life Coach why they were qualified for the job? ?

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From what I've always understood, the job of a counsellor is NOT to give advice - but to let the 'client' see more clearly the choices available to them and the pros and cons - and allow them to then make their OWN choice, and take responsibility for their action.
Bang on, Odile. That's exactly what the guy I spoke to was saying.

No guarantee that they'll do the job well -- I guess it's like any other line of work -- but they are certainly not there to give a list of instructions to solve a problem.
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  #42  
Old 17.06.2012, 14:51
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Re: Was I rude to ask a Life Coach why they were qualified for the job? ?

I have a friend how is a life coach and I also met a woman in her late 20's who had just decided to become a life coach.

The friend is early 40's, used to be a doctor with an interest in psychology. She moved to follow her husband to HK and decided not to work but to stay at home and be a mum and a part time life coach. She is on her second marriage and has lived in a couple of countries, she gives great advice and really is a no nonsense type - in a very nice way.... she has 2 very happy contented children and a great marriage. she has about 3/4 clients at a time and is brilliant at helping them though whatever life crisis they are dealing with.
She is always telling me I would be a brilliant life coach - I quite frankly could not tolerate listening to people winge and moan about their problems when the answer is staring them in the face but thats another story....

The other was a really flaky girl with hardly any life experiences. She had a degree but it was in business management - I think or something similar... but to be honest would be the last person I would ask for advice about anything. She only had one client that I knew about before she decided to become and English teacher in HK.

I suspect the woman you had the conversation with was more like the latter because had she been like my friend you would not of left the party before being signed up for her to help you our in some area of your life !!

I met a colleague of my husband's at a party and he is an actuary. I had never even heard of this as a career before and really quizzed him. What did he do, was he a mathematician or an economist, what made him one day decide that was his career path etc etc. he was most amused because he said peoples eyes usually glaze over, everyone else's eyes glazed over but I genuinely wanted to know what he did.....
so I guess my point is this. I don't think there is anything wrong with 'grilling' someone about their job at a party if it is through interest and not to try to intimidate / belittle the person or their profession but also that if said person is confident with their choice and their abilities then they would have the right answers to put you in your place if you did try (or if they thought you were)....
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  #43  
Old 17.06.2012, 15:03
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Re: Was I rude to ask a Life Coach why they were qualified for the job? ?

I would have done the same thing. It is absolutely normal to be curious about such a job and how someone gets there.
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Old 17.06.2012, 15:16
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Re: Was I rude to ask a Life Coach why they were qualified for the job? ?

OP: Had she been in her 40s, 50s or older, would her being introduced as a "Life Coach" been less of an issue for you?

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I was at a dinner recently where a guy known to the group brought his new girlfriend and introduced her profession as a Life Coach. She looked to be in her late 20's, maybe early 30's so it got my curiosity up to know what qualified her to be a Life Coach to others'. I was thinking certainly she must have already accomplished some amazing things to be qualified to coach others and get paid for her services at a relatively young age.

...
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Old 17.06.2012, 15:26
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Re: Was I rude to ask a Life Coach why they were qualified for the job? ?

She's probably not really a life coach. And she's probably not really his girlfriend...

She's probably a "date for hire" and just made that up.
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Old 17.06.2012, 15:58
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Re: Was I rude to ask a Life Coach why they were qualified for the job? ?

If she would answered you "Get a life" ,she would have proven that she is qualified

Last edited by cannut; 17.06.2012 at 17:18.
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  #47  
Old 17.06.2012, 16:49
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Re: Was I rude to ask a Life Coach why they were qualified for the job? ?

OP the guy introduced his girlfriend as whatever. I assume it was a social setting and not a job interview setting? So maybe you could have been polite instead of continuing with your grilling. Not everyone is a high flying over achiever. Maybe the woman had life issues and just wanted to be left alone?

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so I job in a fitness studio/bar/restaurant part time but don't call me waitress!"
I will call my Yoga teacher a waitress next time I see her lol See people as people and not the number of papers they hold. I have always found normal people to be nicer to get on with compared to over achieving qualification collectors
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Old 17.06.2012, 16:59
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Re: Was I rude to ask a Life Coach why they were qualified for the job? ?

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OP the guy introduced his girlfriend as whatever. I assume it was a social setting and not a job interview setting? So maybe you could have been polite instead of continuing with your grilling. Not everyone is a high flying over achiever. Maybe the woman had life issues and just wanted to be left alone?


I will call my Yoga teacher a waitress next time I see her lol See people as people and not the number of papers they hold. I have always found normal people to be nicer to get on with compared to over achieving qualification collectors
i'm not sure that this is the case here. i am a yoga instructor (among other things). if i was at a party and someone asked me what do i do as a yoga instructor then i'd be happy that someone took an interest and explain what i do as a yoga instructor, teacher or if i was a life coach- then i'd be happy to explain what i did as a life coach.

i find it refreshing when someone asks questions about things that they don't know and i see nothing wrong with it in a social setting. the guy was curious, i'd be too. better that then assume you know wth a life coach does- i'd want the life coach to tell me, i find it interesting as i have no idea what that entails.

but what i don't understand is if you are a life coach and can't hold a conversation about what you do or explain it and you get easily offended by being asked and then complain to others about being picked on...what advice can you give me for dealing with life, as a coach?

seems to me (admittedly i have no clue what a life coach does) but i would think that as a life coach, you would/should be better equipped to engage in typical party conversation and situations dealing with life in general, such as 'what do you do?' questions without running away and complaining.
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  #49  
Old 17.06.2012, 17:09
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Re: Was I rude to ask a Life Coach why they were qualified for the job? ?

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I have a friend how is a life coach and I also met a woman in her late 20's who had just decided to become a life coach.

The friend is early 40's, used to be a doctor with an interest in psychology. She moved to follow her husband to HK and decided not to work but to stay at home and be a mum and a part time life coach. She is on her second marriage and has lived in a couple of countries, she gives great advice and really is a no nonsense type - in a very nice way.... she has 2 very happy contented children and a great marriage. she has about 3/4 clients at a time and is brilliant at helping them though whatever life crisis they are dealing with.
She is always telling me I would be a brilliant life coach - I quite frankly could not tolerate listening to people winge and moan about their problems when the answer is staring them in the face but thats another story....

The other was a really flaky girl with hardly any life experiences. She had a degree but it was in business management - I think or something similar... but to be honest would be the last person I would ask for advice about anything. She only had one client that I knew about before she decided to become and English teacher in HK.

I suspect the woman you had the conversation with was more like the latter because had she been like my friend you would not of left the party before being signed up for her to help you our in some area of your life !!

I met a colleague of my husband's at a party and he is an actuary. I had never even heard of this as a career before and really quizzed him. What did he do, was he a mathematician or an economist, what made him one day decide that was his career path etc etc. he was most amused because he said peoples eyes usually glaze over, everyone else's eyes glazed over but I genuinely wanted to know what he did.....
so I guess my point is this. I don't think there is anything wrong with 'grilling' someone about their job at a party if it is through interest and not to try to intimidate / belittle the person or their profession but also that if said person is confident with their choice and their abilities then they would have the right answers to put you in your place if you did try (or if they thought you were)....

To me the first one would not be a great life coach, you said she is on her 2nd marriage so she made the wrong choice 1st time so that's not the kind of person i would want giving me advice. Plus i would want someone qualified
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Old 17.06.2012, 17:11
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Re: Was I rude to ask a Life Coach why they were qualified for the job? ?

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i'm not sure that this is the case here. i am a yoga instructor (among other things). if i was at a party and someone asked me what do i do as a yoga instructor then i'd be happy that someone took an interest and explain what i do as a yoga instructor, teacher or if i was a life coach- then i'd be happy to explain what i did as a life coach. .
I just meant that not everyone in a fitness studio is a waitress Even if they were so what? That was my point. Regarding the life coach lady she probably was insecure about her lack of qualification and probably had zero real experience. So unlike you she was not comfortable talking about herself. I am a curious guy myself but when I see that the other person is not feeling comfortable I back off and not make a big deal about it.

Someone mentioned age as if it was some barometer of smartness. I have met as many old thick people as young thick people. The older thick people just had experience of being thicker for longer.
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  #51  
Old 17.06.2012, 17:12
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Re: Was I rude to ask a Life Coach why they were qualified for the job? ?

Given some of the responses here, I'm beginning to understand why I don't get invited to parties.

..because anytime someone divulges something on any of my favourite "Daily Mail" subjects, I smell blood in the water, and persue them until absolute ridicule has been achieved. On either side. Naturally this works better once i've had a few too....

:
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Old 17.06.2012, 17:19
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Re: Was I rude to ask a Life Coach why they were qualified for the job? ?

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I just meant that not everyone in a fitness studio is a waitress Even if they were so what? That was my point. Regarding the life coach lady she probably was insecure about her lack of qualification and probably had zero real experience. So unlike you she was not comfortable talking about herself. I am a curious guy myself but when I see that the other person is not feeling comfortable I back off and not make a big deal about it.

Someone mentioned age as if it was some barometer of smartness. I have met as many old thick people as young thick people. The older thick people just had experience of being thicker for longer.
well, if you are a waitress you are a waitress. if someone asks what you do naturally you tell them, no shame being a waitress better viewed than a banker by most .

if she is insecure about qualifications then she has reason to be. not because she doesn't have qualifications, but because she is in the position to give people advice about life and can't get secure in her own. i don't think the op meant to make her uncomfortable, i think he just asked about her job because he didn't know what it was- a fair question and more always nice when people ask questions at parties not go on about themselves.

age not being a factor at all here, though experience maybe. anyway, it still sounds to me like this one chose the wrong profession if this is how she reacts...
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  #53  
Old 17.06.2012, 17:23
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Re: Was I rude to ask a Life Coach why they were qualified for the job? ?

http://www.lifecoaching.com/pages/life_coaching.html INteresting site that gives ( one version) of an explanation as to what the job is. The site also has a page with "Become a Life Coach" information.

I have always thought of the as being people who offer the "declutter Your Life or Wardrobe" service, or assisting in time management, eg: for thoses who are busy with work, family, study - ideas on defining times for separate things includeing personal time. At a push, I would see them delving into conflict resolution by intoruducing and encouraging clients to use a set formula.

To the OP - there is a difference in asking someone "what sort of training/qualifications are needed for that sort of work?" and "What are your qualifications for that sort of work?" I think one is more appropriate for a casual, social situation, the other for when one is seeking out someone to be paid for a service.
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Old 17.06.2012, 17:33
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Re: Was I rude to ask a Life Coach why they were qualified for the job? ?

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To me the first one would not be a great life coach, you said she is on her 2nd marriage so she made the wrong choice 1st time so that's not the kind of person i would want giving me advice. Plus i would want someone qualified
well she married quite young after pressure from their very religious Greek families.... she has detached herself successfully from the pressure and survived a very traumatic divorce.
If I needed help going through family issues / divorce I would definately go to someone who has personal experience and who has come out the other side as a much stronger and happier person.

isha asked a question about age...and I'm not sure age is relevant. If I were to go to a life coach I would want it to be someone who had benefited from life experience. Someone who is 30 could be a wise and experienced person and someone who is 50 could be sheltered and inexperienced......
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Old 17.06.2012, 18:07
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Re: Was I rude to ask a Life Coach why they were qualified for the job? ?

I couldn't agree more. Having known people who perfectly fit the bill of the examples you quote, age absolutely is NOT relevant here IMO. It's the possibility of benefiting from their knowledge and experience of whatever issue(s) I may be going through that matters...

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well she married quite young after pressure from their very religious Greek families.... she has detached herself successfully from the pressure and survived a very traumatic divorce.
If I needed help going through family issues / divorce I would definately go to someone who has personal experience and who has come out the other side as a much stronger and happier person.

isha asked a question about age...and I'm not sure age is relevant. If I were to go to a life coach I would want it to be someone who had benefited from life experience. Someone who is 30 could be a wise and experienced person and someone who is 50 could be sheltered and inexperienced......
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Old 17.06.2012, 18:26
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Re: Was I rude to ask a Life Coach why they were qualified for the job? ?

You were not rude, but not fully informed. in the US there is an organization that teaches people to be "life coaches". it intends to be an all encompassing organization that gives people who qualify a document stating that they are a qualifed life coach. (they pay money for the certificate)

i am one of those people. and if you asked me "what the hell makes you qualified to do that?" i would be happy to respond and never irritated. as it is a new profession questions like that are acceptable.
in my case however, i am not young, have substantial training etc that have gone towards my qualifications ( MBA, CPA, CFP, PhD, Doctor of Pharmacy - yep all those things!)

but i completely understand your skepticism especially when a 30 something claims they are a life coach. it only means they completed the training, not have some personal worldly view of how life should work for people!!

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Old 17.06.2012, 18:42
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Re: Was I rude to ask a Life Coach why they were qualified for the job? ?

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Given some of the responses here, I'm beginning to understand why I don't get invited to parties.

..because anytime someone divulges something on any of my favourite "Daily Mail" subjects, I smell blood in the water, and persue them until absolute ridicule has been achieved. On either side. Naturally this works better once i've had a few too....

:
That's it - you're invited to my next party!
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Old 17.06.2012, 19:15
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Re: Was I rude to ask a Life Coach why they were qualified for the job? ?

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It is a great shame that the overall tone towards life coaches is negative. Some people would really benefit from having somebody straighten out a few things in their life...
I just wonder - do the people who use life-coaches not have any friends?
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Old 17.06.2012, 19:38
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Re: Was I rude to ask a Life Coach why they were qualified for the job? ?

Then there's that old saying "those that can, do, and those that can't, teach". Or in this case, coach.
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Old 17.06.2012, 19:48
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Re: Was I rude to ask a Life Coach why they were qualified for the job? ?

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well she married quite young after pressure from their very religious Greek families.... she has detached herself successfully from the pressure and survived a very traumatic divorce.
If I needed help going through family issues / divorce I would definately go to someone who has personal experience and who has come out the other side as a much stronger and happier person.

isha asked a question about age...and I'm not sure age is relevant. If I were to go to a life coach I would want it to be someone who had benefited from life experience. Someone who is 30 could be a wise and experienced person and someone who is 50 could be sheltered and inexperienced......

Well there you it shows she was not strong enough to make her own decision,
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